Possible new design?

[DJWilson]

Thoughts and opinions please

http://www.gjroadshow.co.uk/test/

[Charlie Brown]

It's nice - a template I have seen used before (with a few people on the forum)

I'm not in a position to criticise your English :o but some of it isn't great.

Maybe get someone to write it for you?

I think you can have a cracking site but if it's poorly written then it's a waste of time.

On my business card it reads: "Charlie Browns Disco" - it should read "Charlie Brown's Disco"

A teacher said to me the other day, "if I picked this card up and noticed the spelling mistake...I'd put it straight in the bin - where it belongs"

[DJWilson]

It's nice - a template I have seen used before (with a few people on the forum)

I'm not in a position to criticise your English :0 ...but some of it isn't great.

Maybe get someone to write it for you?


The text is just there to fill space as a short term measure until I re-write it all :)

[rob1963]

Hi Nathan,

Just a few comments about your home page.

I don't like the bullet point "etc" under "areas covered". Etc is hardly a bullet point!

On your contact details, you give the email address as "nathan...." which isn't useable as it's clearly incomplete and is not a link either.

The "about us" information states that you've had "many years" of mobile disco experience...but you're only 17!

You also say "We started offering a high end mobile disco service from 2004 with the aim of being the best mobile disco service in the area". Were you REALLY doing that at the age of 11?

Hope this helps.

[DJWilson]

Thanks Rob, updated, ive got to re write the entire site when I work out what to say! :)

Cheers.

[funksoulbrother]

Hi Nathan, as Charlie has said I've also seen this template before, saying that it doesn't look too bad as long as you get your content and grammar right, use a spell checker.

Rob's comments are valid and I can see that you have amended some of the things that he pointed out. It will take time before you get it exactly right, and even then you will be updating it, on and off, as you see fit.

I've just published my new website, it got slated, I don't mind, as they were relevant comments and I am amending things. As I look at my website being my shop window of the services that I offer, I will continue using it, until I am able to afford a custom built site, which is what I aspire to get.

In the meantime, look at what other peoples websites are showing, read up the relevant threads on this website regarding web building, soaking up the information available and building up your knowledge, it will come right in the end.

regards Richard:cool: ;)

[discomobiledj]

Your footer has gone a bit wrong!

You don't need an booking form and an email link...and make it a contact form. The email link will only work if the punter uses a mail client like outlook.

Split the phone numbers up a bit, for example 01234 567 890

[DJWilson]

Thanks for all your feedback, the new design is now up and running, still tweaking with bits and pieces.

[discomobiledj]

Homepage:

Same photo for both images?

Disco page:

Your bullet points are not alligned with the rest of the page.

Your phone numbers still need spacing out. 01234 567 890 style.

[Corabar Entertainment]

You might want to either have a look at your coding or take off the W3C validated logos, since your site doesn't validate..... it comes up with 25 errors!

[DJWilson]

Done, just sorting the bullet points, cheers.