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Thread: A Few Wedding Related Questions

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  1. #1
    Casual77's Avatar
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    Default A Few Wedding Related Questions

    Having had a quiet couple of months I'm just about to head into a busy patch with 13 consecutive weekends of gigs including my first weddings of the year. I've not done a wedding since New Year's Eve and I feel a bit out of the swing of things so I thought maybe I could float a few questions past people on here to get me back in the right frame of mind.....


    1. A few of the weddings are large marquee affairs with 200+ people (well that's large by my usual standards). I've just invested in a couple of 12" subs to help out my Yamaha 12" tops so hopefully they will sound ok but from a volume perspective, should I be aiming to play to the dancefloor or the whole marquee?

    2. I've been given an extensive list of suggested songs (which I have no problems with per se). The only issue is that there seems to be a significant proportion of slow songs many of which I wouldn't normally play (Holding Back the Years by Simply Red, anyone?). I can obviously get away with playing a selection of slower songs at some point during the night but maybe only about half a dozen or so. So the question is.... should I try to slip a few of them into the background music early on or would I be better to just drop them from the set completely?

    3. My next wedding is my first gay wedding (two grooms). I will have to announce the first dance and I was wondering what the accepted alternative to 'bride and groom' is? Or should I avoid generic terms?

    4. I've been given a few genres to guide me but are there any specific songs which might be considered 'must plays' at a gay wedding? Is it politically appropriate for me to even ask that?

    5. One of the genres suggested is 'Classic Funk'. Can anyone point me in the direction of a few classic songs which would fall into this genre as a starting point. I'm sure I will know a lot of the bigger songs but can't put my finger on what they would be at the moment.

    I'm sure there will be some more when I think about it but they will do for starters. As always any help will be greatly appreciated!

  2. #2
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    Ill try my best to help,

    1. Marquee's swallow sound, be prepared for your sound to feel totally underwhelming. It will hardly bounce off the walls and with the people acting like sponges it will be frustrating. You have a couple of choices, Hire in some more sound (another pair of 12's half way down the room for example to carry the noise to the back at slightly higher than background level) or don't worry about it and don't overwork your speakers. i nearly blew mine trying to keep up with a bands twin 18 subs!

    2. I'd discuss this with the couple and tell them you plan on using them as background songs as in your experience the majority wont work a crowd on the floor, they will agree and you won't have a problem. (unless they want 1 or 2 saving for end of night)

    3. Best tip here is to ask them. They might have something specific in mind and if not suggest a few to them. Happy couple, our wonderful Grooms etc.

    4.Again, ask them. Treat is like any other wedding, if they say they want typical gay stereotype then do that, they might hate camp stuff so if you start playing i will survive they will hate you.

    5. No idea about this genre sorry.
    North East Wedding DJ - www.stevenmaddison.co.uk - TWIA Regional Finalist 2019 & 2020 - The Wedding Business Awards Wedding DJ of the year (North East Region)

  3. #3
    DJColsie's Avatar
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    Point 5, classic funk would mean to me things like;

    Mr Big Stuff - Jean Knight

    Don't Dtop the Music - Yarbrough& Peoples

    Shake Your Groove a Thing - Peaches & Herb

    Dance to the Music - Sly & The Family Stone

    Pick Up the Pieces - The Average White Band

    Etc

  4. #4
    Imagine's Avatar
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    In that case - welcome back to the world of weddings

    Sound-wise. I tend to play to fill the floor in a marquee personally (much like any other gig). Not everyone in attendance will want to be deafened by thumping beats (nature of the beast with weddings is that you'll possibly have older relations, relations who haven't seen each other in a while and just want to chill and chat). The Yammy's should cope with that more than amicably (I've had my DXR15's out on their own in marquees before now with no problems). That said, I'd have been inclined to put 15" subs under 12" tops but each to their own. You'll at least be getting some sort of thud at floor level and something overhead.

    With the playlist, I've just had the same this morning (a Mr & Mr wedding for this weekend funny enough). Talk to them and ask where they foresee them coming in. Many people still expect a slow section towards the end of the night, especially with a wedding. When I spoke to my couple this morning, they were more than happy for the slower stuff (apart from a couple of really special ones) to be put into the cocktail hour music.

    Now to the gay wedding (I prefer to call them same sex weddings personally rather than label the happy couple). Firstly....don't get hung up on the fact that it's two gentlemen tying the knot (or ladies if doing the other version). They are two human beings that are in love with each other and want to spend the rest of the lives together the same as any other married couple. As such, they're no different to a heterosexual wedding couple and unless they specifically ask, shouldn't be treated any differently either.

    Introductions....speak to them. From my own personal experience, same sex weddings don't necessarily follow the same routine as a Mr & Mrs wedding. They're still fairly new, and a lot of the couples like to buck tradition and set something new for themselves and their friends to follow....it's all part of the fun. I've never yet announced a Mr & Mr or Mrs & Mrs. I've always been asked to be informal and use first names (as indeed is the case this weekend). Maybe explain to the grooms that they are your first same sex wedding and see how they'd like things done....it's their day after all

    As with must plays....again ASK THE QUESTION. There's no shame in asking your customer what they want from their special day. It depends on whether they're the openly flamboyant type of person or not. The only shall we say, "anthems" I have for this weekend's wedding are I Am What I Am by Gloria Gaynor. and Why by Bronski Beat as a mark of respect for those who died over in the USA last week...everything else is a mix of 70s,80s and 90s. If they are into the type of music traditionally associated with gay bars, then Donna Summer, Kylie Minogue, Abba, Bronski Beat and the Communards spring to mind.

    As for classic funk....big genre:
    • SuperFreak
    • Get Down On It
    • Car Wash
    • FunkyTown
    • Superstition


    Hope that didn't come across as too harsh....it wasn't meant to be but from your post you seem to be getting hung up a little bit on the fact that it's a same sex marriage.
    What I'm desperately trying to get across is that you should treat it just like any other wedding, enjoy the evening and most importantly of all, TALK TO YOUR CUSTOMER.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Imagine View Post
    In that case - welcome back to the world of weddings

    Sound-wise. I tend to play to fill the floor in a marquee personally (much like any other gig). Not everyone in attendance will want to be deafened by thumping beats (nature of the beast with weddings is that you'll possibly have older relations, relations who haven't seen each other in a while and just want to chill and chat). The Yammy's should cope with that more than amicably (I've had my DXR15's out on their own in marquees before now with no problems). That said, I'd have been inclined to put 15" subs under 12" tops but each to their own. You'll at least be getting some sort of thud at floor level and something overhead.
    I would generally have preferred 15"s subs too but storing them and transporting them would be awkward so I opted for a pair of 12"s instead. Tomorrow will be there first run out so I'm interested to see how they cope.

    Quote Originally Posted by Imagine View Post
    Hope that didn't come across as too harsh....it wasn't meant to be but from your post you seem to be getting hung up a little bit on the fact that it's a same sex marriage.
    I don't think you came across as harsh at all so no need to worry on that score. I wouldn't say I am particularly hung up on the same-sex aspect though. I'm just eager to do as good a job on this one as I would on any other wedding and I wasn't sure if there might be some kind of accepted convention that I wasn't aware of. Its an agency job so I might just have to wing it unless I can collar one or both of the grooms on the night for a quick chat about it. I'm actually hoping it might be a bit on the flamboyant side because it will probably make for a more enjoyable night!

    Thanks Steven and DJ Colsie. I think I have some good suggestions for the funk tracks to use now and it's always good to get different peoples' takes on how to approach things. I have got another pair of decent 12"s I could use as you suggested but the wedding is in a really small North Yorkshire village and I've been told parking could be an issue if I take my van. Unfortunately that means I'm restricted to what I can squeeze into my car. I think I've figured out how to get my 12" subs and 12" speakers in along with my stand, lights etc but I don't see any way of me squeezing in another pair of 12" actives.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Casual77 View Post
    I don't think you came across as harsh at all so no need to worry on that score. I wouldn't say I am particularly hung up on the same-sex aspect though. I'm just eager to do as good a job on this one as I would on any other wedding and I wasn't sure if there might be some kind of accepted convention that I wasn't aware of.
    Phew!
    Sorry - I'd been arguing with some idiot on another forum earlier who's getting in a real knot over doing a same sex wedding and hadn't quite calmed down from that. Give some people a laptop and a set of Mapin lights.....

    All you can do is your best (unlike the aforementioned buffoon who was determined to turn the one he's doing into some sort of Village People reunion by the sounds of it). Convention-wise as I mentioned, there aren't any that I know of (and I've done a few of them now). Because same sex weddings are new and different, there hasn't been any sort of trend/tradition set yet that I've seen. They all add their own touches to the day (much the same as a heterosexual couple) to make it unique to them. At the end of the day....it's a wedding

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual77 View Post
    I'm actually hoping it might be a bit on the flamboyant side because it will probably make for a more enjoyable night!
    Don't worry - they're normally enjoyable
    You'll find they have a lot less inhibitions and will actually dance.

    Because you aren't necessarily going to know what sort of night it's going to be though due to it being an agency job....have a look at this linky for a little inspiration in case it does turn into a Pride sort of night.

    Whatever way it goes though.....enjoy

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    Quote Originally Posted by Imagine View Post
    Give some people a laptop and a set of Mapin lights.....
    Something you wanna say?





















































































































































































































































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    Quote Originally Posted by Imagine View Post
    Phew!

    Because you aren't necessarily going to know what sort of night it's going to be though due to it being an agency job....have a look at this linky for a little inspiration in case it does turn into a Pride sort of night.
    There are actually some really good songs on that list that I would be happy to play without feeling as though I was 'camping' it up too much. I think I might stop short of playing 'Gay Bar' though just to be on the safe side!

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    1.Depends on the wedding I guess. i would 9/10 times play to the dance floor, just like any other wedding. The last thing other guests want is for conversation to be drowned out, and be forced outside (may be cold). I find setting up right next to the dancfloor or speakers close by helps.

    2. Yes background is good, but they can come in very handy, especially with a tired number of guests. My wedding last night needed a good 10-15 slow songs as it dies a death at 11.30.

    3. I have one to go to right now (rushed post!). Ask them, not a question we can answer.
    My one today is Mr Coby & Mr Brey, they may want "the happy couple" but more popular would just be their first names.

    4. I would ask them how gay they want it to be, or you will get the idea if you meet them. 9/10 of my ones are not stereotypically gay as most gay people I have worked for hate the queeny type thing, although there are always a few gay hits in there. The first dance today is Barbara Streisand for example. They have banned Queen & Abba though, which says it all. There are tons of tracks if they do want gay music, my question would be "who are your guests". Most typically 80-90% will be family and straight friends.

    See below for some of the tracks i have found.

    5. just look online for "classic funk" you will find millions of compilation albums. This took me about 5 seconds to find. Again ask the client as they may want a specific type of funk, or more commonly not funk at all, but soul etc. as they don't understand the genres.

    Good luck.

    Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up 3:34
    Bee Gees - Staying Alive 4:46
    We Are The Champions 3:01 Queen
    Bulletproof 3:26 La Roux Bulletproof - EP
    Muma mia 3:32 Abba Abba Gold Greatest Hits
    Never Forget 6:26 Take That Take That: Greatest Hits
    Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) - beyonce 3:13 Beyoncé Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
    In For The Kill 4:08 La Roux Kitsuné: Maison Compilation 6
    Elton John& Kiki Dee - Don't Go Breaking My Heart 4:33 Elton John
    don't let the sun go down on me 5:38 Elton John
    Killer Queen 3:02 Queen
    Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls 4:17 Queen
    I Want to Break Free 3:21 Queen The Works
    Cant Get You Out Of My Head 3:52 Kylie Minogue
    Love At First Sight 4:01 Kylie Minogue Fever
    Ain't No Other Man 3:49 Aguilera, Christina
    Scissor Sisters - I Don't Feel Like Dancing DONT 4:36
    Take Your Mama 4:32 Scissors sisters
    George Micheal Wham! - I'm Your Man 4:06
    Dirrty 4:59 Christina Aguilera Stripped
    Holiday - MADONNA 6:08 Madonna Madonna
    madonna - like a virgin (extended dance remix) 6:06
    Material Girl 3:53 Madonna
    Diana Ross & The Supremes - I'm Coming Out 5:23
    Karma Chameleon 4:02 Culture Club At Worst...The Best of Boy George and Culture Club
    Young Hearts Run Free - Candi Staton - 4:03
    ABBA - Dancing Queen 3:48
    Bee Gees - You Should Be Dancing 4:18
    Dirty Dancing - I've Had The Time Of My Life 4:50
    Donna Summers - I Feel Love 8:14 Donna Summers
    Pointer Sisters - I'm so Excited 3:49
    The Village People -YMCA 4:48
    dont stop me now 3:31 queen
    ABBA - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! 4:47
    Relax - frankie goes to hollywood 3:57 Frankie Goes to Hollywood Welcome to the Pleasuredome
    Vougue - Madonna 5:17
    Go West 5:04 Pet Shop Boys
    West End Girls 4:00 Pet Shop Boys Discography, The Complete Singles Collection (Compilation)
    Blue Monday 7:24 New Order Smash Hits 30th Anniversary - The Eighties
    I'm Too Sexy 2:50 Right Said Fred Up
    soft cell- tainted love (single version) 2:40
    Atomic 4:37 Blondie
    Heart of Glass 4:32 Blondie
    Communards - Don't Leave Me This Way (1) 6:28
    Cindy Lauper - Girls Just Want To Have Fun 3:49
    That's the Way I Like It 3:05 Kc & The Sunshine Band The Best Of KC & the Sunshine Band
    80s - Wham - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go 3:50
    Careless Whisper 5:00 George Michael Ladies and Gentlemen, The Best of George Michael
    Outside 4:43 George Michael Ladies and Gentlemen, The Best of George Michael
    Free (Radio Edit) 3:51 Ultra Naté Ibiza - The Ultimate Clubbing Experience
    Do You Really Want to Hurt Me 4:25 Culture Club The Best of Culture Club
    You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) 6:35 Sylvester Young Soul Rebels
    Freed from Desire 3:30 Gala Big Tunes Old Skool
    Danger! High Voltage 3:50 Electric Six Fire
    Gay Bar 1:52 Electric 6
    The Source ft Candi Staton - You got the love 3:34
    South Pacific Soundtrack - There Is Nothing Like A Dame 3:38 South Pacific
    80s - Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse Of The Heart 6:58
    Shirley Bassey - Hey Big Spender 1 1:58
    Pet Shop Boys - It's A Sin 5:01
    In the Navy 5:40 Village People Go West In the Navy
    I should be so lucky - kylie 3:27 Kyle Minogue Simply The Best of the 80's
    Hot Stuff (Single Version) 3:50 Donna Summer The Journey - The Very Best of Donna Summer
    Hooray for Hollywood 2:24 Nancy Sinatra California Girl
    Hey Big Spender 2:07 Peggy Lee Capitol 5557
    Heavy D & The Boys - Now That We've Found Love 4:16
    Grease - Summer Nights 3:37
    Grace Kelly 3:07 Mika
    GERRY HALIWELL - Its Raining Men 3:23 <Unknown> <Unknown>
    Finally 3:43 Ce Ce Peniston Girls (Box Set)
    Erasure - A Little Respect 3:32
    Elton John - I'm Still Standing 1 3:01 Elton John
    Elton John - I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues(1) 4:43 Elton John
    Born This Way - lady gaga 4:21 Lady Gaga Born This Way
    Bonnie Tyler - Holding out for a hero 5:50
    Bette Midler - Forbidden Broadway - Who's Gay In Hollywood 2:58 Bette Midler
    The Way It Used To Be 4:44 Pet Shop Boys Yes Special Edition
    Better The Devil You Know 3:53 Kylie Minogue The Best Of Kylie Minogue
    Borderline 4:00 Madonna Celebration
    Last edited by yourdj; 18-06-2016 at 10:36 AM.
    Your DJ - Mobile DJ The New Forest, Southampton & Hampshire. Toby
    https://yourdj.co.uk/

  10. #10
    Casual77's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yourdj View Post
    1.Depends on the wedding I guess. i would 9/10 times play to the dance floor, just like any other wedding. The last thing other guests want is for conversation to be drowned out, and be forced outside (may be cold). I find setting up right next to the dancfloor or speakers close by helps.

    2. Yes background is good, but they can come in very handy, especially with a tired number of guests. My wedding last night needed a good 10-15 slow songs as it dies a death at 11.30.

    3. I have one to go to right now (rushed post!). Ask them, not a question we can answer.
    My one today is Mr Coby & Mr Brey, they may want "the happy couple" but more popular would just be their first names.

    4. I would ask them how gay they want it to be, or you will get the idea if you meet them. 9/10 of my ones are not stereotypically gay as most gay people I have worked for hate the queeny type thing, although there are always a few gay hits in there. The first dance today is Barbara Streisand for example. They have banned Queen & Abba though, which says it all. There are tons of tracks if they do want gay music, my question would be "who are your guests". Most typically 80-90% will be family and straight friends.

    See below for some of the tracks i have found.

    5. just look online for "classic funk" you will find millions of compilation albums. This took me about 5 seconds to find. Again ask the client as they may want a specific type of funk, or more commonly not funk at all, but soul etc. as they don't understand the genres.

    Good luck.

    Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up 3:34
    Bee Gees - Staying Alive 4:46
    We Are The Champions 3:01 Queen
    Bulletproof 3:26 La Roux Bulletproof - EP
    Muma mia 3:32 Abba Abba Gold Greatest Hits
    Never Forget 6:26 Take That Take That: Greatest Hits
    Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) - beyonce 3:13 Beyoncé Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
    In For The Kill 4:08 La Roux Kitsuné: Maison Compilation 6
    Elton John& Kiki Dee - Don't Go Breaking My Heart 4:33 Elton John
    don't let the sun go down on me 5:38 Elton John
    Killer Queen 3:02 Queen
    Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls 4:17 Queen
    I Want to Break Free 3:21 Queen The Works
    Cant Get You Out Of My Head 3:52 Kylie Minogue
    Love At First Sight 4:01 Kylie Minogue Fever
    Ain't No Other Man 3:49 Aguilera, Christina
    Scissor Sisters - I Don't Feel Like Dancing DONT 4:36
    Take Your Mama 4:32 Scissors sisters
    George Micheal Wham! - I'm Your Man 4:06
    Dirrty 4:59 Christina Aguilera Stripped
    Holiday - MADONNA 6:08 Madonna Madonna
    madonna - like a virgin (extended dance remix) 6:06
    Material Girl 3:53 Madonna
    Diana Ross & The Supremes - I'm Coming Out 5:23
    Karma Chameleon 4:02 Culture Club At Worst...The Best of Boy George and Culture Club
    Young Hearts Run Free - Candi Staton - 4:03
    ABBA - Dancing Queen 3:48
    Bee Gees - You Should Be Dancing 4:18
    Dirty Dancing - I've Had The Time Of My Life 4:50
    Donna Summers - I Feel Love 8:14 Donna Summers
    Pointer Sisters - I'm so Excited 3:49
    The Village People -YMCA 4:48
    dont stop me now 3:31 queen
    ABBA - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! 4:47
    Relax - frankie goes to hollywood 3:57 Frankie Goes to Hollywood Welcome to the Pleasuredome
    Vougue - Madonna 5:17
    Go West 5:04 Pet Shop Boys
    West End Girls 4:00 Pet Shop Boys Discography, The Complete Singles Collection (Compilation)
    Blue Monday 7:24 New Order Smash Hits 30th Anniversary - The Eighties
    I'm Too Sexy 2:50 Right Said Fred Up
    soft cell- tainted love (single version) 2:40
    Atomic 4:37 Blondie
    Heart of Glass 4:32 Blondie
    Communards - Don't Leave Me This Way (1) 6:28
    Cindy Lauper - Girls Just Want To Have Fun 3:49
    That's the Way I Like It 3:05 Kc & The Sunshine Band The Best Of KC & the Sunshine Band
    80s - Wham - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go 3:50
    Careless Whisper 5:00 George Michael Ladies and Gentlemen, The Best of George Michael
    Outside 4:43 George Michael Ladies and Gentlemen, The Best of George Michael
    Free (Radio Edit) 3:51 Ultra Naté Ibiza - The Ultimate Clubbing Experience
    Do You Really Want to Hurt Me 4:25 Culture Club The Best of Culture Club
    You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) 6:35 Sylvester Young Soul Rebels
    Freed from Desire 3:30 Gala Big Tunes Old Skool
    Danger! High Voltage 3:50 Electric Six Fire
    Gay Bar 1:52 Electric 6
    The Source ft Candi Staton - You got the love 3:34
    South Pacific Soundtrack - There Is Nothing Like A Dame 3:38 South Pacific
    80s - Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse Of The Heart 6:58
    Shirley Bassey - Hey Big Spender 1 1:58
    Pet Shop Boys - It's A Sin 5:01
    In the Navy 5:40 Village People Go West In the Navy
    I should be so lucky - kylie 3:27 Kyle Minogue Simply The Best of the 80's
    Hot Stuff (Single Version) 3:50 Donna Summer The Journey - The Very Best of Donna Summer
    Hooray for Hollywood 2:24 Nancy Sinatra California Girl
    Hey Big Spender 2:07 Peggy Lee Capitol 5557
    Heavy D & The Boys - Now That We've Found Love 4:16
    Grease - Summer Nights 3:37
    Grace Kelly 3:07 Mika
    GERRY HALIWELL - Its Raining Men 3:23 <Unknown> <Unknown>
    Finally 3:43 Ce Ce Peniston Girls (Box Set)
    Erasure - A Little Respect 3:32
    Elton John - I'm Still Standing 1 3:01 Elton John
    Elton John - I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues(1) 4:43 Elton John
    Born This Way - lady gaga 4:21 Lady Gaga Born This Way
    Bonnie Tyler - Holding out for a hero 5:50
    Bette Midler - Forbidden Broadway - Who's Gay In Hollywood 2:58 Bette Midler
    The Way It Used To Be 4:44 Pet Shop Boys Yes Special Edition
    Better The Devil You Know 3:53 Kylie Minogue The Best Of Kylie Minogue
    Borderline 4:00 Madonna Celebration
    Thanks Toby.... I think that is probably the basis of my playlist for the night right there!

    I've had a bit more info and they want a shortened version of Ghosttown by Madonna for their first dance followed by Madonna's 'Into the Groove'. They also want a New York themed song section at some point (because that is where they got married) and a 90s Classic Dance section which is quite up my street. I'm actually quite looking forward to this one. I think it should be an interesting night.

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