new website is up.

[Rowleys]

OK I think i have done all i can with the site on my own now and need some fresh eyes to look over it

Thanks

Dave

http://www.rowleysdiscos.co.uk

[soundtracker]

Header - ROWLEYS - Should be ROWLEY'S


Page one - Line one "Rowleys Mobile Entertainment is one of the best mobile discos in the west midlands"

SAYS WHO?
No point making claims that are not possible to substantiate, and no punter with an ounce of nous is going to fall for that!

Punctuation and grammar!

Page 2

Spelling

Page 3 - Discos

"We hold the biggest selection of music from the 50's to the present day."

Compared to who, and how do you know??

Punctuation and grammar!

Page 3 - Karaoke

We can record all the karaoke singer's and song's on the night live and
give you a CD with them all on so you can remember your event for
year's to come

Is this legal??

Punctuation and grammar

Page 3 - TXT 2 Screen -

MESSANGING????????

Also message on screenshot - "I'm a good guy, any girls want to come to my house"

Very classy!

Page 4

"Please Enter your email our this form will fail"

eek!

Spelling

Calendar - Grammar!

Booking Payment - Grammar, Spelling, Punctuation!

Page 5 Gallery - Grammar & Punctuation!

Videos - ditto

Feedback

"CLICK HERE TO LEAVE US A TESTIMONIALS"

FAQS

Punctuation & Grammar

[Rowleys]

How would you put it ? my mind goes total blank when it come to try and sell my self ?

[soundtracker]

How would you put it ? my mind goes total blank when it come to try and sell my self ?

You need to decide what your USP (Unique selling point) is. What sets you apart from the rest, what should make a client want to book you. People are unlikely to be swayed by anything that you say which is "bigging yourself up!"

Try something like "High quality mobile disco entertainment with a customer-focused attitude at a reasonable price." Don't make claims that are untrue for instance "An experienced wedding DJ" if you're 12 years old - its likely people will see straight through it!

[Rowleys]

Yeh i think i will use that .

and my spelling is bad :( wish i stayed in school ahah

[discomobiledj]

Apart from the above....

CHECK payment? Are you based in America now? Should be cheque.

You need to go back through and correct all the grammar and spelling yourself before making it live.

To be honest there is far too much to comment on.

[deltic]

best advice Rowley............get a professional to do it for you,well worth the cost

[Rowleys]

Do what the website text ??? or the hole site please dont say the hole site i will get mad

[discomobiledj]

Do what the website text ??? or the hole site please dont say the hole site i will get mad

Exactly what I mean on your website!

It needs to be completely proof read and corrected before the site even went live.

[yourdj]

i think it looks nice.
simple and with the above wording and spelling changes it would look nice IMO.

The videos however would be the first thing as a client i would go too.

There are hardly any non cheesy modern tracks in there at all especially in the 21st birthday section! Tracks like vengaboys etc. would be a definite no no but i suppose everyone is different.

The dance floor is always busy which is a big plus point.
How many DJ sites have videos of amazing light shows and just some kid and granny in the middle :D

I would add just the charts and maybe one classic like dont stop me now not the other way round. :)

[Rowleys]

Toby yeh im redoing the videos for the site. There just videos i found i uploaded on youtube.

[Rowleys]

ok loads of edit being done.

Is there anything else ?

[discomobiledj]

I am a mobile DJ working in the West Midlands area which has being entertaining for the last 5 years

Spot the error

We hold a vast array of music rangeing from 1950's up to the present day charts and always bring all our music out with us so we wont miss a song you want played.

TXT-2-SCREEN MESSANGING

Not the best picture.

Gallery Pictures & Video - Apostrophes!!!

Feedback

I know that they should be put on the site "as sent" but really!

I assume you have copied the FAQ's from elsewhere as there are no glaring errors on there.

[soundtracker]

Spot the error

We hold a vast array of music rangeing from 1950's up to the present day charts and always bring all our music out with us so we wont miss a song you want played.

TXT-2-SCREEN MESSANGING

Not the best picture.

Gallery Pictures & Video - Apostrophes!!!

Feedback

I know that they should be put on the site "as sent" but really!

I assume you have copied the FAQ's from elsewhere as there are no glaring errors on there.

Echo!