Mummy Mummy, why do I keep running in circles...
..stand still dear whilst I nail your other foot to the floor
Mummy Mummy, can I lick the bowl...
...no dear, flush the toilet like everyone else
Mummy Mummy, whats for dinner...
...Shut up dear and get back in the oven
Mummy Mummy, can I have a straw...
...why dear...
The cats been sick and my brothers eaten the lumps.
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.
She descended a bit more and shouted: 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.'
The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'
'You must be an Engineer,' said the balloonist.
'I am,' replied the man, 'how did you know?'
'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip with your talk.'
The man below responded, 'You must be in Management.'
'I am,' replied the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'
'Well,' said the man, 'you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's all my :Censored: fault'
The Egyptian government have come up with a plan to try stop the riots in Cairo.
Get in a car, honk the horn & chill out.
They're calling it Toot-n-calm-doon!
Broadband from Yorkshire
Does that mean its difficult to understand, boring and slow?
:sj:
Ooooh, Callum... Peter will give you a slap for that one! :sofa: :D
Only if you have to call t' helpline. :p :D :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Jiggles
Heaven forfend! :eek: That would be a clear breach of rule 12. :Naughty:Quote:
Originally Posted by Corabar Entertainment
Presumably overseas............Quote:
Originally Posted by Excalibur
............. In Morecambe ? ;) :D :D :D
The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning.
I said to her, "If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff."
"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked..
"I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don't want some other useless mug using my stuff."
She looked at me and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another mug?"
Reminds me of a similar coversation I had a couple of years ago
"Darling" she said " If I were to die would you want another woman ?"
"Well" says I "It's possible as I would otherwise get very lonely"
"But would you let her live in our house ?"
"Well it's the only house I would have, so I probably would have to"
"And would you let her sleep in our bed ?"
"Again, it's the only bed that would be available"
"Surely you wouldn't let her drive my car ?"
" Of course not" says I......
"She only has a licence for an automatic !!" :doh:
:sofa:
I have just received the new Mayan 2013 calendar
12 blank A4 pages.
:sofa:
Daryll