Good Gig, Bad Gig.

you can't win em all Wayne. Sadly.

Had a cracking night again tonight, yet again almost spoiled by a winker. The kind of winker who only likes one artist, gets right in your face trying to intimidate you & even gives your laptop a menacing hug to show he means business. God give me strength! After the 3rd visit by him I decided to go have a word with a duty manager about him. No surprise he was already known to them for being a bit of a :Censored:.. and when I say a bit I actually mean a complete & utter one.

Anyway, that aside, the crowd were a bit... how shall I say... common compared to the venue's usual clientele. Hey, I don't care - they ain't gonna be too cool for school are they? Great vibe in the room once the kids were spirited away (glad it wasn't MY dancefloor the kids were skidding along), and I got the B&G a lovely reception as they went into the cake cut. Tog's camera broke so she ran off to bring her spare, so I had to pad for a couple of minutes & then we went into the first dance. Tonight the actual manager was in the room & he got to hear my intro. The noise the guests made was off the scale as I started to play Madilyn Bailey's Little Things (what's this, a 'different' first dance I actually quite like?)... and from there we went Charlie Puth & Meghan Trainor... and then.... well one thing led to another.

Yet again this was a case where people just wanted to dance, dance & dance some more. Even through the buffet... where was my cig break?! Requests for dance music came in & I mixed it all up like an old club DJ who's lain dormant for too long. Did we House Every Weekend? For sure. Did we get Chunky? OH YEAH. Did we Sigala too? Yup. And so on... I kept the levels fairly low throughout the food time & then whacked it back up to 0dB on the mixer, hazed the place good & proper & we had some wobbly bass action.

The hen party had been to a Grease dance class (?!) so out had to come the Grease Megamix, then We Go Together. Proud Mary naturally followed... and suddenly as if by magic it was 11pm & half the room had suddenly vanished. Carry on Mr DJ.. carry on. Numbers were thin on the floor but loads of people were bopping around in their chairs, and then with half an hour to go I went to Christmas tunes for a bit.

N-Trance's 'Set you free' was played earlier to great response but since it's the bride's all time fave track it came out again as the penultimate song after a false ending (500 miles, intro looped as I goaded people to get back on the floor wandering with my radio mic). Actual final song was a reprise of the 1st dance and it was a bunch of lovely moments. Mr nasty intimidatory trouble bloke had reverted back into a pussycat & came up to shake my hand at the end of the night. See? Just don't be a nob & I'll bend over double to play a request. Honestly.

The DJ in the other room fared much better than last night - I was made up for him. Actually I'm chuffed to bits I found somebody so keen, so fresh to this & absolutely professional. Early doors he was working the room talking to people at the Xmas party tables. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! Maybe the previous night had jolted him into taking extra measures, but I'm not sure it was strictly necessary with an up for it crowd, but GOOD ON THAT MAN! We had a good chat afterwards for half an hour or so & I thanked him profusely for a) not sucking and b) being exactly the kind of DJ I'd want to stand in for me.

If you ever need a spare DJ, and none of your contacts is coming up with anything, you could do much worse than look at the NADJ 'find a DJ' section.

Oh, and for the record I actually quite like the latest Bieber no.1 single - but for one thing. It needs the word 'love' substituted with a rude one to really work for me.

Well, well, well....it seems my night last night was along the same lines as both of the reviews before this one! In reality I should be happy with how the night went because the majority, well almost everyone had a great time....apart from one or two "too cool for school" girls... Can I refer to them as 'winkers'? That's probably the politest I can be about them!

Firstly, Imagine - I wasn't driven to a bottle of Chardonnay as such (Sauvignon Blanc in my case) but I was celebrating as I was in a great mood after Friday night's stonker with a bottle of Ned (lovely stuff). I finished a bottle in the early hours, had a decent sleep and woke up early afternoon (first time in yonks!), knowing that I didn't have to get back to the hotel until early evening to get the background music going because the gear was all set up.

2 Discos in the hotel last night. Me in the main room and Daryll in the other. When I arrived at the hotel I was given lots of great feedback from the party the night before who apparently are going to book again for next year and have requested me already. Had a chat with Daryll whilst I was there and then went to my room. It had just turned 6.00pm and guests were already entering the room....what!!??? Well, where Daryll was had been closed off so that it was exclusive to the other party so guests mingled at the bar in my room for pre-party drinks with the aim of sitting down to eat at 7.30pm (ended up being 8.00pm).

I recognised the organiser straight away. Up until 2 years ago he used to run a pretty successful DJ business. He knew me too so that broke the ice and we had a quick chat. He now runs a fitness boot camp business and the party was for him and 65 of his customers, the majority of them being around the age of 30.
I asked him about the music he'd like for the evening and he just said "You know what you're doing" and left it at that. Ok, so that was a lot of help eh!

2 hours later I arrive back at the hotel and they're still on their main meals. The atmosphere is a happy one and it looks like everyone is in party mode.
One of the staff grabs me as soon as they see me and point out that the organiser has been behind my decks whilst I have been away. I didn't have a problem with that at all really because he knows what he's doing. He didn't ask me beforehand but did tell me when I arrived back at the hotel. All he'd done is used the mic to get everybody to take to their seats once everyone had arrived. That was fine with me although I didn't notice he'd whacked the volume up on the mic so when I made my introductions it was a lot louder than I expected.

So, meals over eventually and I kick off with some current stuff for around 30 minutes. I already know that there is a pretty decent ex DJ in the room but it doesn't bother me too much (it used to for some reason). Pretty full dance floor which is good and everything seems fine. Requests start flooding in which is also good. It showed that people DO listen sometimes and the requests are a mix of current stuff and classics.

A guy comes over to me who is sat at a table nearby. He's very complimentary and shakes my hand "Very tidy kit mate. Love your set up" (Thanks!) and asks for a few tunes. I go from current stuff to some 70's and 80's classics and most of them on the dance floor stay put. A few disappear. Throughout the next hour he pops back up again and so does one of the other guys on his table. The other guy asks for some Madness and is also complimentary "Great night mate. You're doing a great job!" (Thanks!).
Both of them seem like very nice blokes and it is only later on when the first guy comes back to ask for some more tunes that he tells me that both of them are DJ's too!
I laugh and say "That's 3 DJ's in the room tonight then plus me" and he laughs and points to another guy over the other side of the room who is dancing at his table.."He's one too!" he says and laughs.

Everything seems absolutely fine. There's a decent atmosphere going and I am enjoying myself too but then exit stage right Miss or Mrs Winker!
One of those types who appears very nice on the outside but the personality is obviously non-existent. One of those types that only likes a particular type of music. Anything else is dog poo in their eyes. One of those types who does the type of thing that every DJ hates.......the cut throat signal!!! (it makes my blood boil even after all of these years of DJing - I hate it!).

I only really noticed her when she went on to the dance floor because she looked pretty good. She danced with some other girls to the likes of Whitney, Michael Jackson, Lionel Richie etc and looked like she was well into it. Then I played Madness and Blues Brothers which had been requested. Everyone else was going for it but she came over to me, leant over the mixer with drink in hand and said "Really? Come on, what's next!!?"....She was trying to look at the laptop but she was leaning all over the kit.
I signalled for her to move away with her drink and she sarcastically started making faces and rubbed my stand. I just shook my head. I saw her then go over to what I assumed was her other half and start pointing in my direction. She was obviously moaning about me for whatever reason and I expected a visit from him but it didn't happen. What it did though was throw me a bit. I've said it before but I lost a bit of concentration because she was the only person that had given me any kind of negative reaction on what was a great night so far.

She continued to catch my eye for the wrong reasons and with an hour to go I was getting quite distracted by her facial contortions which indicated to me that she thought everything I was playing was rubbish (even though everyone else was dancing). I got annoyed with myself and even after many years of DJing I still need to just think "Sod you" and forget about people like her but it's pretty hard to do.
The complimentary guys (DJ's) came over to shake my hand because they were leaving. They both said they'd had a great night and that I'd done a great job and that boosted me a bit. I needed it.
For that last hour I played more current stuff and winker woman seemed to enjoy herself on the dance floor for the duration. The organiser passed by and shook my hand, nodded in approval but said nothing.

I couldn't wait for it to all be over if I am honest. Winker woman had really spoilt my evening unfortunately. Talking to the staff afterwards it seemed that she wasn't the only one who'd been a pain in the proverbial. Rude was the main word used to describe the guests last night which was unfortunate. Like I said, the majority of them had a great time from what I could see.

I totally understand that you can't always please everybody. That's just life in general isn't it but come on.... it's a Christmas party NOT a nightclub. At least TRY and enjoy yourself. If only people like her knew how much it :Censored: us off (me anyway) when they make the cut throat gestures. It's all me, me, me....

Fingers crossed the remaining parties don't have a Mr or Mrs Winker attending them.

Went to Beverley, played music, came home. :) ( See above. In joke. )


I did indeed go to Beverley, to cover one for Dave Jackson. It's a venue I'd worked before, and it's pretty simple access. The organisers hadn't passed on the fact that guests were arriving relatively early, so I got the hurry up call as I was en route. No problem, I had time enough allowed, so got all the kit in past the tables ( which is why I needed to be early ) and into my corner. Got set up, and started with background music through the meal, picking it up a bit as dessert finished, and coffee arrived.

Couldn't move anyone, and got the time honoured " we need to get people on the floor ". After a slow start, a good handful did so, and I had a steady amount on the floor all night. Probably three quarters of the guests were more intent on getting stuck into the free bar than danmcing, so it was never rammed. Music requests were varied, rock didn't work well ( never seen Mr Brightside clear a floor before ) Tamla certainly did, as did :Censored: Bieber and Little mix. Good smattering of 80's, which is being requested everywhere I go, currently. I've got an all 80's birthday next week.

The manager informed me it was last orders 12.20, bar close 12.30, disco finish 1am. Shouted last orders, gave them a reminder, bar closed 12.30, and everybody left!! :eek::eek: Don't look a gift horse, eh? Shot my carefully chosen last records to pieces, but ah well.

On a side note, over twenty miles home, and guess how many service stations/fast food outlets I pass? Zero. From the outskirts of Hull to my house, along a major trunk road, there are no fuel stations, or anything, unless you leave the route, and go into the very towns the road was designed to bypass. :daft:

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Originally Posted by Shakermaker Promotions

...but then exit stage right Miss or Mrs Winker!
One of those types who appears very nice on the outside but the personality is obviously non-existent. One of those types that only likes a particular type of music. Anything else is dog poo in their eyes. One of those types who does the type of thing that every DJ hates.......the cut throat signal!!! (it makes my blood boil even after all of these years of DJing - I hate it!)....

She continued to catch my eye for the wrong reasons and with an hour to go I was getting quite distracted by her facial contortions which indicated to me that she thought everything I was playing was rubbish (even though everyone else was dancing). I got annoyed with myself and even after many years of DJing I still need to just think "Sod you" and forget about people like her but it's pretty hard to do...
I couldn't wait for it to all be over if I am honest. Winker woman had really spoilt my evening unfortunately.

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One of my pet hates too, when you get people giving you the cut throat signal. I covered a small wedding party for an older couple as a favour to another DJ many moons ago. It should have been a really pleasant evening but there were some rotten eggs present, one of whom was a woman who also did that cut throat signal when I was playing some classic reggae (bride's request): the bride was up dancing and quite a few others too, so as far as I was concerned I was doing nowt wrong. A bit later on she made a point of mouthing at me that what I was playing was "rubbish" and so I tried my smile and wave act, which led to her mouthing at me to F-off. A while later again she came a bit closer to the stage and said the music was crap, so I said, "well, how about telling me what you'd prefer then?" The response was the usual, "well I don't know, you're the DJ" rubbish, so I told her politely to leave me be or I'd be turning everything off and going home early. It worked.

That particular woman spoiled the gig for me as well. As it was because one of the other guests had been so abusive to the bar staff, the venue decided to throw them all out early.

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Originally Posted by Shakermaker Promotions

I totally understand that you can't always please everybody. That's just life in general isn't it but come on.... it's a Christmas party NOT a nightclub. At least TRY and enjoy yourself. If only people like her knew how much it :Censored: us off (me anyway) when they make the cut throat gestures. It's all me, me, me....

Fingers crossed the remaining parties don't have a Mr or Mrs Winker attending them.

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Based on what you've typed, I think you handled it admirably. The problem you have is that you can't just walk out and have time to clear your head when it's during the middle of a gig. I think it's very hard to let the emotions go when you get some idiot giving you grief, especially so if they keep on coming back to cause further irritation.

People like Miss or Mrs. Winker need their expectations managed. I'd be amazed if she hadn't been to a similar function before. Really people like that should just stay at home or go to a nightclub. As you put, it's a Christmas party and you're going to have people of different ages there so have to play stuff that will appeal to most of them. The vast majority of Christmas party nights I've been to as a guest have been your typical affair music wise - you hear all of the obvious choices and tracks that tend to get people up dancing. You're therefore going to be less likely to have a night of the trendiest music going, rare groove stuff or pirate metal or whatever you really choose to listen to. So, if you really can't find a way to enjoy yourself if the DJ is playing - shock, shock, 'party music,' then leave or don't go in the first place.

She's probably a right high maintenance type.

My memories of club & bar work are having to deal with difficult people by the boat load. Every other customer was a living nightmare. I can still count the memorably bad ones on two hands even after 12 months. It's a fairly charmed life I lead. I'm not the fan of Christmas parties I once was. Give me a wedding any time, even with the occasional travellery type. Never thought I'd ever say that!

In response to Gary's earlier comments, here's my notes regarding last night's 30th birthday party.

First off, last weekend when we suffered the destruction caused by Storm Desmond, I wasn't working. I commented on a fellow DJ's thread that I'd chosen the right weekend to be off but, knowing my luck, I'd probably get snowed in this weeked. I should have kept my big gob shut. Bring on the snow bang on cue!

Anyway, if that wasn't a bad enough omen, I actually managed to cut myself shaving whilst I was getting ready. No, I didn't nick my face or my nose as I've done many times before. I managed to actually cut my finger whilst changing my razor blade (Wilkonson Sword Classic so full-on razor danger!). I couldn't get it to stop bleeding before I left for the gig so it was plaster on finger time and box of plasters in my bag.

Got to the gig. It was walk-in, walk-out gig that I was doing for an operator who in turn got it off another operator. Walked in and everything was set up. Then this woman came up to me and asked where the karaoke gear was. Karaoke? I was booked for a disco. At bare minimum rates. There was no mention of karaoke and I didn't even have the karaoke setup with me. So, they weren't getting karaoke. Lady says "Ooh, she won't be happy. They've been picking out their songs all week!".

(I'll have to finish this later as I've just noticed the time and I've got a taxi booked in 5 minutes! :eek: ). Come back later for the rest of my tale of woe!!

UPDATE - The rest of the story!

Note to oneself. Don't start writing these posts when you've not got long before your taxi is due to arrive!

Anyway, I explained to this lady that I was only booked for disco and that the bloke I was freelancing for got passed the gig from another DJ who regularly does the venue. I rang my "boss" and he confirmed that karaoke was never mentioned. Bearing in mind, this guy we all know as "Karaoke Kev" so if it had been karaoke he'd have known about it! The woman told me not to worry as it wasn't my fault and that she'd explain it to the birthday girl and that she'd probably have a go at me but to just ignore her!! Great start to the night. Not!!

Then the landlord came in and asked me if I'd been there before. I explained I had but not for several years. He explained they'd had to put a special ceiling in due to noise complaints from the neighbours. He wasn't very happy that it had cost him 3 and a half grand! He then went on to explain about the noise limiter (which I was already aware of but I let him carry on anyway). He said the setup was plugged in to a separate socket so the gear would be fine but the christmas tree was plugged in to the limiter and if the tree lights went out it was too loud! The limiter was set ridiculously low but he told me not to worry as it needed resetting higher now that the new ceiling was in. About 4 lights up on the mixer was about perfect he said. It was still quite low but enough for a decent party. It was a cash on the night gig so I asked him who would be paying me and he told me my money would be behind the bar at the end of the night. No problem there and my financial concerns resolved, he shook my hand and then left the room.

I then saw a young barman come in so I went over to get a pint of my usual blackcurrant and water. He saw all the balloons and asked me if there was a party on. I said yeah, it was a birthday party. He then said he was dreading that scenario when he came in to work. I asked him why and he told me he doesn't like working functions as "they always kick off in here"!! Now he could've been winding me up or he could have been genuine. He seemed genuine enough to me!!

I was booked to start at 7 but 7 came and went and no sign of anyone. They finally turned up en masse at about half 7. I saw the woman from earlier having a chat with them and they kept looking over at me and she was shaking her head. Then the birthday girl's other half came over and he asked me if it was right that there was no karaoke on. I explained that I'd been booked for disco only. He asked if we could plug in to the big screen but I explained that the karaoke was on a different system and I only had my DJing laptop. If asked me how long it would take to go home and get it and I told him that would be out of the question as I wasn't local. He then said not to worry and it couldn't be helped. I asked what music they wanted and he told me 80s up to date. No bother.

So, the party gets underway. The birthday girl, bless her, is obviously disappointed about the lack of karaoke (and I did understand that) and she did her best bopping around trying to get others up dancing. With the exception of about 8 of her guests, they were having none of it. It was like someone had spilled superglue on their seats! I plodded on playing a mish-mash of tracks from the 80s up to date when one of her friends came over and demanded that I play "dancey" stuff. There were about 6 people up dancing already but I refrained from the sarcastic questions of recent weeks and asked her such as? Exactly what music did she like? She explained late 80s early 90s dance. And I said like what? It came back Shades of Rythm and QFX. Ah, right! Old Skool! One of my favourite genres! On come Nakatomi (Children Of The Night) and about 20 get up to dance. Great! It's looking better already. Next, Shades of Rythm as requested - dancefloor clears. Including the lass who asked for it. I bring it more up to date - Uptown Funk and that gets a few back up. For one song only again. It was like the hokey-cokey of dance floors.

Then, the icing on the cake. I knew I had to finish at 11 (noise restrictions) but at 10.40pm some bald-headed bloke comes over and switches on the boxing on the big screen hanging right opposite me. Strange, I thought. Oh, well. I'll carry on. Played a few more tracks and finished with Mr Brightside (got a few up for that one, Mr Dye!!) and encored with Slade Merry Xmas Everybody. It was bang on 11pm. The boss comes over and says "You do know you have to finish at 11, don't you?". I said yes and told him this was my last track. I finished the song and said my goodnights to everyone then powered down and packed up. All the blokes were sitting around the dance floor watching the boxing (and some women, too) and there was the usual expletive-filled shouting that you get from boxing fans. I went next door in to the bar and asked for my money and they said Sharon would sort it for me. She was the woman I spoke to at the very start. Only Sharon hadn't gotten it off the customer yet. Oh great. She called the party girl's other half over and said I needed paying. He then said to me "By, that was a clever thing to do. Putting the boxing on so at least you had the attention of all the blokes. Shame it was a birthday party!". I said "Look, mate. It wasn't me that put the telly on. It was one of your guests. It had nothing to do with me and I was very surprised at it myself. All I did was finish at 11pm as that the time I was booked to and had to finish". He said the birthday girl had the money and she had left the room but he went out and got her to come in. She paid me without saying a word but I could tell she wasn't very happy and, again, I understood that and I understood why. God knows who allowed that bloke to get the remote to turn the telly on during his friend's birthday party. He really spoilt the night. Sharon told me to get myself away and not say anything but my taxi wasn't due for 15 minutes so I went back in to the bar and ordered a pint of Worthy's. The landlord said he'd get me that which I was really grateful for! He said despite everything he thought I'd done a good job. Sharon came in upset as she'd be arguing with some of the guests who were causing problems in the function room. She said it was the last time she's helping anyone out but, again, she told me not to worry about it as none of what had happened was my fault. I just everything exactly as I was booked to do it.

Anyway, my taxi came bang on time and I came home. And boy was I pleased to get back - alive!! The last few months everything has gone swimmingly so I was due a bad gig but I'd no idea just how that bad gig would come along!! The omens were there early on. Maybe I should have just rang up and said I couldn't get there cos I was snowed in!!

Dazzy, ouch! :eek: Not funny.

I cant say I have ever been called crap.

I always ask for requests at the start of the night.
If people don't dance I try different genre's of music.

Only once did I get not a single person up dancing and that was a teenage party at Gretna Green.
We had 4 DJ's and not one of us could get them up.

I did an engagement gig where the customer told me what to play and no one got up.
A couple got up for one dance !

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Originally Posted by DazzyD

....
Anyway, if that wasn't a bad enough omen, I actually managed to cut myself shaving whilst I was getting ready. No, I didn't nick my face or my nose as I've done many times before. I managed to actually cut my finger whilst changing my razor blade (Wilkonson Sword Classic so full-on razor danger!). I couldn't get it to stop bleeding before I left for the gig so it was plaster on finger time and box of plasters in my bag...

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Ouch! Good to see there's another user of Double Edge razor blades on here though. It is a rarity to cut the fingers when changing blades I know but I would definitely recommend, if you don't have one already, getting an Alum block. It's rare that I get nicks but I use the Alum block after most shaves regardless.

When I last cut my finger with a blade, I used my Alum block and granted it stung a little but it stopped the bleeding quite quickly.


Look forward to reading the continuation of the gig story.

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Originally Posted by saduffy1

Ouch! Good to see there's another user of Double Edge razor blades on here though. It is a rarity to cut the fingers when changing blades I know but I would definitely recommend, if you don't have one already, getting an Alum block. It's rare that I get nicks but I use the Alum block after most shaves regardless.

When I last cut my finger with a blade, I used my Alum block and granted it stung a little but it stopped the bleeding quite quickly.


Look forward to reading the continuation of the gig story.

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I've got a styptic pencil but the cut was a bit much for that. I wasn't looking properly and caught my finger on the very edge/corner of the blade which is why it did the damage it did. My own fault as I wasn't giving it my 100% attention. And these razors really need your 100% attention!

Anyway, I'm going back in to edit my original post now so the rest of my tale will be up shortly!