What would you do?

[DeckstarDeluxe]

Just let them get on with it, who knows it may work...if it doesn't they ditch the karaoke and have a good night.

It does read to me as you mentioned so many other people agreeing with you and intend to be in the car on the way back that this is just more of an opinion you've kept to yourself?

[Excalibur]

It's not often I disagree with Peter but I'd stay out of it. Choosing the entertainment is not the remit of the Best Man.

That would be because I'm usually right.
I actually suggested offering to source suitable suppliers, and if that was not accepted, then keep right out.

It really is as easy as Martin makes it out to be...

Actually, in my book, it's the hardest possible course of action. Sitting and watching someone making an absolute Horlicks of a job you could have and would have done satisfactorily is hard to bear, and for me would prevent me enjoying that part of the festivities.

Personally, I'd have been inclined not to buy them the Crinoline Lady Novelty Toilet Roll Cover, and " give " them the disco as their wedding present. It would cost you very little ( as obviously, you wouldn't be turning down any other work ) and you'd have had the warm feeling of knowing that you'd ensured that the evening had a steady hand on the tiller.

Just my own personal views, no way am I claiming I'm right, in fact in this case, I really hope I'm wrong. Can't wait for the post-gig report though.

[Imagine]

Just let them get on with it, who knows it may work...if it doesn't they ditch the karaoke and have a good night.

It does read to me as you mentioned so many other people agreeing with you and intend to be in the car on the way back that this is just more of an opinion you've kept to yourself?

If you mean nobody's discussed it with Bridey - then no then haven't. I don't think anybody's brave enough for that one at the moment. Numerous guests (admittedly of the older generations) have been discussing between themselves though.

That would be because I'm usually right.
I actually suggested offering to source suitable suppliers, and if that was not accepted, then keep right out.

Can't disagree with you Peter - you haven't given me dud advice yet

Actually, in my book, it's the hardest possible course of action. Sitting and watching someone making an absolute Horlicks of a job you could have and would have done satisfactorily is hard to bear, and for me would prevent me enjoying that part of the festivities.

Again, can't disagree. BUT - I don't want to do the job. They've got someone booked, and it's not my place to go recommending other suppliers.
My original question was....would it be prudent to take a small rig just in case it goes belly up bearing in mind what they've got planned and the comments from other guests so far, not me saying I want to take over and run the evening's entertainment. It was meant as an emergency measure only to bail things out should it go horribly wrong for them, i.e. guests start to disappear in droves etc. or heaven forbid, the mate doesn't deliver.

As someone further up quite rightly said, it's not my gig, never has been and I don't want it to be. My thoughts though were to be available on standby in case of emergency, without even mentioning I had the kit with me unless needed.

Personally, I'd have been inclined not to buy them the Crinoline Lady Novelty Toilet Roll Cover, and " give " them the disco as their wedding present. It would cost you very little ( as obviously, you wouldn't be turning down any other work ) and you'd have had the warm feeling of knowing that you'd ensured that the evening had a steady hand on the tiller.

The thought had crossed my mind, as it had with one of my other brothers in law who's a professional TOG. However, we've both got other "jobs" on the day, and deserve a night off as well.

Can't wait for the post-gig report though.

I'm really hoping it's going to be a positive one Peter.

OK - decision made, I'm staying well clear and not taking anything with me which I don't need to perform my best man duties. Rightly or wrongly, they've made the decisions they've made for whatever reasons, it's their day and their reception. Who knows, it could turn out to be one of the best wedding receptions I've ever been to and lead to some ideas for my own business

[Excalibur]

My original question was....would it be prudent to take a small rig just in case it goes belly up bearing in mind what they've got planned and the comments from other guests so far, not me saying I want to take over and run the evening's entertainment. It was meant as an emergency measure only to bail things out should it go horribly wrong for them, i.e. guests start to disappear in droves etc. or heaven forbid, the mate doesn't deliver.

Then I will answer the original question with a blunt: NO.
On most other occasions, I'd give a resounding yes, but it's clear that help is neither being sought, nor would it be appreciated probably. So be it.

Wayne, I really hope that you and your family and friends have a brilliant time, and that Disco/KJ #2 is absolutely awesome. Hope it goes well for all concerned.





I hope you'll understand if I don't hold my breath though.

[Jim - Scotland's Party DJ]

Tough one.

Has the best man intimated to you that he's unsure about the karaoke?

IF I was in your situation and he had confided that he didn't really want karaoke, didn't know the guy and wasn't sure if he'd be up to par or something I'd mention that you could maybe have some kit there just incase it's a disaster.

But that's only if he had. If he's kept shtum then it's not worth the potential drama you could bring upon yourself namely:

- You look like a bit of a knob giving it "this guy will be crap but I'll save the day if you want me to" when nobodies asked you to
- The bride (and remember, weddings are all about compromise and that means the groom compromising on just about everything the bride has her heart set on ) thinks you're trying to derail HER wedding entertainment
- You do end up having to take the reigns and it doesn't go your way.

Amongst others.

I'd just leave it be unless the best man asks you to help out - If it does go udders up and there's any fall back on you for not having a plan b in place you're off the hook because a. you're on best man duties, b. nobody asked you to have a plan b and you were fully confident the bride's 2nd choice of entertainment after the first one being a waste of space would be fine and c. you didn't want to impinge on the brides glorious day

[Excalibur]

Err Jim: Wayne is the best man.

[Jim - Scotland's Party DJ]

lol meant groom

[theoloyla]

Agree with the others. If they know you are a dj and haven't asked you then they obviously don't want you. I have done disco's for family members and also attended functions for other family members where they decided to do something different.
IF they ASK for your help or opinion then by all means give them the benefit but otherwise I am afraid you will just have to go with the flow. It is generally accepted that the wedding is ultimately the bride's day; so if that's what she want then that is what she wants. You evidently don't like her. Maybe the feeling is mutual and that is why she doesn't want you doing her disco.