View Full Version : Please help.
I cannot believe what has happened. This has never happened to me and im not to sure how to deal with it.
I have been booked to do a 40th birthday party. What upsets me is that she died last week from breast cancer. :(.
I have spoken to a family friend of the husband and said i was sorry straight away, and needed to ask a few question aswell. They are going to give me a cd of tracks that have to be played throught out the night (favourite songs of hers)
The disco has now been turned in to a celebration oif her life which i think is nice.
Is there anything i should and should'nt do, as there is no way i would want to ruin there day at all. This gig really means a lot to me and i wish to give it moe than 100%
Thanks a lot for your help (in advance)
Solitaire Events Ltd
17-01-2008, 04:10 PM
Tom
Make sure if there are any songs that shouldn't be played. Hopefully, by the time the party comes along, people will have grieved and will be ready to celebrate her life without too much sadness.
Good luck Tom.
Personally if I were in their shoes I know I wouldn't want the DJ mentioning her or cancer... that's just me though.
I think i would also want it to be jolly... and not all doom and gloom style songs
My 2p worth.
Solitaire Events Ltd
17-01-2008, 04:22 PM
Personally if I were in their shoes I know I wouldn't want the DJ mentioning her or cancer... that's just me though.
You cannot possibly not mention the person who's died. It's a celebration of their life. :)
You cannot possibly not mention the person who's died. It's a celebration of their life. :)
Fair enough..
But what would you say?
I am just imagining say if it was my mum...
Although then againw e are not the sort of people who would have a disco.
Shakermaker Promotions
17-01-2008, 04:32 PM
In this situation, what I would do is call them and ask to go and see them if possible to make sure that you know the songs NOT to play. I know it's a celebration of the person's life BUT some of the guests may be upset with certain songs, you never know.
I also think that they will appreciate the call or meeting and know that you will do your best to entertain them all and that you are actually bothered.
Solitaire Events Ltd
17-01-2008, 04:36 PM
I really think that you should leave threads like this to people who have either been there or have more experience in these matters.:)
Shaun
17-01-2008, 04:45 PM
In this situation, what I would do is call them and ask to go and see them if possible to make sure that you know the songs NOT to play. I know it's a celebration of the person's life BUT some of the guests may be upset with certain songs, you never know.
I also think that they will appreciate the call or meeting and know that you will do your best to entertain them all and that you are actually bothered.
I agree with all the above.
-------------------
A meeting is a must in this type of situation. The lady's husband and their immediate family are the best people to advise you on how they want the evening to flow. Any advice we can give on the forum will be pure speculation. Give them a call, and best of luck with the gig. Let us know how it goes.
I really think that you should leave threads like this to people who have either been there or have more experience in these matters.:)
I don't agree.
Why should I not be able to say what I would look at getting if it was from my point of view... or infact what I would think about doing if i were in the situation.
Forums are all about opinions after all..:confused:
As i said in my first post i have phone them but only the friend of the family as this was the number i was given by the privite members club who told me via email as i was emailing them to check setting up times. good thing i did email them.
The family friend said he will speak to the husband and i gave him my number. i think he will phone me and i will ask if he would like to arrange a meeting so we can run things over. take the trusty pen and pad.
But thanks for all your help anyway. got to say this is a bit of a shock to me. i dont deal with death so i guess this could help me in a way. ???
Solitaire Events Ltd
17-01-2008, 05:08 PM
I don't agree.
Why should I not be able to say what I would look at getting if it was from my point of view... or infact what I would think about doing if i were in the situation.
Forums are all about opinions after all..:confused:
Agreed, but there are a lot of situations where you show your inexperience and immaturity by answering threads that you really should be leaving to others who do have the experience to answer.
This is not a dig at you or any others in particular, but there has been a lot of people recently posting about subjects of which they obviously have no clue about.
Agreed, but there are a lot of situations where you show your inexperience and immaturity by answering threads that you really should be leaving to others who do have the experience to answer.
This is not a dig at you or any others in particular, but there has been a lot of people recently posting about subjects of which they obviously have no clue about.
Darren of course I am inexperienced and immature to a point... I am a part time DJ and also 17 with only a few years of industry experience... but I do not see why it should stop me from having my opinion?
But don't worry.
I wont post about anything i'm not sure about in the future..
Solitaire Events Ltd
17-01-2008, 05:20 PM
Darren of course I am inexperienced and immature to a point... I am a part time DJ and also 17 with only a few years of industry experience... but I do not see why it should stop me from having my opinion?
And this is exactly what I'm talking about.
This is a publicly viewable forum. What happens if someone acts on incorrect advice or 'opinion'?
I'm not very technical, so therefore you won't see me trying to give advice on how to build speakers etc
And this is exactly what I'm talking about.
This is a publicly viewable forum. What happens if someone acts on incorrect advice or 'opinion'?
I'm not very technical, so therefore you won't see me trying to give advice on how to build speakers etc
Okey.
Not going to argue with you about it as it will obviously just go no where.
Is there anything i should and should'nt do......
I would be careful not to crack any "funnies"... even if it seems to suit the atmosphere of the occasion, there is always one person who will misinterpret a joke or take offence.
Think carefully about song titles and lyrics... "I just died in your arms tonight" certainly isn't really appropriate... but a celebration of someone's life is meant to be an upbeat occasion.
If someone gets upset and distressed... don't take it to heart... they are just upset, it isn't you.
Some songs are hard to listen to... they played Frank Sinatra's "My Way" at my father's funeral... I still can't listen to it, 2 years on, without a tear coming... but less than 6 months after his death, I took my mum on a cruise, and guess what the guitarist in the restaurant sang, at our table, every night? He didn't know... but it was pretty difficult to listen to him...
Remembering hurts... no doubt there will be plenty of tears at your gig...
Otherwise, just do your normal job... if death came at the end of a long illness, then everyone has already had a long time to get used to it, and at least the suffering is over.
I really think that you should leave threads like this to people who have either been there or have more experience in these matters.:)
I disagree completely. The whole point of a forum is that every member can take part. Everyone has something to contribute.
The readers of the forum can see everybody's comments, and then can choose for themselves which comments they wish to take notice of.
rob1963
29-01-2008, 05:05 PM
I really think that you should leave threads like this to people who have either been there or have more experience in these matters.:)
I disagree completely. The whole point of a forum is that every member can take part. Everyone has something to contribute.
Everyone has something to contribute, but the people who have been there have the MOST to contribute.
Corabar Steve
29-01-2008, 05:15 PM
MB3 Please learn how to use the multi quote button ( "+ )
Solitaire Events Ltd
29-01-2008, 05:49 PM
I disagree completely. The whole point of a forum is that every member can take part. Everyone has something to contribute.
Sorry, but that is just not true for every subject.
If there is a subject that you don't know about or understand then listen to others and learn, don't go wading in with an opinion when you have no idea what you are talking about.
I've said it before, I'm not technical, so you won't see me posting in these threads - I leave it to people who know what they are talking about.
As co-owner of this forum, I can be liable for things that people post, so am very careful about the things that people do post.
So unfortunately your comment of
"The readers of the forum can see everybody's comments, and then can choose for themselves which comments they wish to take notice of." isn't quite valid.
Everyone has something to contribute, but the people who have been there have the MOST to contribute.
Yes, that's true... I'll certainly agree with you on that.
MB3 Please learn how to use the multi quote button ( "+ )
Ah. I always wondered what that button was for. :bang:
Now- how do I multiquote Daz's last post into this box?
I've catered for Memorial nights beforehand and you know the best way to deal with it?....
Raise the roof. Forget treading on eggshells (although avoid anything completely moronic) and focus on doing what all good DJs should do and entertain the crowd your paid to entertain.
You've probably played gigs where someone in the crowd has been affected by something like this, so I'd advise to focus as little as possible on what not to play, and get out there and CELEBRATE this womans life.
Cancer, amongst other tragedies, is a sad fact of life. Music can be good therapy.
There will probably be a sad song which is requested, but leave that til the end of the night.
Hope it goes well ;)
Corabar Steve
29-01-2008, 07:15 PM
Now- how do I multiquote Daz's last post into this box?You can't after the event that would have to be an edit.
I've catered for Memorial nights beforehand and you know the best way to deal with it?....
Raise the roof. Forget treading on eggshells (although avoid anything completely moronic) and focus on doing what all good DJs should do and entertain the crowd your paid to entertain.
You've probably played gigs where someone in the crowd has been affected by something like this, so I'd advise to focus as little as possible on what not to play, and get out there and CELEBRATE this womans life.
Cancer, amongst other tragedies, is a sad fact of life. Music can be good therapy.
There will probably be a sad song which is requested, but leave that til the end of the night.
Hope it goes well ;)
I see what you are saying but i would of thought it would be best to play a happy song at the end so people leave in a good mood and not crying when leaving.
DJ Davy
29-01-2008, 11:00 PM
Hi, been there, it is a difficult one. I spoke to the father and mother of the young girl and suggested that they say a few words (if they felt comfortable) at the beginning of the night. Dad thanked all of the guests, suggested donations to the hospital, toasted his daughter and then told everybody to party. From then on its up to you to make the night, obviously as said before avoiding certain songs if possible. The gig I done was hard, you play songs and hear some words, then cringe... maybe I was reading too much into it! Hope it goes well.
Well here we go.
Iv just got back from doing the disco and it went really well. Gave myself 2 hours to setup (to be on the safe side) and check everything.
Met with the client who gave me some cd's to play and i did.
I played Endless Love as this was there wedding song. A lot of people were crying, which then made me get a bit upset even though i didnt know her. So i just kept my eyes facing the laptop screen so i didnt shed a tear.
Had a few people come up to me at the end of the gig saying how well i did and gave god comments on the full LED light show.
As the widows wife (if im correct there) like to play they had 1 game of bingo for a prize of a DVD player. Went really well.
Overall the gig went really well. No problems and it was easy to talk to people. I even talked on the mic aswell. :D :lol:
:thumbs_up:
Glad it all went well for you.
Penfold42
03-02-2008, 10:12 AM
Well done Tom......:)
djsteve10
03-02-2008, 10:31 AM
Glad you had a good one Tom,
That was good experience for you i have to say and will have built your confidence more!
wensleydale
03-02-2008, 10:34 AM
good work fella
robbiedj
03-02-2008, 01:51 PM
Well done, mate.
It probably wasn't as hard as you thought it would be.
Solitaire Events Ltd
03-02-2008, 02:11 PM
Yep, well done Tom.
It will probably be one of the hardest gigs you'll have to do, so it's a good bit of experience for you.
rob1963
03-02-2008, 03:03 PM
Yep, well done Tom.
It will probably be one of the hardest gigs you'll have to do, so it's a good bit of experience for you.
Agreed.
Nice one, Tom.
Now you only have the weddings to crack!
:)
Well done, mate.
It probably wasn't as hard as you thought it would be.
TBH it was ok. The family friend was the one who was arranging everything and he was very easy to talk to. made me feel better about it.
Agreed.
Nice one, Tom.
Now you only have the weddings to crack!
:)
Yeah. :lol:
Also i did take some pictures of the gig but i wont be posting any of them up as i dont think its right to do so.
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