My thoughts:
1. Don't bother with putting the smoke machine on as an upsell unless you have significantly fewer smoke alarms in venues in Scotland than we do down in the South West!!
2. Don't bother with the introductory discount unless you're prepared to be selling your services to clients at this rate for the next 5yrs. A better approach would be to set your standard rate at £250.00 and give an introductory discount to £175
3. I'd drop this from the bottom of your packages page : "Starting from £200 for a 5hr (cost maybe less for performances less than 5hrs)" Just leave it that you can provide custom packages to meet any need and ask people to get in touch to discuss their requirements.
4. From
http://www.hunterentertainment.co.uk/certification.php - "Insurance
s?
5. Don't bother listing out specifics of your equipment in your packages - punters won't know one light from another as long they both flash.
6. If you've got them, a few photos of what customers might actually get when they book you will help them visualise what they're "buying" and encourage people to book.
As a general point, it might be worth getting a couple of people to run through the text across the site for grammatical correctness. There's a few places where I'm not sure about the phrasing, use of punctuation and plurals (though I'm not an expert on written English).
General appearance though is fine.
Julian