Lack of courtesy, ignorance, or forgetfulness?

[Excalibur]

Or even a misunderstanding? Yes, the good old debate as to whether customers should feed and water us. Inspired by a rant of mine in Another Place, concerning a recent wedding I did. Nowadays, do customers expect that we'll make our own arrangements, do they expect that we'll join the buffet queue unbidden, or simply forget altogether?

One venue I work at sporadically has a small (tiny) function room with a raised area where the Disco and the Buffet co-exist in very close proximity. It's a bit galling at the end of the night to see the grub you've been a foot away from chucked into bin bags and discarded, and you were never even offered any. Do customers simply forget, do they reckon dining arrangements are a matter for us to deal with, or do they expect us to share the buffet without it being offered? ( and how many times have you played background music in the lull during the buffet, and the very instant you decide to pick up the tempo and get busy again, they come up and say " Oh you did help yourself to the food, didn't you? " Grrrrr. ) Would they bat an eyelid if we did help ourselves as a matter of course? ( And I mean tagging on the tail of the queue, not being at the front of the line and taking the clingfilm off ) I remember a very similar function where a member of the Bride's family came to check every half hour that my glass was full, and I was given exactly the same food ( a lovely cold knife and fork buffet ) as the guests.

As I said elsewhere, I'm of a generation where it was de rigeur to offer food and drink of some description to anyone working there. Nowadays, it doesn't seem to happen at most gigs. Should it be incorporated into our contracts? I've seen the riders of some bands, and a cup of tea and a plate of sarnies pale into insignificance by comparison.

I'm not going to put a poll with this, partly because I beleive there are few, if any hard and fast rules. Every one is different. What I'm really after ( and this is the tricky bit ) is an insight into how our customers' minds work. Next week I'll consider something simple, like the Hadron Collider. Over to you folks.

[ukpartydj]

I started a rather controversial thread a few months back where I mentioned I brought my own knife and fork to gigs incase it wasn't finger food.
In the few months that have passed I've done a complete U-turn and now even when offered politely refuse. Sometimes I'm just given a plate of food after I've declined - in which case I will happily eat it.

I used to just join the trail of hungry guests, it's just what I was used to from observing other DJ's and bands in my life. I have come to realise however that I provide a higher standard of entertainment than the DJ's I was getting my "inspiration" from and noticed the more expensive the wedding or party the less chance you have of being fed.

Bloody British and their politeness, I'm sure it's totally different in America!

[spin mobile disco]

I am offered food normally more than not and unless it is an all day event I normally decline. This is due a batch of food poisoning I got from several different buffets at weddings many years ago.
Saying that though watching them eat and feeling hungry is very difficult at times. As for drinks I occasionally accept a coke or similar if offered but normally only if it feels right at the time.

Back in the 90's it was very different though buffets where pretty much always on offer and expected and a few drinks going the DJ's way were almost guaranteed on a night. Seemed to die out around 8 years or so. Maybe it attitude changing or maybe the start of the recession not really sure on that.

[ultrasound disco]

DJs are robots and don't need food

[Jim - Scotland's Party DJ]

Coincidentally I was fed the same main as the guests at Saturday's wedding. It was a half day booking and the couple had said at the initial booking that I'd be fed (which I told them not to do) but it was appreciated. I bought them both a drink at the end of the night to thank them but I'd never expect or demand a meal and considering the amount of photographers I hear who have that they need a warm meal written into their t's and c's I think it's shocking.

Let's be fair, they have a lot less stuff to carry, can easilly nip out or bring something with them and do a lot less physical work than us and leave a lot earlier.

I had a recent client meeting (for an evening wedding) where they coily broached the subject about food. I told them I don't touch the buffet and they said not to be silly and to help myself but they were a bit worried as a thread on a wedding forum about having to provide meals for the suppliers had popped up and they hadn't checked their ocntracts for this. If myself, the photographers and videographers demand a meal, that's 5 on top of the guests and potentially anythin between £125 and close to £500 banged on top of their spend. She had recently been to a wedding where the photographer had accosted the bride at the top table to ask where his meal was

For evening gigs I eat before I go to gigs so being hungry isn't an issue most times. If there's an especially good looking buffet and I'm offered or someone brings me a plate then I'll get in on the action but otherwise, I won't.

Especially with wedding prices some couples are paying £5+ for a roll and bacon, I'd feel guilty about having one.

[DeckstarDeluxe]

I always provide for myself, that way I know I will never go hungry or thirsty. Most jobs this just means eating an hour before leaving and then grabbing something on the way back from the gig with maybe a bag of treats for during the gig.

[STEVE HANLEY]

I think 9 times out of 10 Peter, the reason we don't get asked is because the B&G or whoever's party it is they simply forgot to tell us to dig in. I usually don't bother. However there has been one or two occasions when I've been Hank Marvin lol. A subtle hint like asking the bride or groom if the buffet was nice always does the trick

[musicologydisco]

I eat before i go out! But I must say that at most gigs customers invite me to help myself to the buffet. Must be polite round here! Very rarely do I get offered a drink though. Those days are long gone. It used to be the first question you were asked when you arrived at a gig.. "can I get you a drink mate?"
*sigh* the good old days!

[Shaun]

I've mentioned before that I take all my provisions with me, or eat en-route. Partly because I prefer that, and also in small part that most times nobody offers. 20 years ago it would be the majority of gigs I would be offered, but these days there seems to be a definite lack of courtesy (or they just look at the fat DJ and think "he's not gonna die if he misses a feed ). I'd always refuse but it's nice to be offered.

[deltic]

Interesting topic Peter many moons ago it was the norm for a plate of sandwiches to be put up for the disco and some people still do.
Most of the hotels I work in I have done for a lot of years and the norm in these places is just to help yourself ie make your own coffee and eat whatever you want and this is with the managements blessing,some in particular just include you in the round when a staff member does a brew run.
Most of the hotel staff I know very well and the usual response is "you know where things are help yourself"

private functions with outside caterers it's quite rare I meet one I haven't worked with before and they tend to make sure there is something to eat.

You normal buffet style functions very rarely is nothing offered and the sit down jobs I nearly always get asked to sit and have a meal with the guests.
So on the whole things are not too bad on the food front.

Personally I always eat before setting out as I have always done,buffet food throws my digestive system into imbalance sometimes I will have a sweet and on occasion been known to tackle a hog roast.not really too keen sitting down with the guests to eat before a show,would rather eat in the back.

When I have young Einstein working for me I always make sure he gets fed usually arranged with the customer in advance and given the fact he usually has quite a bit to travel they are more than happy to feed him,even when he comes to help me with larger shows he always gets fed.

Now as a footnote a lot of my work is in the Lake District where the price of a soft drink sometimes requires a small mortgage
For this it is in my terms that the customer will supply the DJ with soft drinks when required....no one has ever complained and most of the time they just set up a tab for the dj.
Never once have I abused this...most times I only drink water but on the odd occasion when you want a coke its nice to know that it's not going to cost an arm and a leg.