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At customer meetings, which I always insisted on before accepting a wedding, one of my checklist questions was to nominate any "significant others" who could speak on behalf of the B&G on the day/night, and to highlight any potential troublemakers.
You wouldn't believe how often the latter threw up comments!
If I found myself in the OP's position I'd definitely have a quick word with the B+G - even if the only opportunity to do so is when readying them for the first dance (just say something along the lines of "Are you SURE you want the joke version suggested by <name>?")
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I had already fired off a reply to her with my misgivings, but then thought "am I being a grouch!" so posted on here, glad you're (mainly) in agreement!
Covering, West Midlands, Cotswolds, South & Mid Wales. Have van, will travel!
National Association of DJs
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Originally Posted by
DazzyD
My way of thinking was to check the calendar - no, it's definitely 1st May and not 1st April.
Why on earth would someone, who is not the bride AND groom together, suggest you risk ruining the first dance, one of the most iconic traditions of the wedding day? Is there a bit of a drugs or drink problem amongst Chief Bridesmaids in your local area?
At the end of the day, the Chief Bridesmaid isn't your client - she's not paying for your services - so what she thinks or wants is totally irrelevant. In fact, I'd be quite suspicious of her now. If she's trying to sabotage the first dance what else is she capable of? I'd probaby consider having a word with the couple.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN.
Being at the age where a lot of my friends are getting married, the biggest dramas that revolve around weddings from an insiders point of view (as opposed to a fairly objective DJ person) is mental families closely followed by bridesmaids being selfish, jealous etc... and it manifests itself in a lot of really horrible ways. I'd hope to be wrong but it may very well be that the person who has asked for this wants to sabotage the first dance for whatever reason.
I'd tell her flat out no, the 1st dance is the sole responsibility for the bride and groom and for anyone to suggest you play something else they haven't asked for never mind a pile of poo like that is not on. If she gives you any grief point out that if the bride and groom really wanted to do that, theyd have asked you to.
And I have to mirror Vectis's point about troublemakers. I don't specifically ask (though I might start now) but it's not that irregular to have a couple say "my sister / pal / this colleague is a total prat so ignore them and if they give you hassle, let us know.
Last edited by Excalibur; 02-05-2013 at 06:37 AM.
Reason: Modified censorship avoidance.
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Big risk - the bridesmaid might know the B&G well and know that it will work and it will make their night that little bit more memorable.
I wouldn't take the risk here though.
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I personally would not do it unless the bride and groom have said themselves it alright, its always worth remembering that the bride and groom would have choosen a song that means something to them.
I can't actually believe the cheek that someone would even come to you and try to get the first dance changed
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Originally Posted by
funkymook
I'd suggest to her it was saved for later in the evening - perhaps get her on the mic to dedicate a slow dance for the B&G and do it then?
Absolutely spot on.
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Last edited by DazzyD; 01-05-2013 at 11:11 PM.
Dazzy D
Lightning Disco & Entertainment
Born to make you party!
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Thanks for your comments, on the night I did what I felt comfortable with, and didn't get any whinges from the Bridesmaid, so all good!
Covering, West Midlands, Cotswolds, South & Mid Wales. Have van, will travel!
National Association of DJs
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I have got a request from the bride of a wedding next month to break in to their first dance. It is a traditional slow dance but after two min they want me to make it sound if the record is scratched and break in with PSY and get every one on the dance floor.
No problem with this as the bride is in charge, but I certainly not do this if someone else apart from the B & G asked
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Originally Posted by
addoaddo
I have got a request from the bride of a wedding next month to break in to their first dance. It is a traditional slow dance but after two min they want me to make it sound if the record is scratched and break in with PSY and get every one on the dance floor.
No problem with this as the bride is in charge, but I certainly not do this if someone else apart from the B & G asked
I can see that working and at the end of the day, it's the bride's decision.
I would go as far to say that if a bride or groom suggested something similar to me without the other partner knowing, I'd want something in writing (i.e. text or e-mail) saying that it was all their idea and the partner would be 100% OK with it in their opinion.
The last thing you want is facebook and twitter going nuts with people character assassinating you for doing your job and it backfiring.
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