Website Redesign!

[discomobiledj]

The enquiry form is strictly that with Mr Site, the actual page is not editable (bar the actual form). Mr Site is great for beginners but it does have alot of limitations.

[Ryu]

I agree with pretty much everything Vectis has said.



No, it's just an enquiry form!

My own contact page has not only an enquiry form, but an address, a landline number, a mobile number and an email link. Now THAT'S a contact page!

Thought I fixed some Vectis suggestions last night...

Agree about getting some people dancing pics and a specific wedding page.

I think the contacts page is editable, I can certainly add in more details in text, that's for sure.

Thanks for the continued feedback, I have a busy website editing weekend ahead.

[Goodfellows Discos]

Possibly a change of the text colour on the banner? Try a more subtle grey that would defo work with the rest of the template.

Also:

Harlequin Roadshow is a Mobile Disco, managed by Terry and Ryan Dale, a Father and Son team who have together over 30 years of DJing experience, catering for literally thousands of parties for literally hundreds of different occasions, Birthdays, Office Parties, College Balls, Charity events, Theme Nights and with a special emphasis on Weddings.

Would definitely scrap that ender - reading it myself makes me feel unworthy of booking you as a client. I wish I had special emphasis on my birthday , it's a shame its just for weddings like you said. Totally reformed your paragraph:

Managed by father and son team Terry and Ryan Dale, Harlequin Roadshow is a mobile disco catering for any type of event. With over 30 years of DJing experience between them, you can be sure that your event, be it a Birthday, Office Party, College Ball, Charity Event, Theme Night or Wedding will be emphasised to a special and unique level.

Also, try and stick the whole of the website in one perspective. Your homepage is in third person but the rest of your pages are in first. Typically, content written in third person seems more professional to a client's point of view.

Alex

[Ryu]

Possibly a change of the text colour on the banner? Try a more subtle grey that would defo work with the rest of the template.

Also:



Would definitely scrap that ender - reading it myself makes me feel unworthy of booking you as a client. I wish I had special emphasis on my birthday , it's a shame its just for weddings like you said. Totally reformed your paragraph:



Also, try and stick the whole of the website in one perspective. Your homepage is in third person but the rest of your pages are in first. Typically, content written in third person seems more professional to a client's point of view.

Alex

Thanks Alex.

Not sure I agree with you entirely on the wording issue, I don't think it suggests we give less service to non wedding events, I DO think I need to drop the ender all together though, and show our wedding focus on an additional page (as suggested by Charlie ), given the purpose of the opening paragraph is to emphasise our experience, the ender is out of place, thanks for spotting that.

[Goodfellows Discos]

Thanks Alex.

Not sure I agree with you entirely on the wording issue, I don't think it suggests we give less service to non wedding events, I DO think I need to drop the ender all together though, and show our wedding focus on an additional page (as suggested by Charlie ), given the purpose of the opening paragraph is to emphasise our experience, the ender is out of place, thanks for spotting that.

Ahh, I had the impression you wanted to keep the phrase "special emphasis" so I constructed a quick paragraph on how else you could say it - I get what you mean though.

Having seperate events on each pages is a great idea - you can sell your heart out advertising whatever the website visitor is looking for, and it won't seem that you prefer doing a particular event, eg weddings.

Alex

[rob1963]

Harlequin Roadshow is a Mobile Disco, managed by Terry and Ryan Dale, a Father and Son team who have together over 30 years of DJing experience, catering for literally thousands of parties for literally hundreds of different occasions, Birthdays, Office Parties, College Balls, Charity events, Theme Nights and with a special emphasis on Weddings.

I'm not keen on this text.

Firstly, the word literally is used for a second time too quickly after it appears for the first time.

Secondly, I agree that the phrase "special emphasis on weddings" makes it sound like other occasions aren't treated with the same care.

Finally, you talk about having done discos for "literally hundreds of different occasions"...but ARE there hundreds of different occasions? I can't even think of 25, let alone hundreds.

[Goodfellows Discos]

Finally, you talk about having done discos for "literally hundreds of different occasions"...but ARE there hundreds of different occasions? I can't even think of 25, let alone hundreds.

18th Birthday, 19th Birthday, 20th Birthday*some time later*78th Birthday, 79th Birthday. Hey don't let me get started on all of these stupid years people decide to have wedding anniversaries on now days!

On Topic:

Your mailto on the contact form doesn't lead anywhere: correct link should be 'mailto:[email protected]'. I know i'm just picking on petty things here, but it's so much better to take note of them now instead of never noticing it.

Alex

[Ryu]

Harlequin Roadshow is a Mobile Disco, managed by Terry and Ryan Dale, a Father and Son team who have together over 30 years of DJing experience, catering for literally thousands of parties for literally hundreds of different occasions, Birthdays, Office Parties, College Balls, Charity events, Theme Nights and with a special emphasis on Weddings.

I'm not keen on this text.

Firstly, the word literally is used for a second time too quickly after it appears for the first time.

Secondly, I agree that the phrase "special emphasis on weddings" makes it sound like other occasions aren't treated with the same care.

Finally, you talk about having done discos for "literally hundreds of different occasions"...but ARE there hundreds of different occasions? I can't even think of 25, let alone hundreds.

I think its safe to say the opening paragraph could do with a rework

Thanks for the ongoing suggestions...Its all useful stuff.

[Ryu]

There's a few more amendments made...Opening paragraph edited, Headers removed (Mr Site was being really annoying about making them white!)

Just wish I could space that contact form a little more uniform-ly.

[rob1963]

18th Birthday, 19th Birthday, 20th Birthday*some time later*78th Birthday, 79th Birthday. Hey don't let me get started on all of these stupid years people decide to have wedding anniversaries on now days!

And how many of us have done discos for a 19th birthday party, a 20th birthday party, a 78th birthday party or a 79th birthday party?

I've been in this game for over 25 years, and would struggle to come up with 25 different occasions I've worked at, let alone hundreds, as stated on the website up for review.