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Excalibur
27-01-2012, 04:03 PM
Well chaps and chapesses ( cos we've recently acquired a couple more of them. Pop in and say hello to them if you haven't already, it's only polite after all, and some of us are very keen on politeness. ) Ihave referred many times to an ancient Chinese curse "May you live in interesting times ". Life's never boring, when you have a van like mine. Oh the fun I've had slipstreaming cyclists, so I can slingshot past them on the long straights. I rather fancy one of those DRS thingies that the F1 lads have, but with less than seventy horsepower, and an all up weight of over five tonnes at times I think I'd actually need booster rockets! :( :( :o :o :o

So, picture the scene, a nearby customer's forklift failed to roar into life recently, so we charged the battery, and having replaced it, were gutted to see even less life in the system. Off we went to acquire a new super duper battery to persuade the old girl to play the game. Bad news. Old battery tested fine, so fault is in forklift. Fabulous, cos the wiring in it is absolutely :Censored: beyond belief.

Never mind, since ninety per cent of the bits in the cabin haven't worked for years, ripping out surplus bits of equipment is no barrier, as long as we can get the thing to start and move ( the only electrical requirements on it at the moment ) then that's fine.

So, we are returning home resigned to chasing wires and fuses on this forklift, and proceeding at our normal leisurely pace, when my passenger asks
"What's on fire? Blimey, we are!! " :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: The cabin fills with smoke and the stench of melting plastic, so we shudder to a halt, and lift the bonnet to hit the kill switch. By this time the conflagration has ceased, so we take stock of the situation. Having calmed down a litle, we find that the old girl will start, and the main casualties appear to be the instruments, as this was where the main smoke was coming from. We limp home, and further investigation reveals that our initial diagnosis was correct.

No fuses have blown, so this morning sees me removing the dashboard, steering wheel and tachograph, in order to find wires I've never even seen before! :eek: :eek: :eek: In the process, I think I found the immobiliser which once worked so well that it immobilised the van against my will one day. :( A single wire disappearing into the hidden bits of the loom is the obvious culprit, since it has no insulation left on it, and it's melted in two. Tests reveal that it no longer is live, so it can probably be taped up and left to its own devices. Hopefully. A fused ignition feed is found, and all the dead bits come to life when it's connected. Hurrah! :banana: Reassembly is close to a reversal of the disassembly procedure, and once again I'm mobile. And cold, cos I haven't a garage to work in. :( :( Still, it could have been so much worse.

Dr Spin
27-01-2012, 04:32 PM
..........a nearby customer's forklift failed to roar into life recently............

A forklift ?!?!? Just how heavy are your subs? :beer1:

Solitaire Events Ltd
27-01-2012, 06:25 PM
It's like an episode of 'Last of the summer wine'...:sj:

Shaun
27-01-2012, 06:48 PM
It's like an episode of 'Last of the summer wine'...:sj:

:zip:

hammy
27-01-2012, 07:30 PM
I was gonna say "why dont you super impose Peters face on", On closer inspection you have. :rofl: :rofl: :clap2: :rofl: :rofl:

Excalibur
27-01-2012, 08:06 PM
Shaun, I have to applaud your skill with Photoshop or whatever digital trickery you use. :claphands: Nevertheless, I shall still be forced to exact some form of retribution. :Naughty:

Solitaire Events Ltd
27-01-2012, 09:04 PM
LMAO!!

Brilliant Shaun.

(And I thought the same as Hammy!)

Shaun
28-01-2012, 12:10 AM
I was gonna say "why dont you super impose Peters face on", On closer inspection you have. :rofl: :rofl: :clap2: :rofl: :rofl:


LMAO!!

Brilliant Shaun.

(And I thought the same as Hammy!)

:lol: I don't know what's worse for Peter. The photochop, or you two not initially noticing any difference between Peter & Compo. :D


Shaun, I have to applaud your skill with Photoshop or whatever digital trickery you use. :claphands: Nevertheless, I shall still be forced to exact some form of retribution. :Naughty:

I've no doubt you will. I'll just have to remember not to fall asleep drunk in reception at BPM....I'd like to keep my eyebrow. :d

Excalibur
28-01-2012, 07:12 AM
:lol: I don't know what's worse for Peter. The photochop, or you two not initially noticing any difference between Peter & Compo. :D


It's worse than that!! :eek: :eek: When I showed Jeanette it, she thought it ws Compo's face as well!! :( :( :(

hammy
28-01-2012, 08:17 AM
It's worse than that!! :eek: :eek: When I showed Jeanette it, she thought it ws Compo's face as well!! :( :( :(

................. :laughup:

DAVESOUNDS SERVICES
28-01-2012, 08:42 AM
What a jolly post to wake up to!
as im munching my Bacon butty Mrs Sounds has loveingly
prepared!.Allthough ive had my head inside Peters Chariot Of Fire i cant
actually remember what brand of white auto it is!
However as one of my "Collegues" LDV van once spontaniousy combusted then im guessing its one from that stable.
Good luck Peter and thanks for brightening up my otherwise drab day
finally submitting my on-line tax return!

katman
28-01-2012, 09:23 AM
finally submitting my on-line tax return!

...but there is a whole 3 days 13 hours until the HMRC website keels over as everyone tries to complete their return before the deadline :D