Good Gig, Bad Gig.

[Nakatomi]

Absolutely awful gig tonight. Great numbers, but unenthusiastic & all at odds with the decree that nothing older than 1980 be played. Oh, and they seemed to be having a competition to see who could be the most obnoxious . We had a winner, but she fell over on the soaking wet dancefloor (I repeatedly stopped the music to try & get them to refrain from drinking and dancing, but no), wiping more people out as she went down. I didn't laugh, I promise. Well not over the mic anyway. She'll likely be at A&E now having her injured wrist seen to. Hopefully she won't have too long a wait, eh?

Ah well. Only 2 more gigs til BPM.


Mod Note: Very creative use of language there Justin, and while it didn't break the letter of the rules, it bent them a long way out of shape. In keeping with my never ending quest to protect the sensibilities of our delicate readership, I've inserted Mr Pottymouth instead.
All the best, Mary Whitehouse.

[Imagine]

I am ashamed......

I played Oops upside your head! TWICE!!!!!! Back to back!

Actually....it was an absolute corker of a party for me tonight and there are times when the real stinky stuff just works for the guests that are there.
I was about an hour away from home in a Con Club (seem to be doing a lot of those recently). The birthday girl had sent through a few pointers as to the type of music she'd like (mainly 80s and 90s stuff), so it was always going to be a good one.

Once I got started though, the requests started flooding in.....most of them for Macarena, Cha Cha Slide, YMCA, Saturday Night....you can see where this is going

They lapped it up by the bucketload and I've got to admit that I had a massive grin on my face. It's all very well doing these ones that want "proper" music, but if the guests are going to react to the cheddar....I'm not going to stop them from having a good time.

The guests for once were absolute angels as well. Nobody staggering and stinking of booze onto my stage, nobody trying to cling onto the speaker poles to remain upright....it was a real pleasure tonight. So much so that once all the guests had left and I'd packed away, I realised that the birthday girl and her two teenage sons were left alone to do the clearing up. Well, I can't leave a damsel in distress so helped with things like putting the chairs and tables back into storage. Call it my good deed for the day.

That's it for me now until the 24th
I'm not allowed to work next weekend because it's my outlaws golden wedding and they've nicely decided to host a family BBQ from 3:30pm next Saturday, killing any chance of either a cheeky kids party in the afternoon or a wedding in the evening (and I could have booked next Saturday out 32 times over so not a happy bunny on the timings of this one). The following week is a Scout camp so no work then either.

So, see you all next Sunday night in Brum

[Excalibur]

with the decree that nothing older than 1980 be played.

Well no wonder you had a night. You banned all the good stuff, and left the dross.

I am ashamed......

I played Oops upside your head! TWICE!!!!!! Back to back!

Over egging the pudding, I'd have said. There are limits, you know.

It's all very well doing these ones that want "proper" music, but if the guests are going to react to the cheddar....I'm not going to stop them from having a good time.

You're learning, Glasshopper, you're learning.

OK, my weekend. The best laid schemes of mice and men...................... Wedding on Saturday for a lovely couple who wanted to put their own stamp on the event. Went to get the kit in place Friday night for a leisurely Saturday. On the way there I got a call from a forum member who needed a hand with a gig he'd been unexpectedly put in charge of. So, I threw as much kit into mine as possible, drove rapidly home for a clean up, and went to help him. We had a Dolly Parton tribute act on, with Yamaha DXR12s. How I restrained myself from walking over to her desk and rolling the more painful top frequencies off, I'll never know. Where we were, it was genuinely painful.
Not a bad night, and we got the kit loaded up for the owner's Dad to repatriate.

Saturday was thus compromised for me, so I was there before the doors were to be opened to let me in. Guess what, caretaker was late, as was the bar. Grr. When the family decorated the hall on Friday, my space was limited by all manner of things, including some LOVE letters equipped with some bits of leftover searchlight! Blimey, they were bright. We didn't need any other lights at all, especially as the family had put strings of lights round the entire room, with a couple of illuminated backdrops.

I got the kit wired up in a less than ideal fashion, as I'd got the small Karaoke mixer in play, as they wanted that too. ( More on that later ). Fortunately for me, they were late arriving, so I got it done and changed into my suit. I had the gobo projector shining on the far wall, and it looked brilliant.
Mention must be made of the playlist. Leaning heavily to Indie/Alternative and Rock/Metal, with a nod in the direction of not too cheesy party classics. Absolute cracker.

So, off I go with the afternoon list, and it was superb:
fine young cannibals = she drives me crazy
wonderwall = oasis
bitter sweet symphony = the verve
creep = radiohead
feeeling good = muse
eletric feel = mgmt
somewhere only we know = keane
island in the sun = weezer
steady as she goes – raconteurs
she moves in her own way – the kooks
have a nice day – stereophonics
fell on black days – soundgarden
man who sold the world – nirvana
under the bridge – red hot chili peppers
everlong – foo fighters
wherever you will go - the calling
Iris – Goo Goo Dolls
My Hero (acoustic) – Foo Fighters
Patience – Guns n Roses
Only Exception – Paramore
Love Rollercoaster – Red Hot Chili Peppers
You've got a friend - McFly
Hotel California – The Eagles
Aint No Sunshine – Bill Withers

At the behest of guests, we slipped in Metallica- Nothing else matters, which went down a storm, and Don Henley - Boys of Summer. Then the Fish and Chip van arrived, and we got them fed, table by table. This ran quickly, and by the time speeches had finished, we were an hour or so ahead of schedule!!
As they were all champing at the bit, and little else was available, I set off into the evening list. Well that was it, we were off and running. We slowed down for cake cutting and first dance, then revved up again. Just like Wayne, lots of cheese was requested, and we alternated bouts of this with snippets from the playlist. Meat Loaf, Metallica and G'n'R were top of the list, with AC/DC close behind. Following this sort of thing directly with Macarena and Cha Cha Slide was a tad surreal.
We slowed a touch for the buffet, and then hurtled into the final stretch. It would have been in my top five gigs, but for the following:

Firstly, they ran out of puff at eleven, an hour before the intended finish of midnight. I could have finished at eleven easily, but we went into requestfest mode, and made it till quarter to.

Secondly, the Karaoke. Or not. Two requests for it, an hour and a half before the end. Wish I'd never taken it, especially when it threw up a gremlin somewhere, either in cabling or mixer. I was sure I'd heard the mic channel degrading, and then one speaker apparently died. I went out to the van, and brought an Alto in. This worked initially, until it too died. At this point, I was worried, until I calmed down and went fault finding. I knew I'd had cable issues before, and I isolated the faulty channel, and bypassed the Karaoke mixer on this one, and went direct to the controller. Worked just fine, phew!

The Karaoke had been not only pointless, but also a big handicap to me. My life would have been easier without it. We had so much going on, as they had laid on all manner of things to keep adults and children alike amused, including a dressing up box, inflatable guitars and saxes, popcorn and candy floss.

The venue was perfectly decorated, the guests were absolutely brilliant, the playlist was perfect ( I could have cheerfully gone on till I'd played the lot ) and only the length of the day stopped it being brilliant, as they were tired out an hour early. Still, the groom couldn't praise me enough, and the bride was tired but happy, so job done, I'd say.

[Nakatomi]

Well no wonder you had a night. You banned all the good stuff, and left the dross.

Ha! Though last night did bring a couple of nice 80s requests out - 1999 & Bowie's Let's Dance. Way better than the usual suspects & good reactions too.

Apologies for the creative language though. It won't happen again

[Excalibur]

Apologies for the creative language though. It won't happen again

Quite impressed me, actually. Once I'd read it for the third time and pondered a bit. Like I said, didn't actually break the rules, but put a helluva bend in.

Fear not, The White Haired Old Git is always on the lookout for such transgressions, and ready to ensure that our members are not assailed by unwholesome or disturbing content.

[DJColsie]

I had two fantastic weddings last week which left me on a high.

Paid for it this week and was brought heavily down to earth.

Was initially free this weekend as I have weddings Thurs, Fri and Sat this week coming. On Friday just gone received a phone call while on lunch from the day job. Was I free tomorrow? A hesitant yes. How much for a house party in Bosham 7 - midnight?

Quoted my usual fee plus £50 as I was looking forward to date night with the Mrs. He bit my hand off and the money was in my business account within 15 mins.

I do know Bosham, a little village formed round a natural harbour with the cost road in and out flooding at high tide occasionally. He warned me of this. Anyway, look up the tide times and high tide is 2.15am. All good.

Any way turn up on Saturday with Micron booth and minimal kit. No stands, speakers and lights on the floor. Parked on the drive of a huge house is a 15 plate Porshe and Ferrari. So much land that they have a football pitch and a tennis court! Also had a huge inflatable slide that was taller than the house plus space for 15 - 20 tents and camper vans, where people attending the party where sleeping!

All set up in the huge drawing room and things seemed good. Lots of kids were playing football with the Dads and girls using the slide with Mums. Easy going then it starts raining and they all come in. Suddenly I am chief entertainment for 20-25 under 12's. Hold on I don't do kids parties. Oh well 45 mins of chart music and trap crap and I am frazzled! 6 under 12's crowding round demanding this and that was more than my nerves could take.

Wife of the party boy comes in and asks if I want a cup of tea😀 And says as I am doing such a good job the adults have decided to have a civilised meal on their own without the kids😒.

Another 90 mins of screaming kids follows. Then husband comes in about 9.30 and says they are going to put the kids to bed. Relief!

About 10 all the adults return and party boy says they want 2 hours of "Ibiza" music less than 2 years old! But you are all in your late 30's early 40's, this is not going to work I think to my self. So for 3 songs they dance game-fully then all retire to the dinning room. Party boy comes back in stinking of whiskey and says this won't do and moves round to my side of the both and starts picking tunes!

I pay his choices and still no takers. So I bite the bullet and play some 80's. In come all the ladies and led by them we have a successfilish last hour. Except at midnight I had the best dancefloor and about 4 reasonable requests outstanding. So of my own accord and choice decide a 12.15 finish it is. Finish at 11.20 and one lady complains I haven't played her song, raise a glass by Pink. Her husband comes over and says what a wonderful job I've done and gives me a £20 note in a handshake.

So a 12.30 finish ensues. I pack up but it takes a while to carry the cases back from the car then carefully back through the house and across the drive. Leave about 1.10. Down the drive turn right onto the unlit shore road. 150m down the shore road and the sea is at least 30cm deep over over the road. Oh hec!

So I have to reverse 150m down an unlit single twisty turns unlit road within the sea lapping at my left hand side. Takes a little while. Then reverse back into his drive and and turn left which adds 15 mins to the journey home!

Chalk that one down to experience and look forward to this weeks wedding!

[ppentertainments]

Friday I had one of my most boring, difficult disco with absolutely no atmosphere all night

Sunday I get a long email saying how great Friday night was and that I was fantastic, all the guests commented on what a great night and so different to the usual wedding discos.

Go figure !

[Excalibur]

This job rarely runs to plan, does it?, 60th birthday near Leeds, playlist leaning towards 70s rock and disco.,Got in early, and all set up in the allotted DJ corner. Fifteen yards from the dancefloor., For two hours not an adult approached, it was all anklebiters wanting modern stuff. I tried to keep them happy, while slotting in some playlist tunes. An hour and a half to go, the adults woke up, and I had requests for old and new stuff aplenty. No real structure to the night, just a hotch potch of groups of tracks at best.

Isn't it funny how you spot all the tracks you think you should have played as you finish? I thought it was a below par performance from me. Birthday boy and wife were very happy, so not that bad. Now the funny bit.

Young lad from behind the bar came up and shook my hand, said I was really good. As I packed up and left, many folk thanked and complimented me.

Funny old game, isn't it?

[Nakatomi]

A fairly strange crowd last night at a Disney themed wedding... Floor was rammed sporadically from just after the first dance to finishing time. In all that time only 5 requests were offered & all of them got played (and all came with "do you take requests?" Well DUH I said as much in my intro didn't I?!). Just before the cake cut there was a big pause while both togs & happy couple stared at me. What? Was I expected to say something momentous? I looked at the DM, he shrugged. I thought "hmm...". It didn't help that I had a b-roll camera pointed at my boat mind. So, off we went into a countdown. This, it seemed still wasn't quite what the couple expected - but hey - here's an idea - if you have a particular idea about what you'd like to happen why not consult the DJ about it eh?! Normally I announce the cake cut & invite people to photograph it & off the couple go under their own steam unless they've asked for a countdown - either that or the photographer directs it.

Their first dance got a very rousing welcome & from there I ratcheted things up & the floor was very busy for about an hour. Buffet time came & I had some fun with the background music. As I saw plates were mostly empty out came The Lion Sleeps Tonight.. and just for novelty value Hakuna Matata. Ooops. Full floor!

After that there were fallow periods where most of the room seemed to have disappeared but Drake triggered a busy floor & out came a lot of EDM & party cheese. There was even a request for THE CONGA, which effectively got played twice in a row because I looped a large swathe of it. The last 20 minutes were a full-on hazy, occasionally stroby EDM quickfire mashed up affair ending with Don't Stop The Party, before bigging up the B&G once more & playing them out with the Medley & Warnes thing.

I'd like to say that packing down & getting out took an inordinate amount of time because of the long line of people wanting to thank me but no - it just took twice as long as it should have.

Onwards to BPM! See some of you there later

EDIT: Top tip: A thought occurred to me when the video tog asked for the 1st dance track details - if they've upset you, wouldn't it be funny to play the 1st dance a cent or two too fast? Try lining THAT up in post. Muhahahaha.

[Jim - Scotland's Party DJ]

All day wedding yesterday which was brilliant except for the really weird, quite scary at points, piper.

It's really long but if you want the 2nd part of it I'll post that up too:



So today's gig is a full day wedding. I'll be playing music for guests arriving, ceremony, drinks, meal, reception etc...


I get there in plenty of time as the bride is hoping to have the ceremony outside and that means added jiggery pockery set up wise to make it happen.


I get there, the sun is splitting the sky, I get my outdoor rig set up, change into my performing gear and all is well.


The celebrant introduces himself and we're going over the finer details of how the ceremony will play out - he'll give me a cue when to kill the music to do his intro and so on.


At this point the piper is mulling around in the background on his phone. I call over to him - "So the bride's changed things up a bit - you've to pipe her from the front door down to the top of the aisle and then I'll play the song she wants to walk down the aisle to.


Piper - "OK, what song does she want me to play?"


"I don't know mate hasn't she told you?"


Back to his phone "well yeah but I've not checked any of her e-mails" (this is about 5 minutes before the expected start time)


piper "OK so she wants me to play the Skye Boat Song as she comes in..."


"Yeah and then you stop at the top of the aisle and I'll start the music she wants to go down the aisle to. And then she says you're piping her back up the aisle."


piper "OK, and what does she want me to play her back up the aisle to?"


"I don't know mate - I'm not the one that's booked you..."


Piper goes back to his phone: "ah right, ok, got it now."


The celebrant is now looking at me with a WTF expression on his face.


Piper: "So what's the plan?"


"You play her down to the top of the aisle then stop, I then play the tune she's asked to walk down the aisle to. You then pipe her back up the aisle and then I start playing party tunes."


Piper: "OK"


Me: "when do the flames go off btw?"


Piper: "flames?"


Me: "Yeah,, she said you shoot flames out of your pipes, I want to see that."


Piper: "I've to do the flames?"


Me: "Mate I'm just the DJ I didn't book you but she said you're doing the flames."


Piper goes back to his phone: "Ah right, I better get my flames ready"


END SCENE ONE


As is the case with these things everything is running a bit late. I'm playing music outside as the guests are seated. I go to check up on what's happening and he's at the entrance to the venue.


MC: "Ok guys the bride is nearly ready, she says she'll be a few minutes."


Me: "Good" to piper: "Listen mate, it's really loud where I'm positioned so can you give me a cue or something so I know you're ready to start and I'll kill the music."


Piper: "What? are we ready to go?"


Me: "The MC just said she'll be down in a minute."


Piper: "When?"


Me: "2 seconds ago when we were both standing here!!!"


Piper: "Ah ok. Does she want me to stand out in the middle of the lawn?"


Me (now getting slightly worried that this guy has fire at his disposal): "I didn't book you mate I'm not telling you where to stand."


I go back to my decks and I hear the pipes start so I kill the music.


He pipes her in to The Skye Boat Song.


She gets to the top of the aisle.


He keeps playing The Skye Boat Song


The bride and her party stare at him.


He keeps playing The Skye Boat song.


The bride walks down the aisle.


To the Piper playing The Skye Boat song.


I bin the cued up bespoke track she's specifically asked me to play for her walking down the aisle.


END SCENE TWO


The ceremony goes off without a hitch. The humanist is great and I press the right buttons at the right time. Swish.


He pipes up and plays the bride back up the aisle. She had wanted me to play Heavy D's Now That We Found Love as she walked back up but her mum had kai boshed it so asked if I'd play it as soon as she was back up the aisle.


I hit play - some nice early 90s funky RnB starts pumping out.


I hear a weird sound.


It's only the piper standing at the far end of the lawn cracking out another tune.


I kill my music.


He butchers a bunch of tunes - I don't like the bagpipes anyway but if you're a piper getting paid you shouldn't need to start a song 3 times because you messed up the intro...


He finishes each song and I have to wait and listen for the drone to kick in to see if he's playing more.


After a while he stops and I hear nothing for a minute. I head out to the lawn. The bride and groom are having their photos taken. The piper is about 4 foot behind them, right in the shot, glued to his phone.


Me: "are you done yet mate? I need to know when to start the music so there's no dead air."


Piper (without looking up from his phone): "Nah they want me to play until X time so I've got one more."


Me: "No problem." I head back to my booth.


I hear no bagpipes. I head back out - he's still on his phone. After about 5 minutes he starts back up again - instead of playing until the time he was meant to finish he'd just decided to stop playing for 10 minutes and then play one last tune to take him up to the time he was meant to play until!


I double check with the bride if I'm good to go - she looks vaguely relieved that we can put the bagpipes away.


END SCENE THREE


The weather is gorgeous, folk are out enjoying the garden and the tunes are flowing. I've got my main rig set up for the wedding meal and evening disco in the main room. All is well with me.


Everyone piles in and the speeches are short and painless. I start playing the background music and notice that the Piper is mincing around the room, on his phone, whilst everyone is seated waiting to eat.


I'm being fed by the bride and groom so once I'm happy everything is set up to continue the music in my absence I head to the bar for my meal.


I sit next to the photographers and get chatting. They're Polish and really nice. We talk venues and war stories as you do when sitting with other suppliers. At this point I notice the Piper sitting at the opposite end of the bar. He's got a glass of red wine (we'll come back to that later) literally (and I mean LITERALLY, not I over use and misunderstand the meaning of the word literally) sitting laughing to himself - there's no book or magazine, his phone is out of his hand for the first time I've seen today - he's LITERALLY just sitting in an empty room (save for me and the 2 togs) laughing to himself.


The maitre de comes over and tells me I'll have to move as the table I'm at is saved for the public later on. He says they can only hold 2 tables for suppliers but it's OK, I'll sit with the Piper instead of being on my own for dinner.