Critique my intro

[Benny Smyth]

When it comes to the introduction/cake cutting/first dance, I always try to make it feel a bit special (especially the first dance).

Tonight I recorded my intro and I was hoping to get some feedback on what I do and, in particular, any areas I can improve.

Don't expect to be amazed by video production. This was literally taken with generating feedback in mind. :)


https://youtu.be/LWSNLD_igVs

[leelive]

When it comes to the introduction/cake cutting/first dance, I always try to make it feel a bit special (especially the first dance).

Tonight I recorded my intro and I was hoping to get some feedback on what I do and, in particular, any areas I can improve.

Don't expect to be amazed by video production. This was literally taken with generating feedback in mind. :)


https://youtu.be/LWSNLD_igVs

Very good light show. Love the control.....
You are very professional.... what you do works really well. It's not my style... I am a total minimalist on the mic..
Do you have a check list before beginning? ie. Parents in room, photographer ready.... knife for cutting cake in place!
All the best

[Nakatomi]

Excellent, but I'd say it was quite wordy. I'm not a total minimalist on the mic like Lee, but I find things don't need quite so much explanation. Maybe just a style difference, but I like to pretty much cut to the chase by comparison. Cake cut, introduce the first dance encouraging a big cheer & let them get on with it. Your style seems very friendly & upbeat though, and the lighting cues definitely make a big impact. I'd probably cut the 'Strictly' music down a bit so it was more of a 'sting'.

As an experiment a few months ago I stopped asking for people's attention. I still get it in spades & overall the response seems much more positive. I didn't change anything else about my introductions other than saying "the new Mr & Mrs.." rather than just the couple's first names.

Are you looking to use anything like this on your site as a demo of your work? If so I'd be tempted to record your audio directly from the mixer & dub it in post so you can get the best quality and still include the noise the guests make.

[funkymook]

At 'there are some formalities we need to adhere to’ I thought you were going to point out the fire exits : )

The cake cutting should be fun and joyous, not just a formality to get through before the party.

[yourdj]

Gary sized post from me for once. ;)

Thats great, nice you are putting this out for critique, its a very hard thing to do, but the best way to learn. :) I might try one next, have not done one for years (I don't think). Cant stand watching myself back and especially getting critique, but its important to do it. I have a series of all days coming up with assistance so will get some done.

I love the enthusiasm and non speech type style, took me years to get out of toastmaster type announcements as that was my initial training. i remember Darren saying it was not natural years back so have worked on that. You say too much if you ask me - too much waffle. i would try and script it better and really get the key points across. Still like the delivery, very unique and I would say very impressive to the crowd and venue, whom are probably not used to seeing such a level of skill.

Love the lighting. The no knife thing is probably one of the biggest balls up of any duty manager/host, especially in marquees, where the caterer might not have one. I always check before hand and usually (if necessary) clean it first. You turned it into a joke and if you asked me added to the occasion. Some times a balls up can be made into one of the most memorable parts of the day (we have all seen the registrar get the names wrong or the grooms phone goes off etc.) :)

You might benefit from coming out of the booth and delivering the speech from there, you can then direct the couple for the cake cut (especially as there is no photographer) and its just more personal if you ask me. I always like people to stand and gather around for that, so that the couple are not all alone on the dance. When standing it makes them more obliged to join in. looks like a cramped room mind you. In terms of the bride and groom I would usually make an entrance. in that case, removing people from the door way, and getting them to enter via there on the applause. Just think its a nice touch for them, especially if they have not had much formality all day. :)

If you had a photographer I would have double checked that they are expecting the lights to suddenly darken. It looks quite dark on video but is probably not as bad in the room. The same with the first dance, because on camera that would look like a nuclear hollocaust. personally I position the lighting up at least for the first min or two. Again room might not facilitate that. ;)

All in all great job and that something every DJ wanting to do announcements should aspire too.

[Shakermaker Promotions]

Ha! Ha! Toby, that wasn't a 'Gary sized post' at all but you're getting there. I agree with a lot of what has been said already.
If I could add my own thoughts, they would be as follows....

Firstly, fair play to you for putting this up. There may be quite a few people that will take some tips away from it after watching.
I personally think that your voice over the mic is very clear and that's always a good thing.
I think there may have been a bit too much talking but then saying that, it IS a moment where you need the guests attention. I don't imagine you are that full on throughout the evening?
I agree with Martin about making it fun and it's just the choice of words (adhere to for example) that I found a bit 'iffy' but other than that I thought it was good.

I do like the lighting like others have said and obviously some work has been put into that. A lot of my lighting is on sound to light and I just have simple white revolving white for the first dance. I am actually meeting up with someone next week and having a crash course on DMX with the idea of possibly using my moving heads which I have hardly used since I bought them as I'd be interested in doing the same kind of thing.

Thanks for posting.

[DeckstarDeluxe]

Very good though personally I think the countdown for the cake cutting and the intro to the first dance was a tad dare I say it cheesey.

In terms of the lighting it's good but hard for people to take photos in that environment I would of thought?

[surround sounds]

Very Good
I have to say intro for 1st dance i felt over the top especially i find the groom normally wants to get 1st dance out of the way asap.
Lights look good and i know that small village hall very well.
Excellent overall

[Andy P]

Need to have a look at this later - was too busy at weekend

[Benny Smyth]

Thanks to everyone who has given me feedback. I have purposely waited a few days to respond myself as I didn't want to come across as defensive by replying to every post, but what has been said has been taken on board.

So the general consensus, as far as I can tell, is mostly about two points: maybe a bit too long and using the phrase 'a couple of formalities to adhere to'. I have been pondering about what to use instead with regards the latter and last night I said something to the effect of 'a couple of bits of convention'. Is that better? Do I need to ponder harder? With regards to length, that's easily done.

I'm pleased that the lighting has gone down mostly well. It has been something that I have tweaked a lot over the years and probably will tweak more as I go along. I often have a chat with photographers on the evening before everything kicks off anyway so they know what's coming, and I work with them by giving them a quick demo. To date, I would say 90% of photographers are happy with what I use for lighting (and they do get a choice as to whether the cake is spotlighted or not), and in all fairness they do know what's coming so they can adjust their settings accordingly. Most of them are just happy that I don't have cluster lasers, to be fair. :lol:

I kinda like the idea of going out in front to help guide the bride and groom. Now, traditionally, this would be the duty manager of the venue's responsibility to help guide as I talk but seeing as this was a village hall, there was no such person in such a role so maybe that was an oversight on my part. However, saying that, there are a lot of buttons that need pressing so I'll have to think of a way of firing off everything away from the booth should I ever end up in that situation again.

With regards to cake cutting countdown, that was actually included based on feedback from quite a few photographers. I've not quite understood it myself, but saying that it's another chance to get the crowd cheering and clapping and that's always a nice experience. As for the strictly theme, yes it is cheesy but there is nothing wrong with a little bit of cheese (it's probably the cheesiest thing I do all night, to be fair! :lol:). Embrace the cheddar, Neil. ;)

And John, since you know that venue I assume that means you are fully aware of the woman who the mother and father of the bride referred to as a 'horrible ogre'. ;)

Again, many thanks for the feedback. It really is appreciated. :)

[Nakatomi]

.. using the phrase 'a couple of formalities to adhere to'. I have been pondering about what to use instead with regards the latter and last night I said something to the effect of 'a couple of bits of convention'. Is that better? Do I need to ponder harder? With regards to length, that's easily done.


You could call them traditions. That'd be better than formalities or conventions IMHO. Or you could just call parts of the night exactly what they are - i.e. the cutting of the cake & the first dance of the B&G. I think I can see what you're trying to do - finding a way to say things differently.. but you run the risk of sounding irreverent

[DeckstarDeluxe]

To be fair I go with formalities, I don't see anything wrong with it unless you're saying it like you're reading a book rather than with some gusto or personality (and I don't mean that in a Pontins redcoat kinda way).

[ckpr2]

I thought you were very good.

The groom kept looking at you for a lead and you kept things moving for him.

Great light show. Loved the spots on the couple and cake.

[rth_discos]

Love the lighting Benny.

Annoyingly, I always feel that no-one really *notices* it, but they probably do without realising it, and it just adds to the overall impression.

Were the Bride and Groom aware that you'd be playing the Strictly theme before their first dance? It looked a bit like they weren't sure what was happening at that point?

I also feel that the phrase "adhere to" was a bit formal - let's not forget they've probably spent a few hundred pounds on that cake, so it's an important part of their day. But I thought the countdown was good - yes it's a bit cheesy, but you can't be *too* serious at these things, otherwise there's no personality and it can be a bit flat.

Overall, very good. Clear microphone technique, and you got the attention of the guests which is the most important thing.

[Benny Smyth]

I'm going to be deleting this video on Friday. Even though the privacy settings suggest that it shouldn't appear on any searches on YouTube, I don't want to risk a client coming acroos it and thinking that I ramble on like that all night (which, to be fair, is not an unreasonable assumption based solely on that vid).

But, as a disclaimer, I don't ramble like that all night. With the exception of announcements and the odd one liner, that'll be it for the whole night. :lol:

[Andy P]

Do you run from a script Benny or was this all just spiel from the top of your head?

[Benny Smyth]

Do you run from a script Benny or was this all just spiel from the top of your head?

No script involved.

[Benny Smyth]

Video deleted.

Thanks to everyone who gave feedback. It's very much appreciated. :)

[yourdj]

No script involved.

Look at any Derek Pengelly workshops on scripting or Toastmasters international :)
Both are great and something i really should do more of!! I will start doing them again.

The Derek ones are really great as he videos you and rips into why you say what you say etc.
The videos are played back in front of a group of 8 ish people.

Nothing better (or more unnerving) than getting out of your comfort zone ;)
I ran this quite a few years back, very helpful:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dCurnM42BU

[Andy P]

So I tried the cake countdown over the weekend and it worked really well. :beer1:

[yourdj]

So I tried the cake countdown over the weekend and it worked really well. :beer1:

Great way to fill the awkward silence, assuming the photographer is ready to shoot.
Not great when they put the cake on thew other side of the room or you can't see it LOL.

People do recite the history of the cake and its meaning, but I find that boring and too formal. :)