Sad, poor guy.

[Shakermaker Promotions]

Hi all,

Back in January I was booked to do a charity breast cancer function on May 17th. The guy who booked me is a friend of a friend and I was recommended. When I had the meeting I found out that one of the main reasons for the function is that his mum was suffering from the disease and I met her briefly.

I had a call this morning from the guys aunty to say that sadly his mum passed away yesterday. I asked if they wanted to cancel the function (that's what I expected when I got the call), but she said no and that she was taking over the organisation of the night as the guy wasn't going to up to it at the moment, understandably.

I sent my condolenses and will also send them a card later today, mind you I am not sure if it's the right thing to do? Anyway, I thought it was really good of them at this bad time to think about me and let me know what's going on. I am not sure how I will handle it on the night though. It's going to be a pretty formal night with dinner, auction and raffle etc and me playing background music and then full on classics for about 90 minutes. I totally agree with the cause as my mum had a scare a few years back and had to have treatment but I don't know enough about it to be honest and don't want to say anything in case I muck up but on the other hand, I don't want to appear as if I don't care and am just another DJ if that makes sense.

To be honest, I don't usually plan out what I am going to say in advance and generally do it off the cuff on the night and have no problems, for some reason though, this feels a bit different.

[JAMdisco]

Absolutely!

You could have a word with the guys aunty and ask her if she (or someone else) wanted to say something on the night over the mic. i.e. something about celebrating her life and emphasize the importance of the charity.

A tricky one I know. Sometimes better to say nowt than put your size 9's in your mouth...

[Tom]

I had one of these and boy was it a hard disco for me to do. :(.

Maby ask what type of music they would like? When I had to do mine they wanted happy music as they wanted to remember her and have a good party. I think this is the best way but this is somthing you would need to check with.

As you already know maby be carefull with your music selection. I nearly made the made the mistake of playing a song but quickly changed it.

I hope this goes ok for you and the client. I know how you feel atm as I have been in this situation. :(

[Charlie Brown]

I had a call 2-3 days ago, and the husband was explaining they were going to have to cancel her 40th as she might not last all week, due to several brain tumours..

[Jiggles]

Its all nasty stuff :(

[Sam]

yeh..
My best friends aunt just died of Ovarian cancer..... the same thing my mum has...... :(:(

[Kernow]

I had a call 2-3 days ago, and the husband was explaining they were going to have to cancel her 40th as she might not last all week, due to several brain tumours..

That's really awful, but sadly an all too frequent occurence in peoples lives


Just for some closure....

Is this the one you mentioned in your dilemma recently Charlie ?

[DazzyD]

Gary

From the sheer fact that you've started this thread shows you're a caring, sensitive person. My advice is to go out there and be yourself - your sensitivity and compassion will shine through. And what better reason for the show to go on - in memory of someone who was clearly loved by everyone who's lives she touched. And it will be raising money to help others who are going through the cancer nightmare.

Just remember that this event has a new twist to it. Instead of just raising much needed money you'll be helping to celebrate someones life. I think that's a great honour.

[Shakermaker Promotions]

Thanks very much for that!

[DazzyD]

You're welcome.

My life has been touched by the sorrow that cancer brings so much so that I am part of a Blues Brothers/Soul show (I play Jake Blues which is the connection with my current avatar!) that started off doing charity gigs (the first being in aid of Cancer Research UK). I give my time for free because I can. Performing in aid of charity is written in to our Mission Statement and I have major respect for those who give their time and skills to help others.

And I always call things the way I see them which is what I was doing in my last post!

[UltraBeat Entertainment]

I remember i done a charity disco for cancer research. As there has been several scares in my family at the end of the night i donated half of my earning for that night to the charity.

It must have been heart breaking when you found that she had passed away as you were trying to raise money for her and people like her.

Terrible shame...

[Charlie Brown]

That's really awful, but sadly an all too frequent occurence in peoples lives


Just for some closure....

Is this the one you mentioned in your dilemma recently Charlie ?
Yep it sure is, I didn't charge them in the end ..

[Tom]

Yep it sure is, I didn't charge them in the end ..

I understand why you didn't but if you keep not charging people becuase someone has passed away your not going to make any money. I know its a tough gig but you are still doing a job.

[Jiggles]

I understand why you didn't but if you keep not charging people becuase someone has passed away your not going to make any money. I know its a tough gig but you are still doing a job.

If you show someone that you will do somthing liek that for free then it shows you that your not a bad person. You may loose the cost of one gig but you may pick up another 2 due to your kindness.

[Tom]

I disagree. If I give away one free gig then anybody will turn up and say that a famiy member has died on that day. I don't mind giving a discount but not a freebie. This is my job to entertain people and that comes at a price.

I have been in this position and I charged my usuall fee that was agreed with the client and myself and in the end I still got a tip becuase of the way I held the gig together. There was a lot of people crying but they didn't want me to stop. All they wanted to do was have a good time and remeber the good times they had this that person who had passed away.

[Kernow]

I disagree. If I give away one free gig then anybody will turn up and say that a famiy member has died on that day. I don't mind giving a discount but not a freebie. This is my job to entertain people and that comes at a price.

I have been in this position and I charged my usuall fee that was agreed with the client and myself and in the end I still got a tip becuase of the way I held the gig together. There was a lot of people crying but they didn't want me to stop. All they wanted to do was have a good time and remeber the good times they had this that person who had passed away.

If the gig goes ahead, yes I would agree you're entitled to payment.

But when it's cancelled because the person it's for has passed away on the same (or a near) day then that's totally different.

I think Charlie has acted entirely properly in the circumstances and I'm pretty sure he'll benefit greatly from the goodwill and compassion he has demonstrated. ;)

[Tom]

In that case, if the gig had t be cancelled then yeah if the whole ammount was paid then I would send the rest back but not the booking fee as this is non refundable (is they signed the t&c and sent them back in time).

[theoloyla]

Hi all,

Back in January I was booked to do a charity breast cancer function on May 17th. The guy who booked me is a friend of a friend and I was recommended. When I had the meeting I found out that one of the main reasons for the function is that his mum was suffering from the disease and I met her briefly.

I had a call this morning from the guys aunty to say that sadly his mum passed away yesterday. I asked if they wanted to cancel the function (that's what I expected when I got the call), but she said no and that she was taking over the organisation of the night as the guy wasn't going to up to it at the moment, understandably.

I sent my condolenses and will also send them a card later today, mind you I am not sure if it's the right thing to do?

To be honest, I don't usually plan out what I am going to say in advance and generally do it off the cuff on the night and have no problems, for some reason though, this feels a bit different.
Most important be yourself and say what you feel. Dont try to be clever or smooth - be sincere. Everyone drops gaffes now and then but if you worry about it too much it has the opposite and negative effect. Follow your heart but keep your brain switched on.

[Shakermaker Promotions]

Can I just say, from reading some of the posts about whether to do it for free or do things like this for free etc etc etc...

I have not agreed to do it for free. I have agreed to do it at a discounted price and the way I explained it was that IF they wanted to, they could put the amount that I have discounted them towards the charity OR they could take it as by me discounting, I have in theory also donated. If I ever do charity stuff then this is the way I go as I am a small business trying to survive just like everyone else.

I agree that IF you do it for free then it makes you look good and no doubt spreads the name about but I also agree that before long you will have a queue halfway down the road all claiming to be charities (maybe they are the real deal), all wanting something for nothing. I think the way I do it is in between and just right. I still get paid and they get a discount.

[theoloyla]

Can I just say, from reading some of the posts about whether to do it for free or do things like this for free etc etc etc...

I have not agreed to do it for free. I have agreed to do it at a discounted price and the way I explained it was that IF they wanted to, they could put the amount that I have discounted them towards the charity OR they could take it as by me discounting, I have in theory also donated. If I ever do charity stuff then this is the way I go as I am a small business trying to survive just like everyone else.

I agree that IF you do it for free then it makes you look good and no doubt spreads the name about but I also agree that before long you will have a queue halfway down the road all claiming to be charities (maybe they are the real deal), all wanting something for nothing. I think the way I do it is in between and just right. I still get paid and they get a discount.
Wise words!

[Solitaire Events Ltd]

Wise words!

Couldn't resist, sorry...:o

[theoloyla]

Very good!