A question of pride

[Andy P]

So today I am feeling a mixture of madness and gullibility resulting in me feeling very angry about a situation.

A while back my wifes cousin sold me this sob story and I offered to do a charity event for half price. They kept on at me (a few of the family) to the end that I eventually agreed to do this for nothing. Mug indeed.

Then they changed the date and it crossed with another event I had booked. Again for the want of doing good and to be a stand up bloke in the local community and keep the family happy I got another DJ to cover the gig which cost even cost me the difference in our price. So I thought god will reward my kindness and i'll be getting some bonus karma sometime soon (like not at all).

So then a few days ago my wifes aunty rings and asks for a price to do a few hours in the afternoon for the kids part of the fund raising day, I give a price and the call goes cold with no sale - was even a good price.

Today the guy who I work with rings me and says guess what - I've got a job for you if you want it, and guess what the job is.

Well my instant reaction is stick your event and find someone else. They have me working for minus money and then don't want to pay about a tenna more for me to do the day time too. Im furious at them and my own stupidity but honestly - what would you do?

[Benny Smyth]

Never do gigs for people you are related to or are friends with.

Harsh rule, but life stays a lot simpler.

[Andy P]

that is true - and i'll learn the hard way here

[Nakatomi]

I've already told my extended family there'll be no mates rates. Full price or no booking. They can whine about how awful their Sid was all they like.

Harsh maybe but business is business. Besides, nobody takes the pee like family does.

Said the man who doubled his rate of pay recently... To a pittance! Heh

[Shakermaker Promotions]

I tend to treat everybody the same when it comes to bookings whether they are friends or not.
If they are good friends then I will slightly discount my services but the majority do understand the score.

I did say a while back that I would never do anything for friends or friends of friends after being let down a while back but over the past couple of years I have done around 15 weddings for friends who have all paid close to full price so that would just be turning decent money away which I won't do.

The example happened when a regular at a pub I was DJing at twice a month approached me about DJing for his 30th Birthday. It was to be in the 2nd week of January which is generally quiet so I discounted the price for him and made sure he knew that. I met up with him one night as I don't talk or do business down the pub and everything seemed ok. I never received a booking fee or the booking form and chased him up a number of times. He also conveniently or mysteriously didn't appear at the pub a few weeks before the party was due. I'd spoken to a few mutual friends who said as far as they knew it was still going ahead so I was a bit confused. No answers to emails or calls so I wrote it off anyway but it was the fact that he eventually said it wasn't going ahead around a week before it was supposed to happen.
I didn't care by then as I was sick of chasing and being mucked about.

The party DID go ahead in the end and he had the cheek to tell someone that I was invited if I wanted to go. He ended up not getting a DJ but used an iPod and a speaker apparently. I bumped into him for the first time about a year ago now and he couldn't apologise enough. He said the reason he ignored me and didn't go to the pub was because of embarrassment because he couldn't afford me. I said to him that if he'd said that in the first place then I wouldn't have got peeved off chasing him about.

[funkymook]

You know what - I’d cancel on them. The only reason they want you is because you’re free. They messed you about on the dates and now Aunty xxx has made it clear she doesn’t think you’re worth whatever your quote was. They wouldn’t give you a second thought if they cancelled the event at the last minute, pay them the same courtesy - sod ‘em!

[Andy P]

that is my exact feeling Mook

[funkymook]

that is my exact feeling Mook

I would’ve been out at the first date change if I already had a booking - you could’ve donated half your fee from that and still be quids in.

[Excalibur]

I would’ve been out at the first date change if I already had a booking -
As would I.

[DeckstarDeluxe]

Never do gigs for people you are related to or are friends with.

Harsh rule, but life stays a lot simpler.

A1, I'm always booked when friends ask unless it's for hire equipment. If you have the idea of going full time you need to treat it like a full time business and non event folks don't understand that while we work 5/6 days a week that the income days aren't something we can play fast and loose with.

[Excalibur]

If you have the idea of going full time you need to treat it like a full time business .
You don't even have to be a full time DJ, Neil. When you're self employed, it's don't work = don't eat. Nowadays, not many folk get a freebie from me, and those who do can usually offer me more in return.

[ckpr2]

I have done gigs free for family so long as they give me a lift in and out with the gear.

However, I wont be messed around, at the first sign of pratting about I opt out.

[ukpartydj]

I do a charity event each year (family related) and as I don't give anything to any charity I feel that my bit.

Altough after this year's one I may give it a miss, it happened to land on the night I see my friends every week. Went on later than normal, and I think I don't really like "working for my family" when you do it for free it seems like everything they ask takes the mick. Silly things like "why don't you use the bubble machine for the kids"... Grrrr! Some charities I don't understand the point of their existence. Others I think spend their money incorrectly.

I personally give friends and family (close) full price quote but offer extras at a low price. That way I'm still gonna get a decent pay, and their gonna get a good deal.

Being the only one in my friend group with a van, and being a DJ means that I often get asked to move house / cheap DJ/ design work and just lifts in general for those who don't drive...and I mean no offense to my friends but they have nothing that I need so it's not fair doing it for ir free.

[yourdj]

I do discounted events for local event managers / venues and thats about it. :)
I have one wedding for a venue manger in 2 weeks and one that wants to book for next year. They get 20% off.
Its a real compliment they have chosen me as they must have seen loads of DJ's. :)

I have been stung a few times now for charity and a few 'friends/family' have requested discounts - it aint happening.

If I like you and your great then I would rather do it for free. :)
Especially if Mrs Oakley can have a good day out.

[Shakermaker Promotions]

There's also the other side though (and this may sound strange) when your friends and family know what you do for a living yet you don't get asked!!
It was probably about 5 years ago now when my Mum organised a 60th birthday party for her other half (lovely bloke who is seriously minted but that's not the point).
I didn't even know there had been a party organised until the day itself. Now, IF I had been asked in advance to provide the Disco, well...with it being my Mum organising I would have more than likely done it for free or half price at the least but she told me that she assumed that I was too busy and working already.
I was off that night so ventured down and when I was told "Come along".

The party was in a social club that they were both members of and it was a DIY affair. Not wishing to come across as a snob because that really isn't my style...it was "one of those" parties. I don't know where they found this guy who was doing the Disco but blimey.....health and safety, the cable police, the gear snobs and the cheese merchants would have been in their element!

When I chatted to my Mum on the night I couldn't believe it when she actually said words along the lines of...."He's not that great is he but he is young and he isn't getting much DJ work"..... I could see why! When I asked how much she'd paid for his services she said £70.00. Like I said, I would have probably done it for free and at the time I thought "Sod you then!" because I hadn't even been asked. I stayed around for about an hour but couldn't hack it for much longer and ended up at my local for the rest of the night.

[Excalibur]

at the time I thought "Sod you then!" because I hadn't even been asked. I stayed around for about an hour but couldn't hack it for much longer and ended up at my local for the rest of the night.

We've touched on this before, but in ever so many cases, I'd rather do the disco than be a guest.

[Shakermaker Promotions]

Too right Peter!
If you'd of been able to understand what the guy was saying over the mic (which by the way seemed to be after almost every song), it may have been a tad bearable but muffled talking, speakers sounding like they are screaming for a break and some of the cheesiest stuff I'd ever heard (that the kids seemed to like....well, some of them).... I just made my excuses and went off with the missus.

[Benny Smyth]

We've touched on this before, but in ever so many cases, I'd rather do the disco than be a guest.

I am the opposite. I'd rather be a guest and enjoy myself with my friends and family over having to be the responsible professional.

[mattydj50]

I have done gigs free for family so long as they give me a lift in and out with the gear.

However, I wont be messed around, at the first sign of pratting about I opt out.

You'll likely get a lift in but not a lift out. I did my stepdaughter's wedding (for free) and though several family guests helped me in, by the end of the night they were too drunk or tired or had simply gone home.

I do have a discounted rate at my usual venue for any function for any member of staff holding the event there. They win because they don't pay the venue their cut or VAT and I get a gig where I would be "night off" otherwise. I always get cash up front and am lucky that they all actually WANT me to do it, rather than just accept it because I'm there.