Don't tell Rob!
Sssssh. Don't let the cat out of the bag, but I've got hold of a transcript of Rob's efforts on the weakest link.The boy done good, but he seems to have fallen foul of the other contestants.
Anne: What’s your name, and what do you do?
Rob: I’m Rob James, and I’m a quizmaster and DJ?!!!
Anne: So you’re like Stephen Fry spinning the platters that matter, on the wheels of steel?
Rob: Er no. Stephen Fry knows the answers. I just read them.
Anne: And then you put the records on?
Rob: Er no Anne, I don’t use records. I’m fully digital.
Anne: You just use your finger?
Rob: Sort of, all the tracks are on my ipod, and I just type in what I want, and it appears.
Anne: So if I used my ipod for a party, I could have exactly the same as you provide, but without the same old cheesy DJ patter, the talking incessant garbage, the verbal diarrhoea and inane drivel we’ve come to expect from DJ’s?
Rob: Er, no Anne, you could have exactly the same as I offer, because I never say anything at my discos. I let the music do the talking. The difference would be that I provide lights.
Anne: The wonders of modern technology. I bet you get all your music free from file sharing sites.
Rob: Oh no Anne, the lads and lasses at MDD would lose the respect, reverence and admiration they show for me on a regular basis if I were to do that. And I’ve got my Produb as well.
Anne: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Rob: Sorry Anne, that’s usually what happens when I mention the P word.
Anne: I’m not surprised. But you weren’t always such an upright and righteous citizen, were you? I believe you were once a Pirate.
Rob: Arrrrrrrrrrrr shiver me timbers, buckets of blood, fifteen men on a dead man’s chest........
Anne: Enough already, Bluebeard. Don’t overdo it. Right Mr Quizmaster, let’s see how you do with the questions when you haven’t got the answers written down. What was the name of King Arthur’s sword?
Rob: ( Grinning) Excalibur.
Anne: Correct. What’s the old name for Cornwall?
Rob: ( Bigger grin) Kernow.
Anne: Correct. What’s the plural of entertainment?
Rob: ( Ear to ear grin) Entertainment.
Anne: Correct, well done. Most folk get that wrong. What’s the old name for the Isle of Wight?
Rob: ( Gibbering uncontrollably) Vectis.
Anne: Correct. Rob, you’re just a smartarse, aren’t you? However, in this game, it’s votes that count, so Rob-You are the weakest link. Goodbye.
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