Girlfriend has broke up with me after over 15 year's

[djrobentertainment]

I'm in a bad way ,it happened just before Bpm, and we were to go together but I went on my own.It's only starting to sink in, thing is I became complacent in the relationship,I believed it wouldn't happen to us,we never had any major fights and I gave her the world.So I do believe I have done nothing wrong and I'm hoping with time she will see sense and realize that I am the best for her.She was my solemate and friend ,we could of talked about anything,we have 3 boys who I love very much and they seem to be coping pretty well with things.Just wanting advice from anyone who has gone through anything similar,one thing I do know is I have to keep my mind busy.

[sweetie]

jeez, rob, don't know what to say man but stay strong for your kids and give it some time she might come back to you.
I think we all need a wake up call now and then in our relationships.

[djrobentertainment]

Thanks for the advice .It's weird when your so sure that she's your soulmate and your helpless to do anything.Went drinking for the first time in 4 years and I enjoyed it don't think I'm gonna go off the wagon but I am just gonna live my life from now on whatever happen's.

[Jason]

I'm in a bad way ,it happened just before Bpm, and we were to go together but I went on my own.It's only starting to sink in, thing is I became complacent in the relationship,I believed it wouldn't happen to us,we never had any major fights and I gave her the world.So I do believe I have done nothing wrong and I'm hoping with time she will see sense and realize that I am the best for her.She was my solemate and friend ,we could of talked about anything,we have 3 boys who I love very much and they seem to be coping pretty well with things.Just wanting advice from anyone who has gone through anything similar,one thing I do know is I have to keep my mind busy.

I'm sorry to hear this, I have a similar story.

I had a marriage break-up in 2006 (or 2005..!).
We had 2 kids, house etc. I did find it very hard and lost the plot for a few months.
I can't really comment on your relationship, but an open discussion (away from the kids/home) may lead to an understanding.

In my case, my ex had made her mind up. I suspect she had started to see someone else (who she has now married). He now has to put up with her


My story ended well, I met a great person and we were married nearly 1 year ago. My kids get on very well with her, and I'm very happy in life.

However, the first 6 months or so after the split were very difficult and I'm lucky to have a very understanding friend.


Feel free to call me for a chat if you need to (website+contact details in my sig).

What ever happens, you'll be better for the experience. When times are tough for me - I remember back to summer 2006 and think - "I'll never be as low as that again".

[Excalibur]

Sorry to hear that, Rob. Unfortunately, the Disco business does seem to put a lot of strain on relationships. I know a few folk on here who have split up, and after a very low period have found happiness again. Drink often beckons, but rarely offers a satisfactory solution. All I can say is hang on in thre, and things will pick up at some point. All the best, Rob.

[DazzyD]

Sorry to hear that, Rob. Unfortunately, the Disco business does seem to put a lot of strain on relationships. I know a few folk on here who have split up, and after a very low period have found happiness again. Drink often beckons, but rarely offers a satisfactory solution. All I can say is hang on in thre, and things will pick up at some point. All the best, Rob.

Hi Rob

I've got to agree with what Peter has said and I've been through the same thing myself. In 2009, my relationship ended. Like you, I've got 3 kids (2 boys and a girl) and the first few months were really bad. I was signed off work with depression for a while but the kids kept me focused. When I saw them, they were happy and excited to see me and we got to spend some real quality time together (which wasn't happening when I was living there and that was my biggest regret).

I was lucky in that my ex has never stopped me seeing the kids or using them as a bargaining tool. In fact, I visit them three nights a week as well as having them on Saturday and Sunday daytimes. Some folk have said I'm taking too much on with the amount of time I see them but I wouldn't have it any other way.

My advice to you would be to keep an open mind but not hope against hope that your relationship can be salvaged. This is a period of transition in your life - not an ending - and having your mind focused on you getting back together can mean you miss seeing other things - other opportunities. It can also mean you become bitter and jealous if things don't work out and that mentality is not good for anyone - you, your ex and especially the kids. I believe that everything happens for a reason and you may work things out or you may not. Just take some time out to reflect on things. I spent the time between Christmas and New Year to get away for a few days to the Cotswolds to recharge my batteries so to speak as relationship breakdowns take a lot out of you both mentally and physically. My break away really helped me to focus on the really important things and I came back with a new, more positive, outlook on things. Maybe you could try the same.

Anyway, hope things turn out well for you whatever the future may bring!

[DiscoPromotions]

Hi Rob,

I do no know you personally but sorry to hear about your situation.

The road I was on when I went through the breakup area had a lot of both high and low points, but one thing I promised myself was keeping myself in check; making sure I did not do anything stupid. I know this is easier said than done, especially where there is conflict between heart and mind, but keeping focused I would say got me through it. My focus was my work and taking a job away from home. but everyone is unique and there is no one solution that fits all.

All I will say is try to keep you chin up.

[weekender45]

I was with my wife for 25 years, 3 boys, almost a carbon copy of yours. She decided to walk out. It was planned. She had someone else.
That was 6 years ago. Life goes on.
Think positive. your not the first and not the last. Look forward.

[Andy Collins]

Life goes on.
Think positive. your not the first and not the last. Look forward.

As harsh as that may sound, you will not get better advise - you'll look back at this at some point and say "he was right"