Good Gig, Bad Gig.

[Nakatomi]

Had my first party of the new year last Saturday - a fancy army 'leaving' (more like being made redundant) party for a few brave souls who've seen action in whoknowswhere. I rolled up to set up the gear which had handily been stored there, did the best I could with the cables provided (honestly, 2 metre IEC cables just don't cut it when you're the kind of guy who likes his mains extension leads to stay on the floor). Then people started rolling in at 7pm & the five course meal was eventually served. The meal being done & dusted it was onto speeches & presentations. The lights were dimmed at 10.30pm & I got the party started . Getting folks dancing took about 15 minutes & I had them up for half an hour when the CO approached me to say that after the current song finished another guy was going to say a few words. Ok, fine.. I'll just have to get the ball rolling from scratch again... After 15 minutes 'Mister deejay' was given the goahead to get going again. That left me with a golden 30 minutes with which to dazzle them with my skills. Ahem.

I opened the last half hour by giving them both barrels. 5 minutes later the floor was packed again & stayed that way til the end of the night.

Next up was a 40th birthday party last Friday night. Not knowing the spec (oh, the joys of hotel residencies.. "It's a birthday party!" was all they'd tell me. Cheers!) I quizzed the staff as soon as I arrived & discovered it was for a lady. The lady's name? Oh, they didn't know that. Heh.

Background music autopilot engaged, I noticed people singing along. Wow, I thought.. this is going to be an easy night with an up for it crowd! Food was served at 8.30 & then the blessed children found out where I was hidden. The requests they bombarded me with ranged between peak-time actions songs & the kind of tracks with sweary titles. They came in groups at first, but later tried the age old trick of sending different people to ask for the same tune. Hahaha, I was so hip to that scam. Oh, then "when is the disco starting?" "When is the disco starting?" "When is the disco starting?" every 5 minutes. Bless the little dears. The best was one of the older girls though.. she started by asking whether I ever get bored standing up there all night. "Oooo, no", I lied. Later she took an interest in the tech, why I was using headphones, she even asked if the controller was a MIDI thing. (DJ does big double-take!). Maybe a future jockeyer of discs in the making?

Anyway, onto the party.. dancefloor packed out from the get-go & due to the kids' requests I possibly peaked too early.. all the big actions songs went great guns.. I went towards the Grease megamix.. which promptly cleared the floor. Meh. Maybe too many big tunes too early on.. Despite describing how to find me, & reiterating that requests would be welcome dancers came in dribs & drabs & no adults asked for songs to be played. That was, until 11.45pm when suddenly, BANG! Full dancefloor, packed to the ginnels! I couldn't do any wrong.

12.20am & up came an actual request.. for Nakatomi's Children of The Night Ah well, as much as I detest the tune on it came & off came the venue's roof. I rounded off the night by announcing it was time for something slower.. JX - There's nothing I won't do.. which also took the roof off.

Was it a good night? Did the birthday lady have fun? I have it on good authority that she did, and that it was indeed a 'good' night.. but you could've fooled me.

[Nakatomi]

...
Anyhow, I got the kit I wanted in, and intended to give the recently acquired HDMIX a good run out, as a two hour gig with a big playlist was ideal for that. When I fired it up, it refused to see anything plugged into the USB port, and since the internal HD is presently blank, it wasn't a great lot of use. Grr. More fault finding to do. Hey ho.

Ouch! The new Numark gadget? Hope it's not poorly already!

[Shakermaker Promotions]

Last night I did a staff party for Debenhams at one of my hotel residencies.
For a Sunday night session it was a great turn out with 100 attending and they were definitely up for it.
When I was communicating with the organisers in advance of the party I sent them request forms so that the staff could request tunes in advance. Did I get any?
Nope!

Did I get any requests on the night itself?
Nope!

7.00pm start with an 11.30pm finish and the majority of those attending were female. The majority of those females were aged 18 - Mid-20's at a guess (which was quite pleasant )
At 7.00pm it was just the organisers there. By 7.30pm the place was packed and the dance floor was busy. I was trying to save the big dance floor fillers until later on in the evening and it was working as they were up for a party. 8.00pm a massive buffet came out and was hardly touched (my boxer had a nice few treats when I got home).
9.00pm we did a raffle and the organiser got on the mic and called out the numbers. She knew how to use a mic. Blimey! I had to turn her down a couple of times.

After that it was full on for the rest of the night. Most popular song was Uptown Funk unsurprisingly.
Everyone seemed to have a great time. Lots of clapping and cheering at the end and the organiser said she was going to book again for next year.

I went in a bit unprepared as their communication wasn't that great beforehand but it ended up being a really good night.

[mattydj50]

Next up was a 40th birthday party last Friday night. Not knowing the spec (oh, the joys of hotel residencies.. "It's a birthday party!" was all they'd tell me. Cheers!) I quizzed the staff as soon as I arrived & discovered it was for a lady. The lady's name? Oh, they didn't know that. Heh.

Sounds familiar. Last Saturday I had an advance fax from the hotel telling me that it was a 50th birthday party for the name of Wayne. Turned out to be a 40th (surprise) birthday party for a lady called Lynne who's husband had co-ordinated the arrangements. His name, Wayne? Nope - it was Shane.

Close then.

[Andy P]

Just before xmas I was booked to do – wait for it – a wedding with Karaoke. The Brides sisters were x-pro singers and had badgered her into having karaoke on so they could sing for her and sing the wedding dance.

I was at a nice seaside hotel so I was happy to take the gig on and they had been give some good references for my karaoke service as I’ve provided karaoke for a few “club singers” parties beforehand.

So I arrive, and am shown to the dance floor. Dance square was more apt and they’d even left me a table I didn’t need but couldn’t move it as the room was set. So between me and the table a 3^rd of the floor was taken up.

When I set up Karaoke I always try to get the speakers forward or parallel with the singer to reduce feedback. In this instance there were two hopes of that so I just had to set the levels lower. So the night starts and the singer is not happy with the reverb and delay I am using. I try a few other settings (it’s built into my mixer) but still not happy. If I turn the effects up too much the feedback doom starts – thankfully she has quite a powerful voice but I doubt the average karaoke singer will have the same.

The night goes fine bar 4 kids who want to sing Frozen and have been advised that the karaoke does not start till after the first dance and buffet and the groom is missing for the dance. It takes about an hour for him to arrive, imagine a wedding reception that started at 6 and the first dance is still not done by 9.30. And the kids are still moaning on.

We get done by 10.15 so there is 1.15hr left of the booking and we kick off the karaoke, mainly dominated by a bloke who cant sing for toffee, the two singing sisters and the kids. However I am approached by a nice young lady who asks to sing show me heaven as she sung it to her husband at their wedding. I say of course and queue it up and get her going. The track has decided to play a little slow (thanks VDJ8) so I use the slider to bring the BPM back to norm during a part with no lyrics.

Straight away I am accosted by singing sister number 1 who accuses me of spoiling her song by changing the key part way through and being totally unprofessional. I told her what I had done but she didn’t want to listen.

Thankfully the night was nearly over and I’d been paid so there wasn’t much to lose by now bar not getting any more bookings from her – which frankly I wouldn’t have accepted. While packing up the hotel staff and stripping down and the bride comes back down in a jogging suit and starts to tidy the room up. She tells me she hates her sisters and they spoiled the night and she can’t even be bothered to consummate the marriage so she will be driving some of the guests home as she doesn’t drink…

[Shakermaker Promotions]

I don't understand how people have problems getting information from residencies.
As soon as a booking is confirmed with a residency I make sure I have the customers details so that I can deal with them directly. I call them every Monday or pop in and see them to see if anything has come in that they haven't told me about and I get everything I need off them then.

With reference to Karaoke, I found that when I had singers that actually knew what they were doing, the built in effects on the mixer that I was using weren't good enough so I went out and bought a separate little mixer (Behringer Xenyx 1202FX) and it works so much better. It was less than £100.00. All I do is plug my main system in to that and still use it as I always do but then there is separate inputs of the mics and they have effects.

[Nakatomi]

Sounds familiar. Last Saturday I had an advance fax from the hotel telling me that it was a 50th birthday party for the name of Wayne. Turned out to be a 40th (surprise) birthday party for a lady called Lynne who's husband had co-ordinated the arrangements. His name, Wayne? Nope - it was Shane.

Close then.

I can't stand things like this. It doesn't take much effort on the part of the venue to record this information. Doing things more professionally will benefit everybody. The general attitude at my venues seems to be 'but it's just a disco'. When I first started out at these places the look of shock on staff's faces when I asked for names was hard to believe. Er... Why would I need to know, I'm just the guy stood at the back playing whatever I like & if some people dance it's just a happy coincidence, right?

[Benny Smyth]

I did a last minute 21st birthday on Friday night. Night was great - really nice people (both family and friends of the birthday boy) that were up for it.

The duty manager on the night though...

I was booked from 10pm until 1am after their sit down meal and speeches. After having already set up during the day, I rocked in at just after 9:30 and it was here that I was greeted by madam smiles.

DM: Oh, we've been looking for you!
Me: Really? How can I help?
DM: You're late!
Me: Pardon?
DM: You heard.

*in a moment of panic, I look at my watch*

Me: I'm booked from 10. I'm actually near enough 30 minutes early.
DM: They've not had any background music for their meals.
Me: I've not been asked to provide background music. Like I say, I'm booked to play from 10.
DM: Our DJs play background music.
Me: Do they get paid to do that?
DM: Of course.
Me: That'll be why then. Has he [the client] kicked off?
DM: Well, no. He asked if they could have some music and we couldn't do anything for them.

*I pull my 'huh?' face*

Me: Well what happened then?
DM: Nothing.

*It was here I thought to myself 'So what's the ing problem', but decided to leave it*

Me: Right...well, if he's still happy, that's the main thing.
DM: No it's not.
Me: The client being happy isn't the main thing?
DM: What I meant was that you're incredibly unprofessional.
Me: I'm sorry, I don't follow.
DM: Are you stupid? I've just explained to you what you've done wrong!

*deep breath and eye twitch, followed by me turning on my heels and walking off towards my setup*

What followed next was an interrogation on why I have a laptop and not CD players and what exactly is my backup should this laptop fail. It actually just got to the point where I just ignored her. I started sending emails from my phone whilst she was yabbering on at me. Eventually she took the hint.

Needless to say, I wrote an extensively detailed letter of complaint this morning.

[Nakatomi]

I don't understand how people have problems getting information from residencies.
As soon as a booking is confirmed with a residency I make sure I have the customers details so that I can deal with them directly. I call them every Monday or pop in and see them to see if anything has come in that they haven't told me about and I get everything I need off them then.

The venues just don't give out the information, despite being pressed for it. It's as ridiculous as it sounds, probably even more so. Heck, one of these places on NYE, the staff didn't know there was a 2am finish until they turned up for work. Honestly! Fyi this was a £50 a head night & there was no seating plan. Punters had to find their own tables. Oh then there was the 'we only have one piper, so can you delay the countdown to midnight by 5 or 10 minutes?' affair. It's amazing they're still doing so well.

[Shakermaker Promotions]

Needless to say, I wrote an extensively detailed letter of complaint this morning.

I would have done exactly the same thing and taken pleasure in doing so.
Last summer I had a wedding that was a 90 minute drive from my house. I was doing it for a very nice young lady that used to work at one of my residencies.
I turn up at this venue that think it's something special but isn't that stunning to be honest.
I parked up outside the venue and put on my hazard lights as I couldn't find the entrance. When I eventually found someone it was the photographer. She told me to beware of the battleaxe which I thought was amusing. Then she explained the situation and that I would have to pop in and see the battleaxe to arrange with her to open up the automatic security gates around the back.

I make my way to where 'she' is seated and the look I am ahem...greeted with is a look of instant disgust (I'm not that vile looking, honest guv!).
"Yes" she says. I explain that I am there to set up the Disco for the evening reception.
"You're early" she says...
"Yes I know, 40 minutes early" I replied "I got here quicker than I thought I would"
She's still looking at me like a piece of the proverbial but I put on a fake smile.
"Have we got your Public Liability documents?" she asks. "Yes, I sent them a couple of weeks ago" I reply. "I was dealing with *******" (can't remember the name sorry).
"I can't see them on the file" she says "You'll have to wait until I can see them before I let you set up"
"No problem, can you let me know where I can park up then please as I am on double yellows at the moment" I ask
"You need to drive around the back and wait by the automatic gates. When I see you there I will open them" she replies
"Would you mind jumping in with me as I have never been here before" I ask
"Sorry, that's out of the question" she replies

So, I get to this place 40 minutes early and by the time I have mucked around with her and then got the equipment in to the building and set up, I am behind time. She was an absolute horrible young woman who seemed to have a severe chip on her shoulder about something.
I popped back in to see her to let her know I was set up and it got worse.
"You can't leave your van where it is" she said "That's reserved for residents"
"Ok, where can I park?" I reply
She then goes on to tell me there is a pay and display car park about a mile down the road and I would need to go there. I had a £10 note on me so I ask her if she has any change.....guess what....NOPE!
"Are there any shops nearby where I can get some change then?" I ask (still trying my hardest to be polite)
"I don't know" she replies "You'll have to excuse me as I am very busy"

So, I get back to the van. I wait for her to open the automatic gates and then I look for the car park. I get there and there's one space left. I park up and then notice a newsagent opposite, buy a can of fizzy stuff and then chuck 4 golden nuggets in to the machine before walking very quickly back to the hotel. It's mid summer, it's baking hot and by the time I arrive back at the hotel I am a sweaty mess.
I see the photographer again and she simply says "Well?" I know what she's on about and I reply "What a nightmare"
I go to the bar and it's totally the opposite. The lady sees I'm a mess and pours me a pint of lime and soda free of charge.

I took massive pleasure in writing that email on the Monday. I was even told by the Bride that they weren't allowed to park their car where I wanted to either because it was "for the residents". As far as I know they wrote a complaint too.
The Bride contacted me a few weeks after and said that they were offered a free night with meal.
I received an email reply saying that the matter was being dealt with and then I had a phone call from the battleaxe herself apologising (who'd obviously been told to do it).

Customer service? She didn't know the meaning of it.