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Thread: What music if any, is inappropriate for weddings

  1. #1
    Andy P's Avatar
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    Default What music if any, is inappropriate for weddings

    First new post in a while...

    Read a post today and was a little shocked. Won't labour on it but did stir up a question

    What genres or styles or music do we feel are not appropriate for a wedding *unless the client specifically requests*


    Me personally, my repertoire does not include any Rave or Metal, I try to stay this side of the 50's and limit the harshness of the Hip Hop


    What are your boundaries
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    Imagine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy P View Post
    First new post in a while...

    Read a post today and was a little shocked. Won't labour on it but did stir up a question

    What genres or styles or music do we feel are not appropriate for a wedding *unless the client specifically requests*


    Me personally, my repertoire does not include any Rave or Metal, I try to stay this side of the 50's and limit the harshness of the Hip Hop


    What are your boundaries
    I have no boundaries and no shame.

    The customer (the Bride and Groom) pay me to play what they want. I've done weddings with huge sections of Rave, Metal, and even Drum & Bass (never again on the latter).

    I've even stooped so low in the past as to do an all night absolute cheese fest (and I'm talking YMCA, Cha Cha Slide, Oops Upside Your Head....you get the idea).

    Obviously if left to my own devices I play to the guests with whatever's going to get them up and busting moves on my 'floor which is usually a bit of everything.

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    Dinosaur Excalibur's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Imagine View Post
    I have no boundaries and no shame.

    The customer (the Bride and Groom) pay me to play what they want. I've done weddings with huge sections of Rave, Metal, and even Drum & Bass (never again on the latter).

    I've even stooped so low in the past as to do an all night absolute cheese fest (and I'm talking YMCA, Cha Cha Slide, Oops Upside Your Head....you get the idea).

    Obviously if left to my own devices I play to the guests with whatever's going to get them up and busting moves on my 'floor which is usually a bit of everything.
    Exactly what he said, with one qualification. If under eighteens are present, explicit tracks will not be played. Otherwise, it's all grist to the mill.
    Excalibur. Older than the average DJ.

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    I did steer clear of a request one night for Yvonne Fair's "It should have been me", and Band of Gold is one I shy away from being all about divorce.

    Apart from that, anything with rudey dudey words in are verboten, though the clean versions, usually courtesy of Mastermix, DMC or Now are fine.

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    Jim - Scotland's Party DJ's Avatar
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    Ooh how did I miss this thread?

    It it works and is what my bride and grooms want then i'll play it unless it's grossly offensive lyrically, political (i.e. Loyalist / Rebel tunes) or football related unless the B&G support a team and expressly ask me to play it but even then there's a veto depending on the songs.

    That being said, you wouldn't have liked Saturdays setlist.

    7pm start (bride didn't even care if her evening guests had arrived or not, charming) through to 1:45 with 90% of it being dance music and I mean hard dance.

    It was pretty fun for me because I got to do some tasty mixing for a change.

    The oldies hated it and vocalised it to me. I explained that this was what the bride and groom wanted and any time I deviated from it, she would tell me to get back to the dance stuff and it was her wedding after all. One aunt challenged her on it and was told she could get one song from the 70s then could off (again, charming)

    The majority of the crowd though who were off their face on all sorts lapped it up. I was REALLY against her wishes and let her know in a diplomatic way but for once (and with the aid of a load of class A and B narcotics) the "it's fine, we all love a dance" statement was actually true!!!


    I had to caveat to a potential client today however that this setlist which is now on my homepage is nowhere near indicative of what I usually do.


    I did have a barney on one of the Scottish forums a year or two ago because he took umbridge to me playing Chumbawumba as a 'One more song' number.

    He was a DJ anyway but I'm not sure why he got so indignant about that being played at a wedding. It's a stone cold banger and works great with indie crowds. Maybe he's still playing his Aerosmith and Bryan Adams tunes at his weddings

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    I don't think any music is really inappropriate for weddings as such. Certain types suit some customers & crowds better than others but really pretty much anything goes in my book. That said I still feel slightly uncomfortable playing tracks with sweary lyrics even though censored versions generally sound ridiculous to me.

    For me there's no "you can't play XYZ" at a wedding, where XYZ is hiphop, rave, metal or whatever - with one caveat along the lines of Jim's comments about secularism/tribalism. Tracks like The Best & Penny Arcade can & DO cause major rucks & we have to be very careful.

    So yeah I play Young Hearts Run Free & Band of Gold at weddings.. Heck a bride last year asked me to play Sash - Encore Une Fois for her ex & they both had a damn good bounce around to it as new hubby looked on smiling. Really, if many people cared that much about a song's lyrical content we wouldn't see Heartland - I Loved Her First as a father & daughter dance IMHO. My nickname for that track is along the lines of "I got there first".

    Jim - I've just looked at your site & the list you mentioned didn't strike me as particularly ravey. A wee bit dance heavy maybe. Not too far from what I need to play about half the time at my gigs. But DJ Bad Boy.. What a load of ... crock! Just can't beat a good Jesse Bloch remix though! (his Paramore edit isn't one of his best IMHO). BTW If you wanna know about ravey at weddings.. one of my mates gets quite a lot of call for makina. Maybe that's one area I wouldn't go - but purely because I know so little about it.

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    Gary Glitter.

    Even if requested by the client, I can't see how I would still play it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rth_discos View Post
    Gary Glitter.

    Even if requested by the client, I can't see how I would still play it.
    I said that about glitter and Rolf Harris. Til I had a bride requesting The Court of King Caractacus. Oh gawd I hope I never get asked to do that again!

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    Quote Originally Posted by rth_discos View Post
    Gary Glitter.

    Even if requested by the client, I can't see how I would still play it.
    I agree completely, but..................

    I was urged to play one by him at a function, and it worked very well, despite my reservations.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nakatomi View Post
    I said that about glitter and Rolf Harris. Til I had a bride requesting The Court of King Caractacus. Oh gawd I hope I never get asked to do that again!
    Our clients have " interesting " music choices from time to time, Justin. Sometimes, there are good reasons behind them, which we know nothing of.
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    Shakermaker Promotions's Avatar
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    I agree to some extent that the customer paying should get what they want, however I would always try and advise them in a pre-gig meeting following years of experience and witnessing what sticking to what THEY want (and not taking their guests tastes into consideration), can result in.

    Luckily (for me anyway), most of the Brides and Grooms I dealt with DID take their guests tastes into consideration. I can probably count on one hand the number of times when a couple (or one of them), were adamant that I stick to what they wanted and tough luck for everybody else.

    The main one that sticks out was well over 10 years ago and the theme was medieval. Everything looked the dogs doo dah's, the venue, the set up, the way the Bride & Groom and the majority of their guests were dressed etc etc.... Beforehand you would have said it will be a cracker. However......Out of probably 150 people attending, the Bride and 3 of her bridesmaids and a couple of other guests were intent on having multiple Metallica and Megadeth songs alternated so that they could headbang. The first dance was Metallica's 'Nothing Else Matters' (not the first time it had been chosen as a first dance), and it went down well, but after that the dance floor cleared and it was unbelievably embarrassing for me for starters. I had guests coming up to me asking what the hell I was playing. All I could do was be honest and say it was what the Bride wanted.

    As said elsewhere, she was challenged too by one of the guests and swiftly told where to go.
    It got to one point in the night and I'll be honest (not that it should have bothered me, but I wanted it to work), I got sick of telling angry guests that I was playing what the Bride wanted. I remember the Groom coming over and asking if I wanted a drink. I remember saying to him, What I want is for your guests to stop hassling me. In the end I told him that if he didn't want people leaving early and the reception to be a wash out, he'd have to have a word with his Bride and tell her to let me play some of the guests request. I watched him go over to her and her bridesmaids whilst they were headbanging. I saw the look of disgust on her face. I saw her neck her drink in one gulp and then storm off the dance floor, her bridesmaids in tow.

    Funny though eh, within minutes of the music changing, the dance floor was packed and stayed like it for the rest of the night. I think the damage had been done anyway, but I did my best to give them a good time. When the Bride contacted me a week or so after with her feedback, she actually said that she was slightly disappointed that I didn't play many of her requests. I had actually played every single one of them plus a couple of extras, hence why the night was rapidly going downhill. If I'd not said anything to the Groom, I would have no doubt had to put up with a whole venue full of anger and boredom.....

    I don't mind playing anything, it doesn't bother me too much, but I hate standing there and people thinking that the reason they are sitting there bored with a couple of people on the dance floor is my fault, when it isn't. They are entitled to waste their money if they want, but I'll always try to advise them. If they don't want to listen then what can you do?

    ....and lastly, being more into the Indie / Rock / Alternative side of things myself, I really didn't mind playing their requests. The thing is, it isn't about what I / We like is it, I put my wedding DJ head on and looked around the room. I didn't mind hearing Disturbed - Down With The Sickness...great track, but the older guests and most of the 'too cool for school' wannabe's hated it.

    Apologies for the long reply, I got a bit carried away there!

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