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Thread: Good Gig, Bad Gig.

  1. #4131

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    Can't wait to hear about your crazy piper.

    It's been a tough weekend here. For some reason I don't have any Friday gigs in September, but I have lots of Saturday, Sunday and Monday night weddings instead!! This weekend has had a pair of them.

    Saturday night saw me on the SS Great Britain. Always tricky for access, but even worse as they closed the access road to it for the Bikes... I had to load in Kit on Friday and then walk a mile to the ship before the gig and then a mile to get my car at the end. 32 guests total, mostly young. Tricky crowd, but made it to the end with most of them there and got good feedback Sun morning.

    Sunday night, working under an agency at a local hotel. Agency gave me the wrong first dance song (and I didn't check with the B&G - yes, probably should of). Bit of a comedy moment though as the B&G couldn't remember what it was supposed to be. Very rude guests who couldn't be bothered to stand for either the cake cutting or the first dance. I'm booked to 1:00am and the rude B&G seem to think it's OK to let me play on to an empty room while they sit outside listening to tunes on their phones. I've been doing this since about 11:30 and the hotel can't let me go until the B&G go to bed.

    On the plus side the Hog roast guys where nice and I got a good slice of Pork.

    Here's to a better one next week...

    Julian
    http://www.bristoldiscohire.co.uk - Quality Disco and Equipment hire for Bristol & Bath
    Weddings, Birthday Parties, Kids Parties, School Disco's and more
    https://julianburr.co.uk - Wedding, Family, Portrait and Product Photography

  2. #4132
    Dinosaur Excalibur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ppentertainments View Post
    Friday I had one of my most boring, difficult disco with absolutely no atmosphere all night

    Sunday I get a long email saying how great Friday night was and that I was fantastic, all the guests commented on what a great night and so different to the usual wedding discos.

    Go figure !
    Snap, Chris. Exactly the same, except 24 hours later.

    Quote Originally Posted by Excalibur View Post

    Isn't it funny how you spot all the tracks you think you should have played as you finish? I thought it was a below par performance from me. Birthday boy and wife were very happy, so not that bad. Now the funny bit.

    Young lad from behind the bar came up and shook my hand, said I was really good. As I packed up and left, many folk thanked and complimented me.

    Funny old game, isn't it?


    Quote Originally Posted by juski View Post
    In all that time only 5 requests were offered & all of them got played (and all came with "do you take requests?" Well DUH I said as much in my intro didn't I?!).
    Many times per hour for over two hours. First words from an adult: " Do you take requests " ?
    Excalibur. Older than the average DJ.

    www.excaliburmobiledisco.co.uk

  3. #4133

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    Quote Originally Posted by Excalibur View Post
    Many times per hour for over two hours. First words from an adult: " Do you take requests " ?
    Makes me wonder how many DJs they've come across that have flat line refused to take any requests??

  4. #4134

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    Quote Originally Posted by Excalibur View Post
    Snap, Chris. Exactly the same, except 24 hours later.







    Many times per hour for over two hours. First words from an adult: " Do you take requests " ?
    My favourite one is when a bride or groom comes over to ask if I've got a microphone. Oh, did you somehow miss my announcement which led into your first dance - or did you just assume it was pre-recorded?

  5. #4135

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim - Scotland's Party DJ View Post
    All day wedding yesterday which was brilliant except for the really weird, quite scary at points, piper.

    It's really long but if you want the 2nd part of it I'll post that up too:



    So today's gig is a full day wedding. I'll be playing music for guests arriving, ceremony, drinks, meal, reception etc...


    I get there in plenty of time as the bride is hoping to have the ceremony outside and that means added jiggery pockery set up wise to make it happen.


    I get there, the sun is splitting the sky, I get my outdoor rig set up, change into my performing gear and all is well.


    The celebrant introduces himself and we're going over the finer details of how the ceremony will play out - he'll give me a cue when to kill the music to do his intro and so on.


    At this point the piper is mulling around in the background on his phone. I call over to him - "So the bride's changed things up a bit - you've to pipe her from the front door down to the top of the aisle and then I'll play the song she wants to walk down the aisle to.


    Piper - "OK, what song does she want me to play?"


    "I don't know mate hasn't she told you?"


    Back to his phone "well yeah but I've not checked any of her e-mails" (this is about 5 minutes before the expected start time)


    piper "OK so she wants me to play the Skye Boat Song as she comes in..."


    "Yeah and then you stop at the top of the aisle and I'll start the music she wants to go down the aisle to. And then she says you're piping her back up the aisle."


    piper "OK, and what does she want me to play her back up the aisle to?"


    "I don't know mate - I'm not the one that's booked you..."


    Piper goes back to his phone: "ah right, ok, got it now."


    The celebrant is now looking at me with a WTF expression on his face.


    Piper: "So what's the plan?"


    "You play her down to the top of the aisle then stop, I then play the tune she's asked to walk down the aisle to. You then pipe her back up the aisle and then I start playing party tunes."


    Piper: "OK"


    Me: "when do the flames go off btw?"


    Piper: "flames?"


    Me: "Yeah,, she said you shoot flames out of your pipes, I want to see that."


    Piper: "I've to do the flames?"


    Me: "Mate I'm just the DJ I didn't book you but she said you're doing the flames."


    Piper goes back to his phone: "Ah right, I better get my flames ready"


    END SCENE ONE


    As is the case with these things everything is running a bit late. I'm playing music outside as the guests are seated. I go to check up on what's happening and he's at the entrance to the venue.


    MC: "Ok guys the bride is nearly ready, she says she'll be a few minutes."


    Me: "Good" to piper: "Listen mate, it's really loud where I'm positioned so can you give me a cue or something so I know you're ready to start and I'll kill the music."


    Piper: "What? are we ready to go?"


    Me: "The MC just said she'll be down in a minute."


    Piper: "When?"


    Me: "2 seconds ago when we were both standing here!!!"


    Piper: "Ah ok. Does she want me to stand out in the middle of the lawn?"


    Me (now getting slightly worried that this guy has fire at his disposal): "I didn't book you mate I'm not telling you where to stand."


    I go back to my decks and I hear the pipes start so I kill the music.


    He pipes her in to The Skye Boat Song.


    She gets to the top of the aisle.


    He keeps playing The Skye Boat Song


    The bride and her party stare at him.


    He keeps playing The Skye Boat song.


    The bride walks down the aisle.


    To the Piper playing The Skye Boat song.


    I bin the cued up bespoke track she's specifically asked me to play for her walking down the aisle.


    END SCENE TWO


    The ceremony goes off without a hitch. The humanist is great and I press the right buttons at the right time. Swish.


    He pipes up and plays the bride back up the aisle. She had wanted me to play Heavy D's Now That We Found Love as she walked back up but her mum had kai boshed it so asked if I'd play it as soon as she was back up the aisle.


    I hit play - some nice early 90s funky RnB starts pumping out.


    I hear a weird sound.


    It's only the piper standing at the far end of the lawn cracking out another tune.


    I kill my music.


    He butchers a bunch of tunes - I don't like the bagpipes anyway but if you're a piper getting paid you shouldn't need to start a song 3 times because you messed up the intro...


    He finishes each song and I have to wait and listen for the drone to kick in to see if he's playing more.


    After a while he stops and I hear nothing for a minute. I head out to the lawn. The bride and groom are having their photos taken. The piper is about 4 foot behind them, right in the shot, glued to his phone.


    Me: "are you done yet mate? I need to know when to start the music so there's no dead air."


    Piper (without looking up from his phone): "Nah they want me to play until X time so I've got one more."


    Me: "No problem." I head back to my booth.


    I hear no bagpipes. I head back out - he's still on his phone. After about 5 minutes he starts back up again - instead of playing until the time he was meant to finish he'd just decided to stop playing for 10 minutes and then play one last tune to take him up to the time he was meant to play until!


    I double check with the bride if I'm good to go - she looks vaguely relieved that we can put the bagpipes away.


    END SCENE THREE


    The weather is gorgeous, folk are out enjoying the garden and the tunes are flowing. I've got my main rig set up for the wedding meal and evening disco in the main room. All is well with me.


    Everyone piles in and the speeches are short and painless. I start playing the background music and notice that the Piper is mincing around the room, on his phone, whilst everyone is seated waiting to eat.


    I'm being fed by the bride and groom so once I'm happy everything is set up to continue the music in my absence I head to the bar for my meal.


    I sit next to the photographers and get chatting. They're Polish and really nice. We talk venues and war stories as you do when sitting with other suppliers. At this point I notice the Piper sitting at the opposite end of the bar. He's got a glass of red wine (we'll come back to that later) literally (and I mean LITERALLY, not I over use and misunderstand the meaning of the word literally) sitting laughing to himself - there's no book or magazine, his phone is out of his hand for the first time I've seen today - he's LITERALLY just sitting in an empty room (save for me and the 2 togs) laughing to himself.


    The maitre de comes over and tells me I'll have to move as the table I'm at is saved for the public later on. He says they can only hold 2 tables for suppliers but it's OK, I'll sit with the Piper instead of being on my own for dinner.
    Get on with part 2 man, I am gripped here. Please of course.

  6. #4136
    ukpartydj's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by little al View Post
    Get on with part 2 man, I am gripped here. Please of course.
    I second that opinion and wonder when "the wedding piper" will be showing in cinemas.

    Dorset DJ - Dorset based DJ service
    11:11 EVENTS LTD - 11:11 EVENTS LTD

  7. #4137

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    I'm now wondering if we should (or shouldn't) be scouring Scottish news wesbites for terms like "freak bagpipe explosion"....

  8. #4138
    Jim - Scotland's Party DJ's Avatar
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    Lol I'll get on with it later
    didn't want to be presumptuous and post both parts incase no one cared.

    It gets weird.

  9. #4139
    Jim - Scotland's Party DJ's Avatar
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    This is the point I start trying to work out what drugs the guy is on. He's too lucid to be drunk but he's too off the rails to be stoned. He's off his ing rocker but I'm not getting the vibe it's a legal high unless it's something I've never seen anyone on before.



    He stops laughing at / to / with himself, joins me and puts out his hand for me to shake it:



    "Hey, I'm *insert name here*, the Piper."



    I've been speaking to him with regular occurrence for 5 hours at this point...



    He puts his phone on the table, youtube's Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On and then watches it whilst laughing away to himself again.



    The photographers are looking at me with the same "WTF???" expression the humanist had earlier on.



    Me: "So are you piping them into the room for the first dance?"



    Piper: "No man, I'm done, I just thought I'd hang around and get some free food."



    A waiter comes round to take out order. As he does he lightly brushes against the Piper by accident.



    *this is to the best of my recollection a verbatim of the conversation that followed*


    Piper: "ing ."



    Me: "It was an accident man, chill out."



    Piper is now in full on stream of conscious gonzo rant mode:



    Piper: "I used to give the finger to kids and verbally abuse the grandparents at wedding but it never worked out."



    Me: "What, as like an act?"



    Piper: "No, I just realised people don't like you being rude to them at a wedding."



    cue awkward silence 1.



    Piper then gets on his phone and starts VERY LOUDLY in a token code discussing how he's going to get sorted for weed later - the restaurant is now about 80% full at this point and I'm not convinced it's weed he's on at present.



    Piper hangs up his phone. "Yeah so I come to Scotland 90 days each Summer."



    Me: "For the festival?" (Edinburgh festival)



    Piper (noticeably irate): "NO ING WAY MAN, I DETEST THAT!!! They charge you to play on the street, they can't do that man, it's eroding people's rights to express themselves through music - you have to pay and if you try to play without a licence they have private security guards to chase you away."



    Me: "OK - I head through there every year - if they didn't do that, you wouldn't be able to move for folk performing on the street,"



    Piper: "No man, they have no right, it's illegal to do that. I dunno about over here but in the US that's an erosion of your civil rights and liberties....." (at this point he went on some long winded yarn about the ins and outs of legally being able to pipe at the Edinburgh Festival culminating in: "I hate the whole ing charade of it, I'm not paying to express myself musically on the street."



    He's got the sense that the photographers are laughing at him - they are. I'm waiting on the ghost of Jeremy Beadle to pop out of somewhere.



    Piper: "I mean I applied for a licence there this year and got told they were full of pipers but then I checked it out and there were only 2 guys rotating shifts all day."



    I was beyond the point of questioning why he's just went on a rant about how he wanted no part of the festival as the commercialisation of it sickened him to his core but was applying to perform at it...



    We exchange a fairly uncomfortable silence. It's preferable to conversing with him.



    Piper after a few minutes: "I mean they're selling public land to the public at the Edinburgh Festival and everyone just let's it happen. That's how the New World Order begins - people start giving up their rights.



    I pretend I'm reading an e-mail on my phone. The waiting staff are now laughing at him.



    He decides to take a change of tack: "So yeah I'm quite high up in the Yes movement (Scottish Independence). I lead the marches and stuff."



    I pretend to reply to my pretend e-mail.



    Piper: "Do you support Scottish independence?"



    I can't not bite at this. I campaigned with all my might against independence and even received a death threat for my troubles. A death threat given I'm still here but a death threat none the less.



    Me: "Not a chance mate."



    Piper: "Why not?"



    Me: "I'm not going into it but it's a terrible idea - everyone's up in arms about Brexit because of how that will negatively affect the UK, which I voted against by the way, Scottish independence is a microcosm of that. We live in a globalised world - breaking alliances and creating borders is ridiculous."



    We share another good few minutes of awkward silence following that one. I then realise I've seen him on a facebook post - he actually led a recent independence march and then turned up at Ibrox stadium - the home of a staunchly Unionist team and set of fans, a few hours later busking!



    I'm starting to wonder if this is what awkward grindr dates are like when he chirps up:



    "Can we go back in?"



    Me: "What?"



    Piper: "Can we go back in?"



    Me: "to the function suite?"



    Piper: "Yeah."



    Me: "They're in the middle of dinner pal - no."



    Piper: "Yeah but I was having a conversation with someone and then I got told I had to leave because everyone was eating."



    I had run out of steam by this point so we sat quietly until he got up and walked away, laughing to himself, again, I shoveled down my lasagne and headed back behind my booth in the ceremony room so I didn't have to deal with him any more.



    END SCENE FOUR



    The guests start slowly filtering in for the first dance. I use this time as an opportunity to go around and introduce myself, have a chat and break the ice with folk and so on. I get chatting with the first group in and they ask me how my day was going.


    Me: "Great until I had to have dinner with the Piper."



    They started laughing.



    GROUP: "He's a psycho."



    Me: "well I never like to denigrate a fellow wedding supplier but....."



    It turns out the "conversation" he'd been having was with one of the ladies there and went something along the lines of:



    GROUP ARE ALL SITTING DOWN FOR THE MEAL



    PIPER ROCKS UP



    "Is anyone sitting here?" *points to a chair*



    Lady: "Yeah that's my husbands seat."



    Piper: "He's not here just now though." plonks himself down on the chair, opens a bottle of wine that was laid out for the table and pours himself a glass.



    It was at this point the master of ceremonies told him to get out as the meal was taking place.



    END SCENE FOUR



    It was a great night. I got loads of amazing feedback even from the tunes at the meal and I got to play around with my wireless mood lights. As things are reaching a conclusion I hunt down the bride to let her know there's only a few tunes left so not to go far.



    I ask her how her day has been and she says great though the piper was a nightmare.



    I give her an abridged version of my dealings with him and say I'm glad he disappeared after he'd been fed.



    No no no - it turns out he wasn't quite ready to leave after being fed a meal he want's meant to get and stealing booze from the guests - the bride's mother had to get a hold of him and tell him to go home because he had overstayed his welcome.



    Nuts

  10. #4140

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    Oh wow. So how did they find him and book him in the first place. Do you know?

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