It Is Good To Be A Woman

[KrazyKaz]

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with
the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3 Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate
without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often
to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without
having to picture them naked
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger,
we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence
because they aren't listening anyway.

[PropellerHeadCase]

It's great to be a guy...

1) One mood... all the time :D

[Corabar Entertainment]

It's great to be a guy...

1) One mood... all the time :DI wish someone would tell that to a lot of the blokes I know! :eek:

[Sam]

yeh thats why i dress up at the weekends... OH i mean.. hahaha

[BeerFunk]

http://coffee.geek.nz/geekzone/hatethread.jpg

[Corabar Entertainment]

:lol:

[spin mobile disco]

Rather a sexist post this evening, any reason for the male bashing?

[Corabar Entertainment]

'cos it makes a change from all the sexist remarks from you lot! :p :p :p

[BeerFunk]

Rather a sexist post this evening, any reason for the male bashing?
It's just meant as a bit of banter, poking fun at stereotypes, if you will :)

[Sam]

'cos it makes a change from all the sexist remarks from you lot! :p :p :p

excuse me?
We are not sexist..



we just know whos the best :p

[Corabar Entertainment]

we just know whos the best :pGood - glad you know your place in the scheme of things :p

[Sam]

very well.. but dont stop polishing my shoes when you type next time.. oh and get me a drink. haha

(was funny in my head anyway..)

[BeerFunk]

(was funny in my head anyway..)
Will you stop saying that!? :p

A bit of revenge...

[Corabar Entertainment]

Whatever you say Samuella (I keep seeing your email address and reading it like that!!! :eek: )


A bit of revenge...Coincidence again.... I was emailed that from New Zealand a couple of days ago. Gave me a giggle even though I saw it coming before the punchline. :)

[Sam]

Will you stop saying that!? :p

A bit of revenge...

Well.. i dont know... it does sound funny in my head... HaHa


Whatever you say Samuella
haha thats true!!
but normally only get called that on a sunday... :D

[Corabar Steve]

but normally only get called that on a sunday... :D

When he's a Laydeeee

http://www.uktv.co.uk/images/standardItem/M/little_britain190.jpg

[rob1963]

5 reasons why it's better to be a man:

1) We aren't paranoid that our bum looks big in everything
2) Lower phone bills.
3) When going out, we can be ready in about 10 minutes.
4) After we've parked the car, we don't need a taxi to take us to the pavement!
5) Garage mechanics tell us the truth.

:D :D :D

[PropellerHeadCase]

5 reasons why it's better to be a man:

1) We aren't paranoid that our bum looks big in everything

Actually I heard a statistic that 75% of men are at some level worried about their weight.

It's also funny that in at least some cases your average bloke would prefer it if their bum did look bigger in said outfit ;) It's why J-Lo wears white pants :D

[DJ Frankie]

4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing


You havent been to many of my gigs then??? ;)

[Dragonfly]

men are better at arguments between themselves ...... smack ....... smack...... back to the bar.

whereas women will fight then tell the whole street that their mate is sleeping with the neighbours husband ..... then make crank calls ,emails and text to them for a month.......... then egg their house and let their tyres down one night ............. then have another fight when one looks at the other in the kebab shop at 3am ............ then go out for a coffee and lunch the next day as if nothings happened.

[Penfold42]

1) We aren't paranoid that our bum looks big in everything
Or does this look good........and you say 'smashing' they say 'are you just saying that.....' then your room looks like a chinese washroom.......:zip:


2) Lower phone bills.
.....I'm just going to ring.........but you've been at work all day with her.....:eek:


3) When going out, we can be ready in about 10 minutes.
Is the Taxi here already......errrr....yes.:D


4) After we've parked the car, we don't need a taxi to take us to the pavement!.
Spend 3/4hr looking around for a space the size of a double decker bus.......


5) Garage mechanics tell us the truth.
Now be fair........they know where the oil and water go..............NOT!!:zip:

If women had the same humour as men....life would be so much better.....:sofa:

[rob1963]

Or does this look good........and you say 'smashing' they say 'are you just saying that.....' then your room looks like a chinese washroom.......:zip:

.....I'm just going to ring.........but you've been at work all day with her.....:eek:

Is the Taxi here already......errrr....yes.:D

Spend 3/4hr looking around for a space the size of a double decker bus.......

Now be fair........they know where the oil and water go..............NOT!!:zip:

If women had the same humour as men....life would be so much better.....:sofa:

:lol:

[BeerFunk]

men are better at arguments between themselves ...... smack ....... smack...... back to the bar.

whereas women will fight then tell the whole street that their mate is sleeping with the neighbours husband ..... then make crank calls ,emails and text to them for a month.......... then egg their house and let their tyres down one night ............. then have another fight when one looks at the other in the kebab shop at 3am ............ then go out for a coffee and lunch the next day as if nothings happened.
Haha, so true! We just let it out and be done with it! Even if it did result in two world wars... :omg:

[Corabar Entertainment]

Well,I know I'm not a 'typical' female - or so I've been told on many occasions (more than once, a bloke has told me I think like a bloke!!! ...... not sure if they meant it as a compliment or an insult!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: ) but.......
5) Garage mechanics tell us the truth.Oh so true!!! The number of times that mechanics have tried to take me for a ride / have a laugh at my expense is ridiculous! :mad:

[pagan_flame]

Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2000 miles.

Motorcycles' curves never sag.

Motorcycles last longer.

Motorcycles don't get pregnant.

You can ride a Motorcycles any time of the month.

Motorcycles don't have parents.

Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.

You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.

You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.

If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.

You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is really worn.

If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.

Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.

When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.

Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.

Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.

New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.

If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.

If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.

If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.

If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.

You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.

You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.

You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.

You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.

If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.

You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.

Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.

Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.

Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.

Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.

Motorcycles don't care if you are late.

You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.

It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.

If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.

You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.

[pagan_flame]

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[pagan_flame]

Shall we do 'The Husband Store' next? :D

[PropellerHeadCase]

I think you just did ;)

[robbiedj]

This is Carol, not Rob.

Two thoughts for you all.

Women like the simple things in life ............ that's why they like men.

Why did God make Adam first? You always need a prototype to improve on.:whistle:



At one time we had a notice on the disco stand for people who came up with requests. It said:-

Do you want to talk to the man in charge ..........
Or the woman who knows what's going on?

[Corabar Entertainment]

Do you want to talk to the man in charge ..........
Or the woman who knows what's going on?:lol: I like that one! .....Except with Corabar it would be the other way around at a gig! :p

[rob1963]

Why did God make Adam first? You always need a prototype to improve on.:whistle:

And what was the first thing Adam said to Eve?





"You'd better stand back...I don't know how big this thing gets!"

:Laugh:

[BeerFunk]

And what was the first thing Adam said to Eve?





"You'd better stand back...I don't know how big this thing gets!"

:Laugh:
Lmao! :lol:

I'll bet Eve was a little disappointed in the end, though.. :rolleyes:

[Penfold42]

And what was the first thing Adam said to Eve?





"You'd better stand back...I don't know how big this thing gets!"

:Laugh:

PMSL........

15-Love..................:D :D

[PropellerHeadCase]

I don't think she gave a fig...









...leaf ;)

[Corabar Entertainment]

Ouch! :lol: