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First new post in a while...
Read a post today and was a little shocked. Won't labour on it but did stir up a question
What genres or styles or music do we feel are not appropriate for a wedding *unless the client specifically requests*
Me personally, my repertoire does not include any Rave or Metal, I try to stay this side of the 50's and limit the harshness of the Hip Hop
What are your boundaries
I have no boundaries and no shame.Quote:
Originally Posted by Andy P
The customer (the Bride and Groom) pay me to play what they want. I've done weddings with huge sections of Rave, Metal, and even Drum & Bass (never again on the latter).
I've even stooped so low in the past as to do an all night absolute cheese fest (and I'm talking YMCA, Cha Cha Slide, Oops Upside Your Head....you get the idea).
Obviously if left to my own devices I play to the guests with whatever's going to get them up and busting moves on my 'floor which is usually a bit of everything.
Exactly what he said, with one qualification. If under eighteens are present, explicit tracks will not be played. Otherwise, it's all grist to the mill.Quote:
Originally Posted by Imagine
I did steer clear of a request one night for Yvonne Fair's "It should have been me", and Band of Gold is one I shy away from being all about divorce.
Apart from that, anything with rudey dudey words in are verboten, though the clean versions, usually courtesy of Mastermix, DMC or Now are fine.
Ooh how did I miss this thread?
It it works and is what my bride and grooms want then i'll play it unless it's grossly offensive lyrically, political (i.e. Loyalist / Rebel tunes) or football related unless the B&G support a team and expressly ask me to play it but even then there's a veto depending on the songs.
That being said, you wouldn't have liked Saturdays setlist.
7pm start (bride didn't even care if her evening guests had arrived or not, charming) through to 1:45 with 90% of it being dance music and I mean hard dance.
It was pretty fun for me because I got to do some tasty mixing for a change.
The oldies hated it and vocalised it to me. I explained that this was what the bride and groom wanted and any time I deviated from it, she would tell me to get back to the dance stuff and it was her wedding after all. One aunt challenged her on it and was told she could get one song from the 70s then could :Censored::Censored::Censored::Censored: off (again, charming)
The majority of the crowd though who were off their face on all sorts lapped it up. I was REALLY against her wishes and let her know in a diplomatic way but for once (and with the aid of a load of class A and B narcotics) the "it's fine, we all love a dance" statement was actually true!!!
I had to caveat to a potential client today however that this setlist which is now on my homepage is nowhere near indicative of what I usually do.
I did have a barney on one of the Scottish forums a year or two ago because he took umbridge to me playing Chumbawumba as a 'One more song' number.
He was a :Censored::Censored::Censored::Censored: DJ anyway but I'm not sure why he got so indignant about that being played at a wedding. It's a stone cold banger and works great with indie crowds. Maybe he's still playing his Aerosmith and Bryan Adams tunes at his weddings :rolleyes:
I don't think any music is really inappropriate for weddings as such. Certain types suit some customers & crowds better than others but really pretty much anything goes in my book. That said I still feel slightly uncomfortable playing tracks with sweary lyrics even though censored versions generally sound ridiculous to me.
For me there's no "you can't play XYZ" at a wedding, where XYZ is hiphop, rave, metal or whatever - with one caveat along the lines of Jim's comments about secularism/tribalism. Tracks like The Best & Penny Arcade can & DO cause major rucks & we have to be very careful.
So yeah I play Young Hearts Run Free & Band of Gold at weddings.. Heck a bride last year asked me to play Sash - Encore Une Fois for her ex & they both had a damn good bounce around to it as new hubby looked on smiling. Really, if many people cared that much about a song's lyrical content we wouldn't see Heartland - I Loved Her First as a father & daughter dance IMHO. My nickname for that track is along the lines of "I got there first".
Jim - I've just looked at your site & the list you mentioned didn't strike me as particularly ravey. A wee bit dance heavy maybe. Not too far from what I need to play about half the time at my gigs. But DJ Bad Boy.. What a load of ... crock! :lol: Just can't beat a good Jesse Bloch remix though! :D (his Paramore edit isn't one of his best IMHO). BTW If you wanna know about ravey at weddings.. one of my mates gets quite a lot of call for makina. Maybe that's one area I wouldn't go - but purely because I know so little about it.
Gary Glitter.
Even if requested by the client, I can't see how I would still play it.
I said that about glitter and Rolf Harris. Til I had a bride requesting The Court of King Caractacus. Oh gawd I hope I never get asked to do that again!Quote:
Originally Posted by rth_discos
I agree completely, but..................Quote:
Originally Posted by rth_discos
I was urged to play one by him at a function, and it worked very well, despite my reservations. :daft:
Our clients have " interesting " music choices from time to time, Justin. :whistle: Sometimes, there are good reasons behind them, which we know nothing of.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nakatomi
I agree to some extent that the customer paying should get what they want, however I would always try and advise them in a pre-gig meeting following years of experience and witnessing what sticking to what THEY want (and not taking their guests tastes into consideration), can result in.
Luckily (for me anyway), most of the Brides and Grooms I dealt with DID take their guests tastes into consideration. I can probably count on one hand the number of times when a couple (or one of them), were adamant that I stick to what they wanted and tough luck for everybody else.
The main one that sticks out was well over 10 years ago and the theme was medieval. Everything looked the dogs doo dah's, the venue, the set up, the way the Bride & Groom and the majority of their guests were dressed etc etc.... Beforehand you would have said it will be a cracker. However......Out of probably 150 people attending, the Bride and 3 of her bridesmaids and a couple of other guests were intent on having multiple Metallica and Megadeth songs alternated so that they could headbang. The first dance was Metallica's 'Nothing Else Matters' (not the first time it had been chosen as a first dance), and it went down well, but after that the dance floor cleared and it was unbelievably embarrassing for me for starters. I had guests coming up to me asking what the hell I was playing. All I could do was be honest and say it was what the Bride wanted.
As said elsewhere, she was challenged too by one of the guests and swiftly told where to go.
It got to one point in the night and I'll be honest (not that it should have bothered me, but I wanted it to work), I got sick of telling angry guests that I was playing what the Bride wanted. I remember the Groom coming over and asking if I wanted a drink. I remember saying to him, What I want is for your guests to stop hassling me. In the end I told him that if he didn't want people leaving early and the reception to be a wash out, he'd have to have a word with his Bride and tell her to let me play some of the guests request. I watched him go over to her and her bridesmaids whilst they were headbanging. I saw the look of disgust on her face. I saw her neck her drink in one gulp and then storm off the dance floor, her bridesmaids in tow.
Funny though eh, within minutes of the music changing, the dance floor was packed and stayed like it for the rest of the night. I think the damage had been done anyway, but I did my best to give them a good time. When the Bride contacted me a week or so after with her feedback, she actually said that she was slightly disappointed that I didn't play many of her requests. I had actually played every single one of them plus a couple of extras, hence why the night was rapidly going downhill. If I'd not said anything to the Groom, I would have no doubt had to put up with a whole venue full of anger and boredom.....
I don't mind playing anything, it doesn't bother me too much, but I hate standing there and people thinking that the reason they are sitting there bored with a couple of people on the dance floor is my fault, when it isn't. They are entitled to waste their money if they want, but I'll always try to advise them. If they don't want to listen then what can you do?
....and lastly, being more into the Indie / Rock / Alternative side of things myself, I really didn't mind playing their requests. The thing is, it isn't about what I / We like is it, I put my wedding DJ head on and looked around the room. I didn't mind hearing Disturbed - Down With The Sickness...great track, but the older guests and most of the 'too cool for school' wannabe's hated it.
Apologies for the long reply, I got a bit carried away there!
She just sounds like a complete arse. Not all bridezillas have pink glittery nails and want to ride into the church on a unicorn...Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakermaker Promotions
With reference to Glitter - not a :Censored::Censored::Censored::Censored:ing chance I would play his stuff. I cringe whenever the b or g request Michael Jackson and that's the only time I play it now and only because there's enough ambiguity about his guilt (to some, not to me) but Glitter and R Kelly?
Might seem like overreacting to it but a. I work with some of the most vulnerable children about here, many of whom have, currently are or sadly will be sexually abuse and b. you never know who is in the audience - this goes on EVERYWHERE, do you really want to be playing a known paedophiles song with 150+ people, any of whom could potentially have been abused? I know I don't.
Gary, don't apologise. Your posts are always a good read, so keep typing.
Jim, I understand your stance completely, and can't say a word against it. Well done that man.
What's inappropriate for weddings? Just about everything I've played today!
Add lostprophets to that list. I Still play MJ when asked. Even R Kelly when asked by the B & G. its a shame it's not easy to seperate the man from the music.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim - Scotland's Party DJ
Glitter, No chance.
Believe it or not, when we met in advance of the wedding, she was very nice. She also appeared to be listening (and agreeing) with what I was saying about taking their guests music tastes into consideration. When she started listing the bands she wanted me to play, I was encouraged into thinking that there may be a whole bunch of people attending who were into the same genre (I was wrong). We even agreed at that meeting to get the cheesiness and usual wedding fodder out of the way in the first few hours and then give it a kind of rockier alternative club atmosphere during the last 90 minutes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim - Scotland's Party DJ
That may have (probably would have) worked, but she moved the goalposts and changed her mind and wanted me to go straight into it all after the first dances. I hate being told what to do, especially when I know best (no ego intended). As I said, I also hate standing there with all eyes on me, looking at me in disgust because I am responsible for the music that is coming out of the speakers that is so far away from what they like, it's unbelievable. The number of times I have just wanted to get on that microphone and tell everybody the score - "Look you lot, with your faces like thunder. I am playing what the Bride wants to hear. If she had any sense, she would let me play some of your requests, sadly she doesn't have any sense. She may look absolutely gorgeous (and she was), but as she's just told me....she's the one that's paying me and what she says goes. So ladies and gents, she more or less doesn't give a toss whether you like it or not. You can either sit there and grin and bear it or you can try and enjoy yourselves or you can just leave, I am sure she won't even notice!!!".
Blimey, if only eh!
I would love to have done that on so many occasions. When the hours standing there just feel like seconds and it's the longest night ever. When thinking "It could be worse" just doesn't cut it anymore.
It's easy to look back and laugh at it now, but it was far from that back then. I just wanted to stop, pack everything up and leave them to it.................. I didn't though, obviously.
There have been a few occasions when standing behind the booth has become that uncomfortable when I've picked up a radio mic for announcements and resorted to using the VDJ remote app from a hidden location...Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakermaker Promotions
Julian
100% in agreement but I like to mitigate that by cracking out with something like:Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakermaker Promotions
Just a heads up folks, the following tunes are specially selected by B & G, or as I like to call them, the people who have fed and watered you all day. They're not going to be everyone's cup of tea but it's their big day and if you've got a problem with the tunes, come and whine to me, not them.
It lets people know that it's not my music (my main consideration) and most people won't come up and moan at that point.
And yesterday, I was in exactly that position, except............................................Quote:
Originally Posted by Shakermaker Promotions
the guests all loved it to bits, and kept coming up to say what an awesome DJ I was! :eek: Sometimes, the bride is totally in tune with her guests. In your case Gary, obviously not.
An interesting ploy, Jim. Not exactly my policy, but not diametrically opposed, either.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim - Scotland's Party DJ
Oh, believe me.....it didn't take me long after that episode to make sure that I told everybody in no certain terms that I was playing music selected by the Bride & Groom and their guests, shifting any blame and getting the excuses out of the way as quickly as possible.
Remember, this particular scenario was well over 10 years ago.
After that I used to try and get everybody's attention early on by making an announcement. I'd also do it again just before I was about to announce the first dance(s) or cake cutting, hoping that the majority would hear me. I tried to make myself sound as clear as possible. I attended a friends wedding a couple of weeks ago and the DJ had total silence from everybody as he made the announcement of the first dance..... the problem was, he STILL sounded muffled and not many of us could understand a word he was saying.
What I used to say was along the lines of "Good evening ladies & gents. I hope you have enjoyed celebrating (insert couples names) big day today. Before we go any further, can we have a massive round of applause for the happy couple (hopefully, lots of cheering and clapping follows) - My name is Gary and I'll be with you until Midnight. I have a great list of requests from the Bride & Groom and also you lot so hopefully there is something in there for everybody. If you have any music requests, please come over and see me"...... I would then go on to the usual first dance announcements etc....
I had it pretty much under control following the scenario I have mentioned and didn't really have any issues after that. Of course, there were still occasions where guests would still question what was playing, probably because they never heard my announcements. It's sad to say really, but there were a number of occasions where a guest would come over (usually female), and ask for something that I'd been told not to play for whatever reason. They'd argue the toss as if it was the most important thing in their lives and would spoil their evening if I didn't play it.
It was comical (to me). They would often say "I'll go and have a word with the Bride" and I would find myself saying "They don't want to hear that for a reason. Don't hassle them on their big day"... Sometimes they'd take the advice, sometimes they wouldn't and they'd go off to the Bride and it would be awkward. Sometimes the Bride would give in and let them have their 3 minutes of joy, but I always had a little grin on my face when the Bride stuck to her guns and we'd give each other the thumbs up.
Inappropriate music for weddings - I try and avoid any explicit material.
Even if it is accepted by wedding guests, I bear in mind the venue I am working in, any guests staying that are not part of the wedding and even that one guest who may find it offensive.
One query - :Censored: in Paris must be one of my most requested songs, I try to avoid playing. Would you play it or not ?
Mod Note: It is against the rules to substitute asterisks to avoid the Forum Censor. It also annoys crabby old mods when you don't spell the song title correctly,Chris. :p
Excalibur, Forum Jobsworth, and grumpy with it.
Haven't had it requested recently myself, I've played it once, for eighteen year olds. Don't ever see me playing it at a wedding. However, at Wednesday's wedding, a Tenacious D track was requested, the one with Gently in the title. ;):eek: I declined to play it. ( Even though I've a strong suspicion it would have gone down a storm. Tribute certainly did.Quote:
Originally Posted by ppentertainments
I've played :Censored: her gently as the last song at 2 weddings and it went down brilliantly.
Played it (the clean/censored version) at the last two weddings. :D Not because it was requested, just because I thought it'd go down well with the crowd (and it did).Quote:
Originally Posted by ppentertainments
Julian
Gary, Julian, you surprise me. I would never have countenanced playing it. Perhaps time to reconsider my stance, who knows? :confused:
( Added to which, I didn't know there was a clean/censored version. ) Linky?
Me either :daft:Quote:
Originally Posted by Excalibur
Neither did I. I've always played the X rated version that I have had for years.
You pottymouth! :eek::DQuote:
Originally Posted by Shakermaker Promotions
Talking of explicit music, if you've got George Michael's Fast Love, I'm 99% sure your version has swearing in it...
There is a version on a Now album, so that stands a good chance of being clean. It's not guaranteed though.Quote:
Originally Posted by rth_discos
I like music has a "Radio edit" and a "Clean amended version" (their words not mine!)Quote:
Originally Posted by Excalibur
Talking of music that would usually be considered inappropriate for a wedding, how about Dutch Trance party dances?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFEDBewcfks
Groom was Dutch and this led into a storming Trance set (Zombie nation, Sandstorm, Robert Miles, etc). I forgot to play Scooter though :muppet:
Julian
Burn him! Burn him! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ Jules
Well it's better than the Cha Cha Slide. But not this, which has come up at a few weddings recently (twice during the gig, once a pre-request by a guest)..Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ Jules
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vloUhu7QxmU&t=26s Big in Belgium & Germany apparently, go figure
Oh & Re that Paris er.. song.. Oddly enough it came up as a bridesmaid's request last night while I was still playing Macklemore Can't Hold Us. Blow me if it didn't fit right in, so on it went. I pondered which edit to play.. the uncut or the one I bought from ILM.. and went with the uncut version. Oh how I kinda wished I hadn't. But then, the 'olds' in the room had been giving me faces all night anyway about the music. It was, you could say, out of my hands.
This just in.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3Pt43NlKsA
and this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUhImV302rA
The Samaritans have put me on hold..
So yesterday I got a text from a relative of a groom to be whose wedding I'm DJing tomorrow, asking if there's any chance I could play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vzj3duadvYE
at a certain point. Naturally, alarm bells rang so I had to dig a little. Well.. more on this story later maybe.
I can't think of anything less appropriate to play at a wedding, other than a certain track by The Beautiful South (Don't marry her....).Quote:
Originally Posted by Nakatomi
And most definitely not the album version! Famously broadcast inadvertently by a store, or suchlike. :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ Jules
My couple on Saturday really struggled to find a song for their first dance, so imagine my shock when they finally decided on Whitney Houston 'Saving All My Love'
Oof! Mind, I almost had Chicago's Hard To Say I'm Sorry for the 1st dance at one very ill-fated gig. It was changed at the very last minute.Quote:
Originally Posted by mark@pegasus
I had Billy Paul - Me and Mrs Jones.Quote:
Originally Posted by mark@pegasus
Great tune, not suitable at all for a first dance........
Everyone sang along, loved it and not one comment or puzzled faced.
There isn't really any songs that are inappropriate for a wedding I'd say. There's tons that shouldn't be but christ people know the words but don't pay any attention to what the song is about.
(Just an afterthought if you're doing a same sex wedding then something like "when a man loves a woman" would more than likely cause offence).
I had a great request from a guest on Friday night: "The Offspring" - Get a job. The Bride is currently unemployed....
Julian
Two more have just sprung to mind,
Several years ago I had the groom request Paul Simon '50 ways to leave your lover' and last year at a wedding for 2 woman, one them requested Diana Ross I'm coming out and I thought to myself if your guests don't know by now :zip: