Wake

[Daryll]

Well after doing two weddings back to back , I have a wake on Friday.
I was asked by a lady on Saturday ( now a relation) , now I have never done a wake before , the music will start off with oops up side your head , and then 80`s and 90`s club classics through out the evening ,that is what she wanted.
Now I have no problem with the music , but...................
The wake is in memory of a lady who died at 32 years old , from cancer , leaving two daughters , aged 3 and 7 , now that hurts, and tugs heavily on my heart strings , there is no question of not doing the gig , guess I am asking for a bit of moral support from anyone who has done this sort of thing before , only instructions are , no slow songs , and everybody has to enjoy them selves.
Any words of wisdom will be appreciated.

Cheers

Daryll

[Jim - Scotland's Party DJ]

I haven't DJ'd per se at a wake but I did set up the PA and let a mate run a playlist on my gear for the wake of a friend of his who I knew a little.

The music was all the guys favourite kind of tunes (tonnes of prog rock) and although I wasn't too sure about some of the song choices lyric wise, everyone seemed to enjoy it and it made a difference to the atmosphere. I wouldn't say it was a party as such but it certainly wasn't a dour miserable occasion.

[DazzyD]

Daryll, there's no denying you've taken on a difficult gig there and it will get emotional.

The thing is, with the lady dying from cancer, she knew it was coming and she had time to think about how she wanted to her wake to be. It was probably her idea to have all upbeat songs as she wouldn't have wanted any sadness especially with her young family around. But, being realistic, people are going to get emotional. There will be tears and drinking and we all know what that can lead to (although we all hope it doesn't for the sake of her young family).

But you can influence the atmosphere a little with the music you play which, I guess, is what she wanted to happen. Some guests may see it as disrepectful to be having a full-blown party at a wake so make it clear that it's what the lady wanted and that she wanted her guests to remember happier times and to have a good time (if that's at all possible) in her memory.

I've done several wakes over the years and they're not my favourite gig. But, stick to what the client wants and you should get through it! Good luck! :)

[Excalibur]

I've done a couple, and normally they follow the pattern that initially everyone feels guilty to be enjoying themselves, or having fun at such an occasion, and by the end it ends up as a fairly normal function, as people relax. Dazzy's advice above is spot on in my opinion.

[Jonathan Ford]

Yeah, good advice so far.

The last one of these I did was a very similar situation, only the woman was a little older with teenage daughters. They danced all night, as they said it was what their mum would have wanted. It was a beautiful summer evening in a cricket club pavilion just by the river in my home town, and there were a couple of occasions when I must have got something in my eye ;) . I remember at the time commenting on here that it seemed perhaps more poignant than a wedding, but as others have said, it does turn into a normal event (If there is such a thing).

Could I also ask a gentle favour from other members (apologies moderators if I'm overstepping the mark)? The thread for the event above was invaded with some inappropriate song suggestions. Somehow, the ex-husband of the lady that had passed away found the thread and...well, you can imagine the rest. It'd be nice if this didn't go the same way :beer1::beer1::beer1:.