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Corabar Entertainment
29-10-2006, 01:36 AM
I know these have been doing the rounds for ages, but they still raise a smile :)


In an Office building:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE
LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT
BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON
THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING
YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN ?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE
ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

In a Medical Centre:
FAMILY PLANNING ADVICE
PLEASE USE REAR ENTRANCE

Candybeatdiscos
29-10-2006, 10:39 AM
In a Medical Centre:
FAMILY PLANNING ADVICE
PLEASE USE REAR ENTRANCE

class i aint heard that one before....

Rattz
30-10-2006, 03:15 PM
On the pram we bought:

Please remove child before folding.

Danno13
30-10-2006, 03:23 PM
Heres that last one in real life..

Corabar Entertainment
30-10-2006, 03:53 PM
On the pram we bought:

Please remove child before folding.Brilliant! :eek:

robbiedj
22-11-2006, 08:52 PM
One to state the obvious


On the pack of matches bought by Carol for the college science dept:-

Caution. Flammable.

:what:

Corabar Entertainment
22-11-2006, 09:40 PM
One to state the obvious


On the pack of matches bought by Carol for the college science dept:-

Caution. Flammable.

:what:Response: Well I flippin' well hope so!!!!!! :p :p

BeerFunk
22-11-2006, 09:55 PM
If these warnings were not there, some complete idiot would end up taking them to court after toasting himself :eek:

Corabar Steve
22-11-2006, 10:11 PM
I once saw written on the label of a legal bottle of Poitín (potcheen / poteen / however you spell it) "Caution contents flamable" :eek: :eek:

Silver
25-11-2006, 12:41 PM
This cracks me up..........recently bought a packet of rice crackers for my 2 year old at a Chinese supermarket. Ok - RICE CRACKERS.........on the packet is a warning.......IF IT GETS IN MOUTH OR EYES BY ACCIDENT, WASH WITH WATER PROMPTLY AND SEE A DOCTOR FOR FURTHER TREATMENT.

Errr hello, they are crackers for EATING! http://planetsmilies.net/not-tagged-smiley-12860.gifhttp://planetsmilies.net/happy-smiley-619.gif

Pierre Le Sound
25-11-2006, 02:42 PM
On certain brands of peanut butter, it states that....

This produce contains traces of nuts. Really?

Corabar Entertainment
25-11-2006, 02:47 PM
The most worrying thing about that is that it only contains 'traces'!!!

What is the majority ingredient in there then????? :confused: :eek: :confused: :eek:

Corabar Steve
25-11-2006, 02:48 PM
The most worrying thing about that is that it only contains 'traces'!!!

What is the majority ingredient in there then????? :confused: :eek: :confused: :eek:

Soya beans??

Pierre Le Sound
25-11-2006, 05:03 PM
On the back of a packet of NYTOL, as on TV, the back of the pack carries a warning......MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.:confused: :confused:

Have a disco
25-11-2006, 05:49 PM
I remember a record shop down oxford street a few years ago with this signage called

Attic records & Cassettes - For Enterance Please follow signs down to basement??