Stupid things people say to you at gigs.

[Shaun]

We've all had the comments.

(when the dancefloor is full) "play something we can dance too"

(kids pointing to the mixer) "do you know what all those buttons do?"

(Person comes up to to stage) "Are you the DJ?"

"what songs have you got?" [ do they really expect me to recite my whole music library..lol? ]

(guests approaches) "can you play ________, and play it NOW !!!" [I'm happy to take requests..but I don't take demands ]



Feel free to add to the list......

[Solitaire Events Ltd]

"Got anything decent"

"Have you finished" (After 5 minutes of silence and packing gear down)

"Everyone will dance to this if you play it"

"Two coffees please" (Someone thought I was a waiter, years ago....)

[Fresh]

when you are broken down and packing away .... can you just make an anouncement for Mr Jones, there is a cab waiting outside

[dj_ags]

"Can you play Usher - Yeah?"

"If you listen closely enough, you will realise that we are currently playing it!"

"Can you announce that the buffet is open?"

"I've already done so, about a minute ago!"

"Can you play any slow songs please?"

"We will do later on in the night, but we are playing an upbeat dance set at the moment!"

[Corabar Steve]

(Person comes up to the stage) "Can you play Usher - Yeah?"

"If you listen closely enough, you will realise that we are currently playing it!"

Have you got any reggae?

"I think you'll find I'm actually playing Bob Marley!"



"You know what would go well after this?........ Something by the Monkees"

(song currently playing - I'm a believer (not Vic & Bob & EMF))

(Person comes up to the stage) "Can you announce that the buffet is open?"

"I've already done so!"

"Can you announce that the buffet is open?"

"I think you'll find that the stampede of people that nearly knocked you over on your way up here was a result of me having done just that"

"Got any Garage?" Actually let's not go there I'm in a good mood today. :teeth:

[Corabar Entertainment]

"Got any Garage?" Actually let's not go there I'm in a good mood today. :teeth:

Just look at his signature and you'll get the idea :teeth:

[dj_ags]

Have you got any reggae?

"I think you'll find I'm actually playing Bob Marley!"

The same goes for Motown requests!

"Can you play any Motown for us old farts?"

"If you listen carefully, we're actually playing some Diana Ross!"


It gets me it really does! If people listen, and think twice about what they are about to say, then these stupid comments would be thankfully avoided!

[Corabar Steve]

The same goes for Motown requests!

"Can you play any Motown for us old farts?"

"If you listen carefully, we're actually playing some Diana Ross!"


It gets me it really does! If people listen, and think twice about what they are about to say, then these stupid comments would be thankfully avoided!

Of course there are those people out there who believe that Motown is actually a Genre as opposed to a Record Label

Just look at his signature and you'll get the idea :teeth:

Not just that, to quote something I posted on 100% Biker

Garage "music", not just the music but the fact that that particular genre has stolen a name allready in use since the 60's

Garage is bands like MC5, the Stooges, the Sonics, the Fabulous Wailers, Moving Sidewalks (they turned into ZZ Top you know), the Seeds, ? & the Mysterians, Radio Birdman, the Hoodoo Gurus, the Lime Spiders, the Scientists, the Playn Jayn, the Fuzztones, the Prisoners, the Milkshakes, thee Headcoats, thee Mighty Caesars, the Golden Horde, thee Hypnotics, the Solarflares, the Buff Medways, the Hexxers, thee Headcoatees, the Kaisers, the Trashmen, the Neanderthals, the Mummies, the Scamps, the Sin Tones, the Wigs (anyone remember them?) the Surfin' Lungs, the Swinging Neckbreakers, Paul Bearer & the Hearsemen, the Bootmen, the Galaxies, the Litter, the Outcasts, Unrelated Segments, the Castaways, Flash & the Memphis Casuals, the Oxford Circle, Teddy & His Patches, Count Five, the Music Machine, the Electric Company, the Vagrants, Madd Inc, Mouse & The Traps, the Orfuns, Lindy & The Lavells, the Soul Vendors, the Wilde Knights & the Hypnomen.

NOT DJ LUCK & MC F****N NEAT!

[A-L_Vibez]

Ive got an email from a fellow DJ about this you have prob all seen it but ill post it anyway!

Things not to say to a DJ
When asking him for a request....

1) When are you going to play something good?
Firstly, you're saying my music is crap. Secondly, you appear to expect me to read your mind and work out what you like. I suggest you leave before I stab you with this ballpoint pen. Sod Off!!

2) If you play XXXXX everyone will dance!
Nothing is guaranteed to be further from the truth. If I play this track everyone will flock off the dance floor leaving you stood on your own in the middle. Until you feel stupid and leave. Having killed the atmosphere. Thanks a bunch.

3) Why you playing this ****? Nobody likes it!
That would explain the packed dance floor would it? If you don't particularly care for it sir, please wait 10 minutes and the music will change. To something else you can whinge about.

4) Can you play XXXX in the next 10 minutes because I've got to go home?
No. I'm trying to entertain those who are staying for the whole night. I'm not going to destroy the atmosphere I've cultivated to play The Village People at 9:30. You want to hear it, you wait until 11:00ish when it'll actually go down well.

5) Have you got any dance music? Would that be House, Garage, Trance, Hard House, Disco, Euro pop, Hi Energy, Techno, Vocal House, Drum n Bass (ugh!) or Happy Hardcore?

6) Can I have a look at your CDs?
No. They are the tools of my living. They are arranged in a specific order. They are also a convenient size to hide under a jacket as you leave. You thieving little pikey.

7) What have you got?
Look, I carry over 250 CDs, with over 5000 tracks. I’m not about to list them for you. And no, you can't look. No. You can't press that button either.

8) When are you going to play something recent?
Oooh. About 30 seconds ago. And I'll probably play some more as soon as I've played some 70s for your Mom. Patience is a virtue. Now sod off.

9) Can you play [insert heavy metal tune]?
No. This is a wedding. You are the only person in this room who actually like to make his/her ears bleed. I know you have a bedroom wall full of their posters and you tattooed the lead singer's name on your arm with a compass and ink. But believe me, no one else likes them. And, contrary to your firm belief, the sight of you standing alone in the middle of the dance floor flicking your long greasy hair backwards and forwards, killing off your remaining brain cells, will not make young women weak at the knees. Queasy in the stomach maybe.

[Discodaz]

Ive got an email from a fellow DJ about this you have prob all seen it but ill post it anyway!

Things not to say to a DJ
When asking him for a request....

1) When are you going to play something good?
Firstly, you're saying my music is crap. Secondly, you appear to expect me to read your mind and work out what you like. I suggest you leave before I stab you with this ballpoint pen. Sod Off!!

2) If you play XXXXX everyone will dance!
Nothing is guaranteed to be further from the truth. If I play this track everyone will flock off the dance floor leaving you stood on your own in the middle. Until you feel stupid and leave. Having killed the atmosphere. Thanks a bunch.

3) Why you playing this ****? Nobody likes it!
That would explain the packed dance floor would it? If you don't particularly care for it sir, please wait 10 minutes and the music will change. To something else you can whinge about.

4) Can you play XXXX in the next 10 minutes because I've got to go home?
No. I'm trying to entertain those who are staying for the whole night. I'm not going to destroy the atmosphere I've cultivated to play The Village People at 9:30. You want to hear it, you wait until 11:00ish when it'll actually go down well.

5) Have you got any dance music? Would that be House, Garage, Trance, Hard House, Disco, Euro pop, Hi Energy, Techno, Vocal House, Drum n Bass (ugh!) or Happy Hardcore?

6) Can I have a look at your CDs?
No. They are the tools of my living. They are arranged in a specific order. They are also a convenient size to hide under a jacket as you leave. You thieving little pikey.

7) What have you got?
Look, I carry over 250 CDs, with over 5000 tracks. I’m not about to list them for you. And no, you can't look. No. You can't press that button either.

8) When are you going to play something recent?
Oooh. About 30 seconds ago. And I'll probably play some more as soon as I've played some 70s for your Mom. Patience is a virtue. Now sod off.

9) Can you play [insert heavy metal tune]?
No. This is a wedding. You are the only person in this room who actually like to make his/her ears bleed. I know you have a bedroom wall full of their posters and you tattooed the lead singer's name on your arm with a compass and ink. But believe me, no one else likes them. And, contrary to your firm belief, the sight of you standing alone in the middle of the dance floor flicking your long greasy hair backwards and forwards, killing off your remaining brain cells, will not make young women weak at the knees. Queasy in the stomach maybe.

LMFAO!