Originally Posted by
Jim - Scotland's Party DJ
All day wedding yesterday which was brilliant except for the really weird, quite scary at points, piper.
It's really long but if you want the 2nd part of it I'll post that up too:
So today's gig is a full day wedding. I'll be playing music for guests arriving, ceremony, drinks, meal, reception etc...
I get there in plenty of time as the bride is hoping to have the ceremony outside and that means added jiggery pockery set up wise to make it happen.
I get there, the sun is splitting the sky, I get my outdoor rig set up, change into my performing gear and all is well.
The celebrant introduces himself and we're going over the finer details of how the ceremony will play out - he'll give me a cue when to kill the music to do his intro and so on.
At this point the piper is mulling around in the background on his phone. I call over to him - "So the bride's changed things up a bit - you've to pipe her from the front door down to the top of the aisle and then I'll play the song she wants to walk down the aisle to.
Piper - "OK, what song does she want me to play?"
"I don't know mate hasn't she told you?"
Back to his phone "well yeah but I've not checked any of her e-mails" (this is about 5 minutes before the expected start time)
piper "OK so she wants me to play the Skye Boat Song as she comes in..."
"Yeah and then you stop at the top of the aisle and I'll start the music she wants to go down the aisle to. And then she says you're piping her back up the aisle."
piper "OK, and what does she want me to play her back up the aisle to?"
"I don't know mate - I'm not the one that's booked you..."
Piper goes back to his phone: "ah right, ok, got it now."
The celebrant is now looking at me with a WTF expression on his face.
Piper: "So what's the plan?"
"You play her down to the top of the aisle then stop, I then play the tune she's asked to walk down the aisle to. You then pipe her back up the aisle and then I start playing party tunes."
Piper: "OK"
Me: "when do the flames go off btw?"
Piper: "flames?"
Me: "Yeah,, she said you shoot flames out of your pipes, I want to see that."
Piper: "I've to do the flames?"
Me: "Mate I'm just the DJ I didn't book you but she said you're doing the flames."
Piper goes back to his phone: "Ah right, I better get my flames ready"
END SCENE ONE
As is the case with these things everything is running a bit late. I'm playing music outside as the guests are seated. I go to check up on what's happening and he's at the entrance to the venue.
MC: "Ok guys the bride is nearly ready, she says she'll be a few minutes."
Me: "Good" to piper: "Listen mate, it's really loud where I'm positioned so can you give me a cue or something so I know you're ready to start and I'll kill the music."
Piper: "What? are we ready to go?"
Me: "The MC just said she'll be down in a minute."
Piper: "When?"
Me: "2 seconds ago when we were both standing here!!!"
Piper: "Ah ok. Does she want me to stand out in the middle of the lawn?"
Me (now getting slightly worried that this guy has fire at his disposal): "I didn't book you mate I'm not telling you where to stand."
I go back to my decks and I hear the pipes start so I kill the music.
He pipes her in to The Skye Boat Song.
She gets to the top of the aisle.
He keeps playing The Skye Boat Song
The bride and her party stare at him.
He keeps playing The Skye Boat song.
The bride walks down the aisle.
To the Piper playing The Skye Boat song.
I bin the cued up bespoke track she's specifically asked me to play for her walking down the aisle.
END SCENE TWO
The ceremony goes off without a hitch. The humanist is great and I press the right buttons at the right time. Swish.
He pipes up and plays the bride back up the aisle. She had wanted me to play Heavy D's Now That We Found Love as she walked back up but her mum had kai boshed it so asked if I'd play it as soon as she was back up the aisle.
I hit play - some nice early 90s funky RnB starts pumping out.
I hear a weird sound.
It's only the piper standing at the far end of the lawn cracking out another tune.
I kill my music.
He butchers a bunch of tunes - I don't like the bagpipes anyway but if you're a piper getting paid you shouldn't need to start a song 3 times because you messed up the intro...
He finishes each song and I have to wait and listen for the drone to kick in to see if he's playing more.
After a while he stops and I hear nothing for a minute. I head out to the lawn. The bride and groom are having their photos taken. The piper is about 4 foot behind them, right in the shot, glued to his phone.
Me: "are you done yet mate? I need to know when to start the music so there's no dead air."
Piper (without looking up from his phone): "Nah they want me to play until X time so I've got one more."
Me: "No problem." I head back to my booth.
I hear no bagpipes. I head back out - he's still on his phone. After about 5 minutes he starts back up again - instead of playing until the time he was meant to finish he'd just decided to stop playing for 10 minutes and then play one last tune to take him up to the time he was meant to play until!
I double check with the bride if I'm good to go - she looks vaguely relieved that we can put the bagpipes away.
END SCENE THREE
The weather is gorgeous, folk are out enjoying the garden and the tunes are flowing. I've got my main rig set up for the wedding meal and evening disco in the main room. All is well with me.
Everyone piles in and the speeches are short and painless. I start playing the background music and notice that the Piper is mincing around the room, on his phone, whilst everyone is seated waiting to eat.
I'm being fed by the bride and groom so once I'm happy everything is set up to continue the music in my absence I head to the bar for my meal.
I sit next to the photographers and get chatting. They're Polish and really nice. We talk venues and war stories as you do when sitting with other suppliers. At this point I notice the Piper sitting at the opposite end of the bar. He's got a glass of red wine (we'll come back to that later) literally (and I mean LITERALLY, not I over use and misunderstand the meaning of the word literally) sitting laughing to himself - there's no book or magazine, his phone is out of his hand for the first time I've seen today - he's LITERALLY just sitting in an empty room (save for me and the 2 togs) laughing to himself.
The maitre de comes over and tells me I'll have to move as the table I'm at is saved for the public later on. He says they can only hold 2 tables for suppliers but it's OK, I'll sit with the Piper instead of being on my own for dinner.