Do we need to educate the bride and grooms'?

[Vectis]

in this situation i also let people see me keep looking at a sheet of paper so that people can see that i am following a playlist.

If anyone hassles you about the music when you're on a strict rubbish playlist, give them the piece of paper and a pen and ask them to tick the ones they want played.

9 times out of 10 this results in the host being hassled by the perturbed guest and the nod to play something else


I think some of the comments on this thread are bordering on arrogant. The customer is king. You are there to service their requirements. You can advise all you like, but if they tell you to play Bo Rap on a loop all night then that's what you do. Don't go bitching about it over the mic all night either. Agreeing to a playlist then deviating from it is going to do your reputation much more harm than refusing a few requests.

When I'm in this situation, I give a quick intro speech over a loop or a long lead-in and wave a clutch of paper around as I tell the assembled, half jokingly, that tonight we're playing the B+Gs request list. Once is enough unless you get a sudden influx of new guests later on.

[Shakermaker Promotions]

I always make it clear over the microphone either right at the beginning when I say hello and introduce myself or just after the first dance that I will be playing a lot of the Bride & Groom's favourite music. Something like this....

"Good evening ladies and gents. I hope you've had a great day today celebrating (for example) James & Lauras special day. I'll be playing a lot of their favourite music this evening as well as yours so please let me know if there is anything that you would like to listen to. Have a great night".

I find that saying this early on gets the message across clearly when everyone is listening and it encourages people to come up. If there are any dubious requests then I let the person know there and then that I am using a songlist from the Bride and Groom and will try to get their song in where possible. Most of the time, If I am playing (example) a couple of Motown songs from the B&G's list and someone comes up and asks for something that would work with it, I will play it almost immediately which gives the impression that I will actually listen and play what people want and it is appreciated by who requested it.

What I do find funny is that if you start off with the older stuff, sometimes you will get some of the twenty-something's come up and say "Haven't you got anything new?"....I'll explain then that I am working through the list and will play some more up to date stuff shortly.

I always tell my customers that I am not a mind reader. I actually make a joke and say that I am not Derren Brown so that's why I encourage requests. I also tell them that we can't MAKE people dance. If they don't want to, they won't. Simple as that. Some B&G's (in my experience) think that we are wizards and can actually magic everyone into dancing. They expect a packed dancefloor all night and more often than not, it doesn't happen. The biggest thing I put across is that a successful night is down to the guests. If they are up for it then it will be a good night. If you play what people want and they still don't get up then what can you do except stand there, try to egg them on and secretly, under your breath...think, what is going on?

Educating the B&G's is a good idea although it could be put better. Obviously, most B&G's have been to parties before and experienced Mobile Discos. Some of them have seen (what they report as) really bad ones so I ask what was bad about it or why did they think it was bad and the comments back are interesting. Most of them will say, we just want everyone to have a good time and that's the way to be. Why (example) ask for Rock music all night because it's the B&G's favourite genre of music when the majority at the function will not be into it and therefore sit there all night looking bored and wondering if the DJ actually has a clue about what he is doing. This goes back to advertising yourself again at every function.

If a B&G want "everyone to enjoy themselves" then they will understand that their favourite music tastes may not be everyone elses and that they will want everyone at the end of the night to say they had a good night and not that they had to sit there all night and listen to stuff they didn't like. That's a bit like me being invited to a wedding or birthday party where the music played all night is R&B and no variety.

Lastly, there has to be a bit of leniency (sp?)... I can count on one finger the amount of times I have had a B&G not be lenient and I have had to stick to what they want. Yes, it is them paying for me but it goes back to thinking of the guests too. On this occasion the comment was "It's our night and we want what we like" which again, is fair comment but in reality, their function could have been a lot better. They specifically told me "Please, NO Cheese (Cha Cha Slide etc) and definitely NO Abba under no circumstances. At this function there were a lot of middle-aged women requesting Abba and they were pretty miffed when I didn't play any because I was under strict instructions not to. If the B&G had been a bit lenient and said "Well if someone asks for it then play it but don't go out of your way" then it would have been easier but it wasn't the case. It is now one of the questions I always ask at meetings...."How lenient are you on the music you don't like if someone requests it?"...I try to get across the fact that they should want all of their guests to enjoy themselves.

Phew! Sorry, that was a bit longer than I expected.

[Excalibur]

If anyone hassles you about the music when you're on a strict rubbish playlist, give them the piece of paper and a pen and ask them to tick the ones they want played.

9 times out of 10 this results in the host being hassled by the perturbed guest and the nod to play something else


I think some of the comments on this thread are bordering on arrogant. The customer is king. You are there to service their requirements. You can advise all you like, but if they tell you to play Bo Rap on a loop all night then that's what you do. Don't go bitching about it over the mic all night either. Agreeing to a playlist then deviating from it is going to do your reputation much more harm than refusing a few requests.

When I'm in this situation, I give a quick intro speech over a loop or a long lead-in and wave a clutch of paper around as I tell the assembled, half jokingly, that tonight we're playing the B+Gs request list. Once is enough unless you get a sudden influx of new guests later on.

Bitching, no. Informing, yes. And sound enthusiastic about it, too.

"Once you can fake sincerity, you've got it cracked"

Phew! Sorry, that was a bit longer than I expected.

But not longer than we expected.
Gary, I'm very broadly in agreement with your views and practices on this matter.

[Shakermaker Promotions]

[QUOTE=Excalibur;467126]
But not longer than we expected.
QUOTE]

Well, I just thought I would get all of my points across in one go and then I may not have to reply again....but no doubt I will

[rob1963]

I like to point the bride & groom in the right general direction with their music choices by enclosing a list of my top 120 requested songs ("to give them some ideas") with my request form.

This works well, as most of them write lots of these top songs on the request form. As well as completing the request form, quite a few of them also return my top 120 requested songs list itself...with loads of the songs on there circled, starred or highlighted, so I rarely have problems with clients requesting songs which don't seem appropriate.

[Shaun]

Moving to Weddings forum.

[Corabar Steve]

Are you serious, Steve?

If so, how many times have you done that at weddings?

Presumably it's something you do a lot if it works very well?

I see you're trying to twist my words again Robbo, but I'll ignore that this once & address the point I was making.

If any client of ours wanted a "decades" format, I wouldn't have a problem with it purely because there are enough different genres in a 10 year period (as well as the mainstream pop from that era) to be able to give a varied & danceable set for each decade.

For example, in the 60s set you could play mini sets of Rock 'n' Roll, Soul (of the Stax/Motown variety), Ska, Beat groups/British Invasion, & more upbeat Hippie era tracks, to name just a few different types.

I could go on for the other decades, but I won't, as any good DJ shouldn't need telling what genres go with what eras.

As long as you make it clear to the other guests that it's what the client wants, there should be no problem. Nobody should be able to get too bored with what's being played, because no one genre would be being played for much longer than 10 - 12 minutes at a time. The only people that it might upset are the "Have you got anything new? / Got any R&B/Garage mate?" brigade & even they should be able to understand that if it's what the B&G want on their big day then it's their prerogative to do so.

Work in the big &/or cheesey tracks from each era / genre & you'll have a great night.

I know I'm good enough to pull it off, & a DJ with your amount of experience should be able to also (any good DJ with a varied collection could).

Yes there are occasions that the B&G's choices won't work & if (after discussion with the DJ) they are adamant that it's what they want, they should be made aware that it may not work & that it may be necessary to abandon their plan at some point should it flop. If they still want to go ahead regardless, you have 2 options, either don't take the booking, or grit your teeth, get on with it & (if you're worried about your reputation) don't advertise/self publicise yourself during the event.

I've done a number of gigs that had even tighter restrictions than sticking to a particular era for an hour. For example 2 weddings that all that was required was Rock & Disco & another that wanted Rock & Cheesey Pop. Even within those genre constraints here was enough variety to make an enjoyable evening from it. (for example, Bon Jovi, Status Quo, RHCP, & the Darkness, vs the Nolans, Abba, Chic & Sister Sledge & those are just a few off the top of my head without really thinking about it). All 3 functions resulted in busy dancefloors all night.

In short DJ knows best, but it's the customer's function.

I like to point the bride & groom in the right general direction with their music choices by enclosing a list of my top 120 requested songs ("to give them some ideas") with my request form.

This works well, as most of them write lots of these top songs on the request form. As well as completing the request form, quite a few of them also return my top 120 requested songs list itself...with loads of the songs on there circled, starred or highlighted, so I rarely have problems with clients requesting songs which don't seem appropriate.

This just looks to me like you're trying to make life easier for yourself regardless of what the client wants. By pushing them (however subtly *see below) in the direction of your top requested songs (I'll assume you're smart enough to not include anything that doesn't work in that list), you are to a degree influencing their choice.

*"to give them some ideas", subtle, very subtle. It's easier to come up with a choice of song when you have a list in front of you than it is to come up with them off the top of your head. It's bordering on subliminal marketing. Or are you saying that your clients are incapable of choosing their own music preferences?

[yourdj]

in this situation i also let people see me keep looking at a sheet of paper so that people can see that i am following a playlist.

I will remember that and get a blank piece of paper so it looks like i am looking at a list (digital playlists).

[Shakermaker Promotions]

Good post Steve and along the same lines as what I was getting at.
Rob, I must admit that I don't like the idea of sending a list of top tunes to customers. I think that it's almost as if they are being told what you would recommend they request. Yes, it may work with some customers and a lot of what may be on your list may be on their minds already but if I were sent that list I would be thinking "Hold on, is this a list of songs we have to choose from?"... I know that's wrong and it's not the point of sending them the list but some may see it that way?

When I contacted a number of local companies to suss out the way they did things, I was surprised to see that 2 of them for example stated that the customer could choose 10 specific tracks and then the DJ would work off those. I found that pretty out of order myself. Imagine the B&G for example sat there going over their 10 tracks and either arguing about what is picked or having to miss out a few favourites because all they get is a choice of 10.

I send out a request sheet which is an A4 sheet. It has room at the top for their first dance(s) etc and then plenty of room for at least 30 requests. It also states on the sheet that they DON'T have to feel obliged to fill it up or if they don't have enough room to use the back of the form too. I also state on there that I will endeavour to play as many requests as I can from them and their guests. Of course, on the night, if someone isn't working then I will go in a different direction to get the dancefloor back on track.

It happened on saturday - I was doing a short commercial dance set. The floor was busy for various tracks and then I put on 'We speak no Americano' and it stayed busy until about half way through it and then it looked like people were getting bored so I got on the mic and said "Yes, it does go on a bit doesn't it!" and switched to something else.

[rob1963]

I see you're trying to twist my words again Robbo, but I'll ignore that this once & address the point I was making.

If any client of ours wanted a "decades" format, I wouldn't have a problem with it purely because there are enough different genres in a 10 year period (as well as the mainstream pop from that era) to be able to give a varied & danceable set for each decade.

For example, in the 60s set you could play mini sets of Rock 'n' Roll, Soul (of the Stax/Motown variety), Ska, Beat groups/British Invasion, & more upbeat Hippie era tracks, to name just a few different types.

I could go on for the other decades, but I won't, as any good DJ shouldn't need telling what genres go with what eras.

As long as you make it clear to the other guests that it's what the client wants, there should be no problem. Nobody should be able to get too bored with what's being played, because no one genre would be being played for much longer than 10 - 12 minutes at a time. The only people that it might upset are the "Have you got anything new? / Got any R&B/Garage mate?" brigade & even they should be able to understand that if it's what the B&G want on their big day then it's their prerogative to do so.

Work in the big &/or cheesey tracks from each era / genre & you'll have a great night.

I know I'm good enough to pull it off, & a DJ with your amount of experience should be able to also (any good DJ with a varied collection could).

Yes there are occasions that the B&G's choices won't work & if (after discussion with the DJ) they are adamant that it's what they want, they should be made aware that it may not work & that it may be necessary to abandon their plan at some point should it flop. If they still want to go ahead regardless, you have 2 options, either don't take the booking, or grit your teeth, get on with it & (if you're worried about your reputation) don't advertise/self publicise yourself during the event.

I've done a number of gigs that had even tighter restrictions than sticking to a particular era for an hour. For example 2 weddings that all that was required was Rock & Disco & another that wanted Rock & Cheesey Pop. Even within those genre constraints here was enough variety to make an enjoyable evening from it. (for example, Bon Jovi, Status Quo, RHCP, & the Darkness, vs the Nolans, Abba, Chic & Sister Sledge & those are just a few off the top of my head without really thinking about it). All 3 functions resulted in busy dancefloors all night.

In short DJ knows best, but it's the customer's function.

I hear what you're saying, Steve.

I'm not suggesting that I couldn't pull it off, and I'm not saying that working through the decades an hour at a time would never work, just that in the vast majority of cases things will work better if you DON'T work strictly through the decades like this.

I'm speaking from experience, as I sometimes do small sets of various eras of music, and it's not unusual for someone to come up & ask for something from a different era. If they do that when you're only playing a few songs from a particular decade they don't like, think how they'd feel if there was a whole hour's worth.

Imagine the situation. It's the beginning of the evening, and you start with the 60's songs. Someone comes up & asks for some chart stuff or something from a current group, and you reply "There's nearly an hour of 60's stuff to go, then I'm playing an hour of 70's stuff, then an hour of 80's, then 90's...so I'll be able to play some 00's stuff including your request in about 5 hours" I'm sure that would go down well...not!

This just looks to me like you're trying to make life easier for yourself regardless of what the client wants. By pushing them (however subtly *see below) in the direction of your top requested songs (I'll assume you're smart enough to not include anything that doesn't work in that list), you are to a degree influencing their choice.

*"to give them some ideas", subtle, very subtle. It's easier to come up with a choice of song when you have a list in front of you than it is to come up with them off the top of your head. It's bordering on subliminal marketing. Or are you saying that your clients are incapable of choosing their own music preferences?

I'm not trying to make life easier for myself regardless of what the customer wants at all, as I let them request as much music as they like. The top requests list is sent out with my request form, and the accompanying letter includes this: "I enclose a list of our top requested songs which may assist with your music selection, although you're obviously under no obligation to choose any of these songs if you don't want to!" I don't think it could be much clearer.

I'm very flexible with customers requests, as they can request as few or as many as they like, and time permitting I'll play everything they ask for, which is usually around 40-50 songs.

In my opinion the people who are REALLY "trying to make life easier for themselves" are the ones who only allow their client to choose a certain number of requests, which often seems to be around the 30 mark. That way, they won't have to spend so much money on any requests they don't have, the client's requests will be quicker to sort out (as there are less of them), and they know that they'll be able to spend a large part of the evening playing what THEY want to play rather than letting the customer choose if they want to. It's a bit like going into a restaurant & being told you can choose your starter & main course...but that the restaurant staff will choose your dessert!

Rob, I must admit that I don't like the idea of sending a list of top tunes to customers. I think that it's almost as if they are being told what you would recommend they request. Yes, it may work with some customers and a lot of what may be on your list may be on their minds already but if I were sent that list I would be thinking "Hold on, is this a list of songs we have to choose from?"... I know that's wrong and it's not the point of sending them the list but some may see it that way?

Gary,

I don't think they'll see it that way when my accompanying letter says "I enclose a list of our top requested songs which may assist with your music selection, although you're obviously under no obligation to choose any of these songs if you don't want to!"