Good Gig, Bad Gig.

[Imagine]

So that's it....I'm officially done for 2025. I don't do corporate Xmas parties and NYE can do one in these parts!


I held the Imagine Xmas dinner for one tonight with cod and chips ('ow much???). Mrs Imagine was out with her lot dinning in style.

My last gig? A school disco and dressing up as the Big Man to hand out nearly 400 presents. It's hot, sweaty work, and definitely not my biggest earner (a school turkey dinner including skin on the gravy and a thank you hamper). BUT....it's absolutely worth it just seeing the pleasure on the kids' faces. Sometimes "giving back" is worth more than the big paying gigs.

The hugs from a three year old preschooler (safeguarding.....oh safeguarding) send warm shivers up my spine.

The playlist for the disco....KPop thrpugh and through....urgh!

BUT, they sang along, bounced in front of the booth, and no more chants for the Spanish Uncle at the end because Ms Head Mistress has access to my wireless mic and sorted that bit out!

I'm now in hibernation until Valentine's Day. A chance to reset, sort out my chaotic lock up, and to concentrate on getting fully booked for all day weddings in 2026..must trust the syste.....

Merry Christmas ya' filthy animals.....next year is goinjg to be sooooo much betterer

[Imagine]

Well, after the very long year that was January, last night saw me out on the road.

I've got to admit - this year at the moment looks abolutely terrifying in terms of bookings and turnover. I know many others are in the same boat but that doesn't make it any easier.....

So last night, a whole year in the making. I'd been booked by a good friend to provide a surprise party for her husband's (also a very good friend) 50th birthday with disco and selfie-pod. Know what, it really was a surprise, and his face was absolutely priceless! That made things worthwhile for a start.

I don't do birthdays anymore, so this was sort of a turning point as the last one on the books. Everything else is wedding only (and my Gawd this mile deep, inch wide niching down malarky is both hard work and terrifying at times).

This was never going to be a mega-dancy affair. Lots of friends from university days were in attendance, and I was always going to be more about background music than full on arms-held-aloft-sweaty-body dance floor action. Yes, dancing happened, yes there were sweaty bodies (mainly due to the fact the hotel had the heating on full blast ). Most of the dance floor action actually took place during the final 30 minutes.

It was absolutely brilliant to be out again after I don't know how many weekends at home.

But, it gave me a chance to test out the new lighting setup and give it a good shakedown. The photo's not brilliant but I now rock with 2 x Citronic Cosmopars, 2 x Fusion 100 spots, a two very reasonably priced lights from U-King (and those REALLY surprised me!). I was also on the Maui 5's because that's more than enough for this particular venue.

I also have the option of adding a glitter ball behind me (the spots are programmed to point at that for the slow dances).



The hardest part of this one - using the family Zafira instead of the van (the sign written van in the car park would have given the game away as he arrived.....the things I do for customers). All I'll say is that I have total respect for those that do this job in a car instead of a van. My Tetris achievement last night was beyond compare!

So that's February done. Other than a wedding fair in March, that's it until June. What the heck is going on in the wedding world at the moment?

[DJ Jules]

Friday night saw me DJ'ing my third wedding of the year. I've also provided photography for another wedding, DJ'd four birthday parties and my Karaoke package has been out on hire twice as well.

The wedding below had a theme that included Shiny disco balls so I put my hand in my pocket and bought one. And now I'm remembering all the reasons why I hate the things so much (plus I bought a ball with 5mm tiles, not 10mm) and I'm not sure I like it as much as a ball with larger tiles.


I still need to work on the positioning of the ball, moving heads, etc to get the best out of it, but it wasn't bad for a first attempt.

This wedding had quite a range of music (everything from T-rex and Abba to One Direction and Hazel Dean through to Chemical Romance and Arctic Monkeys) and the requests on the night went another direction again. Overall I think it went OK but... it's just one of those where I'm yet to get feedback and I don't feel like I fully understand their music tastes so I've been left wondering if I could have done better for them.

I have a Wedding on Friday night that was booked only a few weeks ago and has a first dance that was generated by an AI band (it's a first for me). I've been promised their music suggestions tonight but the brief is "general party music, followed by R&B/Dance and then a tech house set to finish".

Julian

[Imagine]

I'm not going to lie....2026 is turning out to be the quietest year on record.

And I'm not alone. I've spoken to a LOT of folk in this neck of the woods who are admitting the same thing. None of us can put a finger on what's wrong...web traffic is through the floor, lead-gen sites like Add2 are well down on leads, Bridebook and Hitched are tumbleweed.

So, it's been nice to be out twice this week, although not for weddings sadly.

Last Sunday, the local Primary School's FunDay (I've done this one since God was in short trousers) I'm still waiting to see the total raised but I'm betting it's a record despite the VERY wet weather the day before (I'm a sort of good luck charm...it's never rained on the day since I started being the MC for this one). A nice comment from one of the dance group displays - mine is by far the best PA system they use across the summer of fetes (they're talking about the Maui 5 GOs which they Bluetooth into and perform many times better on a school field than physics allows!)

Those same speakers were used tonight in my village hall. The bar staff don't like being deafened (poor venue design but hey ho). The local swimming club awards night...I love this one! PURE CHEESE from start to finish. OK, I HATE any song with an action dance but to see a massive hall filled with kids dancing to the Cha Cha Slide/Macarena is big win in my book.They're happy, I'm happy, I've been booked for next June and December...I'll take that.

Next week - i'm worried. A bride that's insisting no requests unless they come through her of the groom to stop any chance of "killing the vibe" on a completely proscribed playlist of 105 songs for a 5 hour wedding reception and a very sensitive sound limiter to boot....wish me luck!

[DJ Jules]

Next week - i'm worried. A bride that's insisting no requests unless they come through her of the groom to stop any chance of "killing the vibe" on a completely proscribed playlist of 105 songs for a 5 hour wedding reception and a very sensitive sound limiter to boot....wish me luck!

But is the playlist of 105 songs any good?

Julian

[Excalibur]

But is the playlist of 105 songs any good?

Julian

105? Pah. I had a playlist for a post wedding celebration, after five hours playing almost entirely from it, I still had about 150 tracks left! ( And this list was an absolute corker).

Tuesday I had a wedding covering for a resident who wanted to celebrate his birthday with his wife, rather than work.

It promised so much, and started so well. No playlist, Ed Sheeran - Camera first dance, just play what makes people happy, and can we put request slips on the tables?

I'd arrived early, just after room turn round had started, and got set up in good time. Photographer was a lovely lad, wanted cake cut and first dance over with, so he could go home, after a long day. So far, so good.

The first dance was delayed, because of a wardrobe malfunction on the bride's frock, and she changed into a short white number designed more for comfort than the ballgown she'd started with. Never mind, I kept slotting in extra filler tracks, until we were ready to go, and the tog could go home.


Did I mention the children?
The numerous children.
They made extensive use of the slips, but their writing was often hard to decipher. Never mind, I was coping somehow, with the help of the Prime GO and Tidal. We were desperately short of adults, the venue were unhappy about having so many young children with a midnight finish. Despite the fact that I was overrun with under tens, and playing for them as they were the ones asking for things, A guest came up ( for the first time ) and asked in a disgruntled manner why I wasn't playing some Eighties for the adults?
Well perhaps because the adults haven't actually asked for anything yet, we're two hours into a five hour gig, and I'm expecting the kids to go to bed at some point.

The eighties went down okay, but the floor fillers were all from the top shelf of the Cheese department. The request slips kept coming, I played what I could decipher ( Katseye was popular ) and what had some sort of chance of working, and at just after eleven, the bride admitted defeat, thanked me for a job well done, and called it a day. I mentioned the first dance was Camera, and confusingly, I'd also been given Photograph as a first dance at one point. I'd purposely kept this back till the end, and played it as the last track, which finished the evening off nicely.

For a midweek wedding with low numbers and lots of children, I'd say it went well.

[Imagine]

Last night, one I'd been looking forward to for a long while.

Lovely couple, very relaxed about literally EVERYTHING, what's not to like?

The venue is only 20 miles away, but takes me from Cambridgeshire, through Suffolk and into Norfolk (does that make me an international DJ? ). Sadly, they're some of the worst Fen roads imaginable and anything over 40mph is going to take the suspension out/bounce you off the road into a very deep drain/lose a battle of wills with a tree or overshoot a 100° bend.

I've been here many times since it became a wedding venue. The owner is a decent chap who listens to us DJs. Originally getting in was so bad (long, narrow, unlit gravel path) that people refused to take bookings. He's since opened a hole in the wall behind the marquee and load in/out is a doddle, so long as you don't run over the peacocks.

Add to this that because some of our ilk are complete idiots and take gigawatt sound systems, he's placated the neighbours and the licensing authority by installing his own sound system. I was dreading a sound ceiling, what I actually got was four LD Stingers flown above the dance floor. Yup, VERY happy with that. Apparently it's completely cut neighbour complaints so all's good.

There also used to be Gawd knows how many different lighting fixtures scattered around the marquee including for some reason, a digital countdown timer. They've been replaced with an array of Abstract pixel mapped tubes behind where I stand, and the effect is brilliant.



Oh, there's now an infinity dance floor as well. All in all, this venue has come on in leaps and bounds since Covid and it's a real treat to work there.

So, the actual gig. Nice and easy. Bride's into Abba (my favourite group of all time), Groom's into Fleetwood Mac (more brownie points), the playlist has been made up of guest invites, this was always going to be a winner.

However, the venue was hot, and it was a small contingent of guests (around 50). So until 10pm we went through a cycle of full dance floor for 30 mins, then an empty one whilst they re-hydrated and cooled down. I sort of expected that. When they WERE on the floor though, they lapped absolutely everything up.

For the last hour, the bride asks for recent clubby stuff from the 2010's to current. Well young lady, let me have a little look-see in my DJBeats folders. Seamless club style mixing and a full floor of singing, sweaty bodies. Last song of the night was actually a request (bride had no idea what she wanted). One of the guests came up at ten minutes before the end and asked for Super Trouper as a tribute to the bride.

What they got was the Mamma Mia soundtrack version (fitted perfectly with the very strict end time) - full dance floor, VERY happy couple and very happy DJ who spent the entire night with a big, beaming grin on his chops and came home with the same expression.

Next week, it's just the booth and the playout - the venue do the sound and lighting.

[Imagine]

So last night.....a venue that's been on my bucket list for a VERY long time (it's a steam/fairground museum in Norfolk that I'm know to frequent occasionally). Yes, I was a little excited at the prospect of being PAID to visit even though it's an hour and a half of driving.

BUT, I was told by the events manager a couple of weeks ago all I needed was my booth, my playout, and a couple of XLRs. She wasn't kidding. I certainly win the game of quickest setup and departure this weekend, 10 minutes either side with the van parked right outside the door.

The marquee itself is absolutely gorgeous. Air Con, masses of professionally programmed lighting, and the biggest sound ceiling i've ever seen. Even better, it's backed up by two massive subs either side of the booth and sounds absolutely awesome.

So far, win-win.

The B&G got married a couple of weeks ago so this was essentially an afterparty. The guests had arrived earlier in the afternoon to make use of the gorgeous gardens etc, with me starting at 7pm....the same time as food was being served

I was also in competition with a casino....and until they packed up at 10:30, my dance floor was tumbleweed. There was also the problem that the bar was selling gallons of Coca Cola and very little dancing juice

I'd thrown everything I'd got at the dance floor for very little return until then.

But, with the draw of the casino gone, it's playtime for me . Everything from country, to R&B, cheesy 90s pop (no...not the Macarena thankfully), and just a smattering of indie saw a full dance floor. There'll be an interesting new thread in the members area about the mix of music shortly too

All in all, a VERY slow burner but we got there in the end. Midnight finally came around, music off (strict), and in the van 10 minutes later for the 90 min drive home down windy Norfolkshire roads which aren't straight from one bend to the next.

[Excalibur]

But some of us take longer to recover to a point where we can recount our experiences, and by the time we're ready, we've forgotten about them!

Some of us also have Day Jobs, and aren't International Superstar DJ's either.

OK, last night. Father and son Birthdays, 30 and 60. Booked in March this year, local Village Hall, silly price, as I'm saving so much time and money compared to trekking across to the West Riding/Driffield/most other parts of God's County. Did I mention that I'm actually closer to some other counties than I am to parts of Yorkshire? it's a big place.

Cancelled in March. " Dad's booked a band. They're bringing a PA and DJ, so we won't need you.

A week ago- " The band are playing 9-11, and the function is 7-12, so we need you if you're available, and prepared to work". The PA was real, but the DJ that came with it had apparently achieved mythical status, i.e he/she didn't exist.

I hadn't filled the date, and I'm not turning down money and free pizza. " There's a pizza wagon, make sure you get some ".

I turned up over two hours early, and there's a young lady finishing setting up the PA, Turbosound 18/12 rig. I'd been in two minds whether to indulge in an arms race before setting off, and I'd left my subs at home, simply because I feared space issues, and I was right. The lady sound engineer was brilliant, really knew her stuff, and set up perfectly for the nine piece band, resisting the temptation to simply open up the throttles on an impressive rig, in favour of an excellent mix, at the right volume.

I squeezed into the corner, having been able to park my van about four paces from the fire exit close to my setup area. I did background for the first two hours ( first request was could I turn it down, as folk wanted to talk? I could hear conversations at the far side of the room )
So, two hours of fairly gentle stuff, band come on and do their set straight through, and I realise that the photos I've been sent of the set list I've asked for five times are actually the client's request list!
Thus, when I come on for my last hour, I've got a lot of special requests to get through, and more special ones which are apparently vital come in also. Especially, for Dad, Thunderstruck and Whole Lotta Rosie. Dials round to eleven on the HK's, and we're way above anything the Turbosound rig had been allowed to do.

Suffice to say, despite space constraints, a really easy gig, and happy customers and clients.

[Excalibur]

OK mate, a review of events, and were they eventful!!!
Before I'd left home, I set up a cobbled together Karaoke rig for a party next door, with a tablet that hadn't been charged up since Covid ( when Rishi Sunak bought me a nice new one ) running karaoke on Youtube, and an iphone running a fixed playlist from Spotify. Private function, no rule breaking at all, Officer.

I arrived at my wedding venue ludicrously early, as is my wont, and as expected was refused entry. Now wouldn't you think, that when a DJ turns up so early to get every possible minute of time available to him during turn round, that the staff might not actually start turn round without telling him?

By chance, I'd started trundling the kit in anyway, and didn't lose too much time. The wedding rig isn't too hard to deal with and I comfortably beat the deadline I'd been given to let the guests back in. Venue then proceeded to bring them in ten minutes after the deadline they'd given me, which apparently vital to meet, as they wanted the bar for a coach party, which I know had come in.

Added to this, I had to sneak in a sax player booked by the groom as a surprise, plug her in to my kit, and play the wrong song for the first dance to let the sax player pop up and rescue me. Well come on, I'm an old bloke, I get things wrong from time to time, eh? Somehow, ably assisted by the lovely Amy the sax player, we pulled that one off nicely. The cunning plan was then to have Father/Daughter dance next, let the sax player do a set, and see how the evening unfolded.

First dance absolute success, Father/Daughter hit a snag: absence of male party. Function Manager has the brilliant idea, cut the cake, then let sax player loose. Genius, well done Manager. I must point out that I'd had contact with Amy previously, and I'd be happy to have more. She turned up with an adaptor cable from iPhone to two phono for her backing music ( which she handled entirely ) and a radio mic rig for the sax. All worked really well, and didn't involve me much, excellent.

Buffet comes out during first set, so I have to butt in to announce that, and during the night I have to announce various things like " please keep the anklebiters in this room only, please don't vape inside the premises", and other such gems. Then what looked like a promising young crowd wanting lively EDM swerved off into Bassline and 75bpm dirges. Dear Lord, it's a joyous celebration, and one request was " dying only hurts the first time".

Apart from requests for only half a dozen of The Usual Suspects, it was dire. Surprisingly, many of them stayed with me to the end, and I got a round of applause. Juan Moore got told to eff off, he wasn't needed this time.