Last Night - Great.....BUT!

[Shakermaker Promotions]

Hi all,

Did a wedding last night for a couple of people that I know through others in a lovely venue just outside town. It was in a medium sized marquee on the grounds. When I went there on Monday to check out the situation regarding setting up etc, I met the manager, he photocopied my PLI and PAT and showed me where I would be situated in the marquee. He also said that I wouldn't need to bring a stand as they had their own. It was an ultimax stand on wheels that they said DJ's could use to save time. I said that I would rather use my own as my T-Bars were already wired up and wouldn't fit his stand...he was cool with that.

I didn't really like where I was set up. I had staff walking behind me as they were backwards and forwards collecting glasses etc etc. The bar had one of those LED display screens that had all the information on which I thought was a good idea. It had various messages on there which included.. "Congratulations to James and Laura".... "Your DJ tonight is Gary from Shakermaker Promotions who will play your requests"...and also "Please remember to book your taxis early" and had taxi firm numbers on there too. It was above the bar so not in people's faces.

Anyway, on the whole the night went really well. A varied age group. Not too many kids and not too many 'oldies'. 150 attended and a fair chunk of those danced all evening. I've got into a routine of trying to get the 'oldies' up for a bit over the last year or so and it seems to work. I play Andy Williams 'Can't take my eyes off you' straight after the first dance(s) and then go into stuff like Jackie Wilson, Arthur Conley, Stevie Wonder etc and as I said, it seems to work. So music wise everything was cool last night and lots of dancing.

What I did find a bit weird and if anyone has been to this venue before, you may understand what I mean (I won't name it just incase it comes up in Google searches as I don't want to be seen to be having a moan as they were very nice), was that last week I had my meeting with the B&G. We went through everything including first dance(s) timings etc etc. The Best Man even attended so he knew what was going on in advance which I thought was good. Everything was sorted.

I started at 7.30pm with background stuff and was approached by a lady from the venue who I hadn't met when I visited. She was very 'in your face', one of those people that doesn't move her eyes away from you if you know what I mean. She said "Right you must be Gary the DJ, I'm ******". We shook hands. "Let me tell you how it works here" she said.."The First Dance will happen at 8.00pm sharp"..."Er, excuse me?" I said..."I've already had a consultation with the Bride & Groom and we had arranged for 8.30pm"..."Hold on..." she said..."The way we work here is to strict timings and it works well. The buffet is at 8.30pm and we don't want any delays so 8.00pm sharp please if you could". I said 'ok' and she walked away and up to the best man (I assume she was telling him the same thing). He then came over to me looking confused. We both agreed that 8.00pm was a bit early as did the Bride & Groom but it seemed that the lady was adamant that they do it at 8.00pm so no'one argued (they should have). At 7.55pm the lady was stood about 5ft away from me checking her watch and said "One more".

As it happened, there were plenty of guests there at 8.00pm so lots of people got to see the first dance(s) etc BUT...Has anyone else had this kind of thing? Has anyone been dictated to by a venue?

I think it's out of order personally. We had everything planned following the meeting and the lady wouldn't have it. I actually asked the Bride & Groom at our meeting if they were having a buffet and what time it was being brought out and they said that it had been agreed that 9.00pm would be about right. It looked like the venue had moved the goal posts.

One more thing (sorry)...The guy in charge who I met when I visited the venue was quite funny but not really in a good way. Every other word that came out of his mouth was a swear word and at the end as I was packing down, he used the 'C' word. His exact words were "Right, let's get moving and get these :Censored:'s out of here". I get the feeling that this venue likes taking the money but doesn't actually like providing a service or if they do, it has to be done THEIR WAY.

If you want to know the venue then PM me as I won't mention it here. Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely venue and the staff are actually nice once you get used to them. I found it very weird.

[rob1963]

As it happened, there were plenty of guests there at 8.00pm so lots of people got to see the first dance(s) etc BUT...Has anyone else had this kind of thing? Has anyone been dictated to by a venue?


I've never had anything like this before, and find it extraordinary that a venue should dictate what time the bride & groom must have their first dance.

Did she also dictate what time they had to cut the cake, what time the bride had to throw her bouquet & what time the bride & groom had to leave?

:shrug:

[Shakermaker Promotions]

The Bride & Groom cut the cake and threw the bouquet before I got there. I think it was done in the afternoon as they had a large number of guests during the day. The thing is, from the venue's point of view, you could say that maybe they thought that there were plenty of people there to see the first dance?

I am in no way making excuses for them as I think it is big time out of order for a venue to dictate when a B&G should do important stuff like first dance(s) on their special day. I ALWAYS focus on the first dance(s) during our meetings and make sure the timing's are sorted to what the B&G want. I just wonder how they felt when they were told "8.00pm sharp!". I generally advise 8.30pm / 8.45pm as a number of the evening guests have arrived by then. On this occasion, 8.00pm and a number of the evening guests who may have wanted to see the first dance(s) have missed out.

One more thing I just remembered too - The Manager bloke who liked swearing. He actually told me to finish the night with 'Angels' by Robbie Williams. I said to him that I had 3 requested songs from the Bride & Groom that I had to play so I wouldn't be playing that and he said "Well, that's what we usually get the DJ's to do". I found that quite funny too because another thing I always do at meetings is ask what the B&G DON'T want to hear and if there is anything that may upset people for whatever reason. 'Angels' was a definite NO NO because the Brides sister died last year and it was played at the funeral. It would have been a very, very awkward situation had the Manager or whoever insisted I play it because "that's how we do things here".

Obviously, there is NO WAY I would have played it because I don't want to upset MY customer. I have a feeling that unless I have a private booking for that venue, I won't be going back because although it was a great night and although the venue gave me some great feedback...I didn't do what THEY wanted me to do, I did everything my way. I didn't use their stand, I didn't play 'Angels' etc etc...

[Paul The Party Dj]

Wow - glad this wasn't my booking!
Sounds like you did well considering the pressure - not sure I would have done. Obviously we all have different ideas but to have them dictated by the venue like this is not really healthy - especially if they haven't told anyone in advance. Perhaps the venue should consider publishing a time table and making sure all service providers and the Bride and Groom are in full agreement before the event.

What time do Receptions finish at this venue?
I'd have thought it was a fairly early finish.

As for the conduct of the "gentleman", language like that is wrong at any event - end of story. Perhaps he was having a bad day!
Sounds like the kind of venue who end up having all their own kit eventually.

[mike8863]

Actually, I had it last week, the "wedding co-ordinator", "told" me when to do the, cut the cake, first dance etc, just after i had arranged these with best man and B&G at the times they wanted.
So we obliged as it was all only 15 minutes before we agreed anyway. It just meant the Groom couldn't nip out for a ciggy with the best man...!!.
Having said that, it was very efficient, meals were served on time, finished on time etc. She was polite but forthwright, and hung around like a minder!!.
Oh it was a "de vere" establishment by the way.

[StarZSoundS]

She had an unbeliveable attitude.....and was actually compromising the B & G's evening.

You did well to keep your cool....well done!!!;) ;) ;)

[Shakermaker Promotions]

Paul, I was booked until Midnight by the B&G. I was told to finish dead on time and not a minute after. I was also told to not have too much bass and at 11pm to turn the volume down a bit and also my microphone.

I was told all of this in advance when I met the manager on my venue visit. When it came to last night I didn't drop the volume (it wasn't banging anyway and I assumed that all was well because he said nothing to me about it).

[simon1969]

Flippin eck!!!
You had your work cut out with that venue !!
Not sure if I would be able to keep my temper with venue staff!!
The Lady was looking at her watch oh that would have made me put my watch ten mins slower just to hack her off, it's the happy couple's day not venues.
You said the staff were nice it's the management that who need a kick up the:Censored:
I have come across venue's similar to this and I have told them it's not their
day and the customer is always right and they have backed down on a few ocassions...

[Shakermaker Promotions]

Starz - It was one of those situations where you knew you were on a loser if you started arguing or questioning her. I was very cool about it and I surprised myself (must be the tablets I'm on!). She gave me a little pot of peanuts at one point and said "There you Gary, that's your reward for keeping to the timing's"..I laughed out loud.

[CRAZY K]

Hi all,

Did a wedding last night for a couple of people that I know through others in a lovely venue just outside town. It was in a medium sized marquee on the grounds. When I went there on Monday to check out the situation regarding setting up etc, I met the manager, he photocopied my PLI and PAT and showed me where I would be situated in the marquee. He also said that I wouldn't need to bring a stand as they had their own. It was an ultimax stand on wheels that they said DJ's could use to save time. I said that I would rather use my own as my T-Bars were already wired up and wouldn't fit his stand...he was cool with that.

I didn't really like where I was set up. I had staff walking behind me as they were backwards and forwards collecting glasses etc etc. The bar had one of those LED display screens that had all the information on which I thought was a good idea. It had various messages on there which included.. "Congratulations to James and Laura".... "Your DJ tonight is Gary from Shakermaker Promotions who will play your requests"...and also "Please remember to book your taxis early" and had taxi firm numbers on there too. It was above the bar so not in people's faces.

Anyway, on the whole the night went really well. A varied age group. Not too many kids and not too many 'oldies'. 150 attended and a fair chunk of those danced all evening. I've got into a routine of trying to get the 'oldies' up for a bit over the last year or so and it seems to work. I play Andy Williams 'Can't take my eyes off you' straight after the first dance(s) and then go into stuff like Jackie Wilson, Arthur Conley, Stevie Wonder etc and as I said, it seems to work. So music wise everything was cool last night and lots of dancing.

What I did find a bit weird and if anyone has been to this venue before, you may understand what I mean (I won't name it just incase it comes up in Google searches as I don't want to be seen to be having a moan as they were very nice), was that last week I had my meeting with the B&G. We went through everything including first dance(s) timings etc etc. The Best Man even attended so he knew what was going on in advance which I thought was good. Everything was sorted.

I started at 7.30pm with background stuff and was approached by a lady from the venue who I hadn't met when I visited. She was very 'in your face', one of those people that doesn't move her eyes away from you if you know what I mean. She said "Right you must be Gary the DJ, I'm ******". We shook hands. "Let me tell you how it works here" she said.."The First Dance will happen at 8.00pm sharp"..."Er, excuse me?" I said..."I've already had a consultation with the Bride & Groom and we had arranged for 8.30pm"..."Hold on..." she said..."The way we work here is to strict timings and it works well. The buffet is at 8.30pm and we don't want any delays so 8.00pm sharp please if you could". I said 'ok' and she walked away and up to the best man (I assume she was telling him the same thing). He then came over to me looking confused. We both agreed that 8.00pm was a bit early as did the Bride & Groom but it seemed that the lady was adamant that they do it at 8.00pm so no'one argued (they should have). At 7.55pm the lady was stood about 5ft away from me checking her watch and said "One more".

As it happened, there were plenty of guests there at 8.00pm so lots of people got to see the first dance(s) etc BUT...Has anyone else had this kind of thing? Has anyone been dictated to by a venue?

I think it's out of order personally. We had everything planned following the meeting and the lady wouldn't have it. I actually asked the Bride & Groom at our meeting if they were having a buffet and what time it was being brought out and they said that it had been agreed that 9.00pm would be about right. It looked like the venue had moved the goal posts.

One more thing (sorry)...The guy in charge who I met when I visited the venue was quite funny but not really in a good way. Every other word that came out of his mouth was a swear word and at the end as I was packing down, he used the 'C' word. His exact words were "Right, let's get moving and get these ****'s out of here". I get the feeling that this venue likes taking the money but doesn't actually like providing a service or if they do, it has to be done THEIR WAY.

If you want to know the venue then PM me as I won't mention it here. Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely venue and the staff are actually nice once you get used to them. I found it very weird.

I worked in a venue near Tamworth no names (but SJS knows as he is working there) which was more or less Production Line Weddings R Us.

Probably Gary this is because they have tight time schedules and dealing with 150 people on catering has to organised efficiently.

I dont recall the requirement of the first dance but it was definitely run on a very tight time schedule==the under Manager was saying things like the tables will be cleared in xxxx minutes looking at his watch---he was spot on, maybe you should enquire next time with the venue just to check what their system is. I dont personally but then again I dont agree things like the time of the first dance--i just roll up and go with the flow.

Where its a private Wedding in a Private Marquee or Village Hall thats different.

Also re- the finish--dont forget the backroom boys who clear up afterwards want to get finished and to bed --and thats often very late--and they dont get paid a lot either so I can understand the person with the watch checking on you at the end ( not stated if they did lol)--see below:D

If the venue is booked till xx the Hotel and their staff dont have all night to hang around while the drunken guests relive their life stories and im trying to barge my way past them with the :Censored: Peaveys.:eek:

I think though this regimented approach only applies to the Hotels which run production line Weddings, although on Friday the very pleasant FOH Manager at my Wedding Reception said to me 5 minutes after the official finish--what time will you finish sir?

Which I took to be=== the staff here wont get to bed until 2am and they are not paid as well as you so lets get closed down--I have some sympathy for that argument and confirmed--this is the last one;)

[mike8863]

She gave me a little pot of peanuts at one point and said "There you Gary, that's your reward for keeping to the timing's"..I laughed out loud.

How patronising..............:Censored: :mad:





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[simon1969]

One more thing I just remembered too - The Manager bloke who liked swearing. He actually told me to finish the night with 'Angels' by Robbie Williams. I said to him that I had 3 requested songs from the Bride & Groom that I had to play so I wouldn't be playing that and he said "Well, that's what we usually get the DJ's to do". I found that quite funny too because another thing I always do at meetings is ask what the B&G DON'T want to hear and if there is anything that may upset people for whatever reason. 'Angels' was a definite NO NO because the Brides sister died last year and it was played at the funeral. It would have been a very, very awkward situation had the Manager or whoever insisted I play it because "that's how we do things here".


That's what the commandant said at Austwich (that's the way we do things here) but he still got hanged!!
God help anyone else who has a wedding here venue managers like that make me!! :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
As I said before I couldn't keep my mouth shut and he would remember me i'll tell you!!!
Well done for keeping your cool I wouldn't have !!!

[mark@pegasus]

I had one at a local golf club where the manageress insisted I did the first dance to there timing as the kitchen staff wanted to go home, as it happened the brides father was not in the building and so after speaking to the bride I refused to play the 1st dance until he was back staff not happy bride very happy. At the end of the day yes venue co-operation is important but if you are contractd by the B&G you do as they request (within reason)

[rob1963]

The Manager bloke who liked swearing. He actually told me to finish the night with 'Angels' by Robbie Williams. I said to him that I had 3 requested songs from the Bride & Groom that I had to play so I wouldn't be playing that and he said "Well, that's what we usually get the DJ's to do".

It gets worse...not only are the venue dictating the timing of the first dance, but they're trying to tell you which song you should finish with!

To be honest, I'm quite surprised they didn't want to choose the FIRST dance as well!

Unbelievable.

[rob1963]

Actually, I had it last week, the "wedding co-ordinator", "told" me when to do the, cut the cake, first dance etc, just after i had arranged these with best man and B&G at the times they wanted.
So we obliged as it was all only 15 minutes before we agreed anyway. It just meant the Groom couldn't nip out for a ciggy with the best man...!!.
Having said that, it was very efficient, meals were served on time, finished on time etc. She was polite but forthwright, and hung around like a minder!!.
Oh it was a "de vere" establishment by the way.

Sounds like you were unlucky.

I regularly work at all four De Vere venues in my home county and have never had any problems at all.

[simon1969]

She gave me a little pot of peanuts at one point and said "There you Gary, that's your reward for keeping to the timing's"..I laughed out loud.

That's what They had left after paying the staff Gary !!!
That pot of peanuts would have been put where the sun doesn't shine!!! :mad: :mad:

[DJ Jules]

My response to her would have been very simple - "as long as that has been agreed with the Bride & Groom, that's fine". I have no problem with venues having times when they do things, but as a DJ and as a customer of the venue I'd have been livid that the "strict time schedule" wasn't discussed in advance of the day with all involved and that the venue decided to impose it on the night without consultation.

From my own experience, on my own wedding day we agreed timings with the venue in advance and put serious pressure on them on the day to get us in, sat down and the main meal served because they seemed to think that an agreed time of 13:00 for the meal, actually meant 14:30. Just in case anyone is wondering, my in-laws ended up paying about 80% of the cost of our day back because the venue screwed up the timings so badly (the buffet came out early before the evening guests had arrived and was cleared away again within 45mins - myself and my wife never even saw it!) - something your venue might want to consider before messing around with people schedules again.

Julian

[simon1969]

My response to her would have been very simple - "as long as that has been agreed with the Bride & Groom, that's fine". I have no problem with venues having times when they do things, but as a DJ and as a customer of the venue I'd have been livid that the "strict time schedule" wasn't discussed in advance of the day with all involved and that the venue decided to impose it on the night without consultation.

From my own experience, on my own wedding day we agreed timings with the venue in advance and put serious pressure on them on the day to get us in, sat down and the main meal served because they seemed to think that an agreed time of 13:00 for the meal, actually meant 14:30. Just in case anyone is wondering, my in-laws ended up paying about 80% of the cost of our day back because the venue screwed up the timings so badly (the buffet came out early before the evening guests had arrived and was cleared away again within 45mins - myself and my wife never even saw it!) - something your venue might want to consider before messing around with people schedules again.

Julian

That's awful too venues dont seem to realise there are plenty of them and treating people like cattle isn't good business and leaving a buffet out for 45mins is insane!!!
I hope your in-laws complained, if you hire a place it is not peanuts it's a lot money people pay for these type of functions and this should be represented with the service you recieve.
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
Not always the case as we have heard on this forum time and time again!!!

[TonyB]

I had a similar thing happen at a lovely venue. It is a privately owned mansion house and the owners have a marquee in the grounds next to a lake. The owner phoned me twice before the gig to check on timings and what time I would be there. I thought at the time he was just the coordinator but later learnt he was the owner. He took over the organising with all the suppliers and I ended up with very little contact with the bride and groom.

Seemed to be okay when I arrived to do an early set up but talking to him, he seemed to have a dislike of DJ's. He had installed a limiter in the marquee to control the sound level. As the evening went on, I got a bit fed up of him telling me how to do my job. The finish time was 11.30pm and he told me to wind it down at 11.15pm. I had a floor full of dancers so kept it going right up to the end but he became really stroppy at 11.25pm and told me if I didn't finish dead on 11.30pm, he would cut the power.

Didn't seem to matter that the B&G had paid thousands to use the venue, he just wouldn't allow it to run a couple of minutes over (I had two tracks to go that were requested by the B&G and had to fade out one in the middle so I could play the final track they asked for otherwise I would have finished about 2 minutes late). The venue is in the middle of nowhere so there weren't any neighbours to worry about with noise.

The staff didn't seem to be very happy either and it did seem all the "boss" was interested in was taking the money and getting rid of everyone as soon as possible.

If I get asked to do another gig there, I will politely decline!

[Shakermaker Promotions]

Can I just make the point though that the night was a great success despite the venue management etc. I just made sure that everything was co-ordinated via the Best Man. He relayed the information to the Bride & Groom and I think they just went with the flow to be fair and more or less did as they were told. It's wrong I know and if I were them I would've certainly stuck to my guns and said that plans had already been put in place regarding first dance(s) etc. That would have been very interesting. I guess they didn't want any problems etc..

[StarZSoundS]

I guess they didn't want any problems etc..

Yep....there are a lot of adverse comments on here about B &G's being difficult and a pain.....

But I have to say 99% of the time I have found them to be magnificent in their attitude..............;) ;) ;)

[Shakermaker Promotions]

I'd agree with that. I don't think I have had many Bride or Groomzilla's, if any.