About 99% of punters won't know their Soundlab from their Pioneers - besides which, ANY gear can be prone to fail eventually no matter who made it. Photos showing the gear in action are pointless most of the time too.. even videos of good rigs can look like blazing cacophonies of light.
People say 'We promise to turn up'. Duh. I should blinking hope so. That'd be like a double glazing company saying "we promise your windows won't fall out the day after we fit them". Erm, most if not all customers kind of expect you to turn up as arranged without a darn good excuse. Say you're reliable? Yup. Maybe back it up somehow? Hmmm.
"Satisfaction guaranteed". So, what's this 'guarantee' backed up by? Being chased through the courts until the customer gains satisfaction? Bag that one with "We aim to please". Ah, I'm SO going to book them over the guys who say "We aim to annoy the hell out of you!"
See also, "all guests' requests will be played in a timely fashion"... What? Nah. I can't see that being as positive thing in ALL cases. The woman who asked for a whole Sam Smith album to be played the other week would've caused so much fun with that. Just say "we play requests" instead maybe? I need context for any requests I play - that doesn't make me a 'never plays any requests' arrogant so & so - because I most certainly ain't that.
As for customers asking for information already there on the page plain as day - I had my fill of that running one website. I'll be more likely to be able to tolerate it if it's going to make me money but still.. grrr.