Good Gig, Bad Gig.

[Shakermaker Promotions]

Blimey! Sounds like a nightmare!

Well, if Friday's gig was one of the best and easiest nights I have ever done, tonight's booking which was covering for another DJ who was ill was definitely the opposite.
He'd contacted me on Friday and asked if I'd be ok to cover the booking for him just incase he couldn't do it as he wasn't feeling too great. After Friday's great night I didn't sleep much and on Saturday he asked if I could do it as he had some kind of stomach bug.
He gave me the details (not many to be honest) and I decided that I'd help him out. As I said in my previous post, I am always a bit apprehensive when I am not dealing with my own customers. I like to meet in advance to find out exactly what they want and like and how the night is going to run. I had no chance of that on this occasion.

The equipment was still in the van from the night before (oops!) and so I thought "Why not?". A 10 minute drive up the road to the local Rugby Club was my destination for a 10 year school reunion. On arrival I noticed that the car park was rammed so I parked as close to the club as I could. On previous visits access to the club has always been a pain in the proverbial and for the next 5 minutes I was dreading it. Now, this is where I felt a tad stupid if I am honest. There were a lot of people sat outside drinking in the sun and I noticed a lot of cars and vans on the fields. There was / is a kite festival on over the weekend. I jump out of the van and head for the hall side of the club (it is split in 2 and has 2 bars. 1 for members and 1 for private functions). The place is empty, the shutters are down over the bar and there are stacked tables and chairs everywhere. This is 45 minutes before I am due to start! I head to the other bar which is pretty busy with rugby players and members and I let the girl behind the bar know that I am there and ready to set up. She looks at me as if I have said something totally unbelievable and then says "I didn't know anything was on in there. First I've heard of it". I am beginning to wonder what is going on and then a guy taps me on the shoulder and says "Is that your van out there mate? Can you move it please as someone needs to get on to the field". I still don't know who he was but I walked outside with him and he was the one that made my life a lot easier all of a sudden. "If you want to set up for tonight then the easiest way is to drive on to the field and back right up to the back door". On the previous occasions that I have visited the venue over the years I didn't even know you could do that and had never been told either!.......Massive D'oh! moment.

By doing this I had everything inside and set up within 30 minutes. 2 bar staff turned the place around in super quick fashion and it actually looked like there was something going on. I was due to start at 7.30pm and as I was sound checking I was approached by a stunning looking young lady in one of the smallest and tightest dresses I have ever seen. "You must be Gary" she said..."Pleased to meet you" and with that she hugged me. We got chatting and she thanked me for covering the booking. I asked her what type of music she wanted and the first thing she said was "We really don't want any of that cheesy Macarena stuff". She went on to say that they all left in 2005 so to play lots of current stuff and stuff from 2000 onwards. She also said that she didn't know how many were coming for certain but of the 60 that said they were, the majority would all like RnB & Garage etc...... Gulp! Right....er....just my cup of tea....NOT!

7.45pm and it is just myself, the 2 bar staff and Miss Cutey. 8.00pm and it's still the same. 8.30pm and 6 other girls have turned up, all in the same kind of dresses and all just as cute. I didn't want to smile too much but it was a nice view.
I think it was around 9.00pm when a few more walked through the door and congregated around the bar area. Every now and then Miss Cutey would look over, give me the thumbs up and smile. Apart from the 2 guys behind the bar and myself, there was one other guy at that time until 9.30 ish when a whole bunch of girls and guys turned up.
I'd been mixing the genres from past and present and the vibe was good but nobody was dancing at all. I'd been doing this for 2 hours and it felt like the longest 2 hours ever. I realised at the time that it could be like this until Midnight because it was a reunion. They were all chatting and catching up with eachother, sharing stories etc and although it was probably great fun for them, it wasn't much of an occasion for me. I couldn't tell if they were enjoying what I was doing or hating it but Miss Cutey and her thumbs up gestures was enough to keep me relatively happy. She came over at one point and yet again hugged me and said "I am so happy, this is great. Just keep doing what you're doing".

I think it was 10.30pm when a lady came over and asked if she could use the microphone after the next song. It was a case of typical bad timing as for the first time all night a few girls ventured on to the dance floor to dance to Usher - Yeah. "No problem at all" I said. It turned out that she was the head teacher and she got tearful on the microphone as she told everyone that she was proud of them and that she'd had an excellent evening catching up with everyone. She got a round of applause. I followed her speech with Uptown Funk and the dance floor suddenly packed out....."Hallelujah" I thought to myself....but it didn't last long. I lost count of the number of times I had told everyone that I would take requests but I did it again....."Guys, we've still got plenty of time for lots of requests so if you have any please come up and let me know"....then there was the usual 'witty' heckling of "clear off!" from a guy at the back. It was that same guy that came over a bit later and asked me to play The Beatles for him. He requested Help and I laughed...."Do you have it?" he asked...."Yes, of course" I replied..."I just need some help myself tonight as it's been hard work". He tapped me on the shoulder and said "Why man? It's been a great night" and that kind of reassurred me even though his previous heckling had done my head in a bit.

A few 60's tracks got him and a few others up on to the dance floor and then I had the pleasure of a visit again from Miss Cutey and a couple of her clones..."Gary, do you have The Killers, Mr Brightside" she asked....."Yep!" I replied..."I'll get it on for you shortly"....Once again I got a hug...not only from her but her 2 friends too and a comment of "Isn't he great".
Approaching 11.15pm and for the first time all night the dance floor became very healthy. The Killers did the trick. The Strokes and Jet kept them on the dance floor too....well, most of them. One girl came over and was quite rude...."Excuse me, what do you actually think you're doing?" she shouted at me..."Excuse me?"...."What is this?" she replied...."Can't you play some party stuff?". I explained (or tried to) that she'd need to give me an idea of what she wanted to hear but she just walked off.
I played some 80's stuff as requested....Whitney, Michael Jackson, Weather Girls & B52's and then someone asked for ACDC's Thunderstruck. By now I was just thinking "Give them what they want to hear". I had around 20 minutes left at the time and one of the bar staff told me that they'd all been saying they were going soon to go into town to continue the party.

Blues Brothers and Proud Mary (without the intro) followed and then another very nice young lady came over and said "We're going soon, can you play Build Me Up Buttercup?". Ok....might as well. As it was playing Miss Cutey came over again with a massive smile on her face "Thanks so much, it has been brilliant" she said "Everyone has loved it". With 10 minutes to go she told me that Build Me Up Buttercup might as well be the last one as their taxis would be there soon. Another hug or 3 followed and a few thank you's from the Beatles and ACDC requesters and that was it. I got on the microphone and thanked them and told them to enjoy the rest of their evening. I've never seen a place empty out so quickly and I was kind of glad too. My feet were killing me, I was hot and tired and just wanted to get packed up and get home. As I was packing down the 2 guys from behind the bar started tidying up and collecting glasses and both told me that they'd had a really good night. Hold on guys.....if truth be told I wasn't bothered whether they'd enjoyed themselves in reality because they were working. I wanted to know what the guests thought. I didn't have to ask and was surprised (yes, really!) when they told me that everyone at the bar actually DID really enjoy the night. Just like Miss Cutey had told me at the end (I thought she was just being 'nice'), everyone had been commenting on how good the music was.

The thing is, I couldn't tell could I? They didn't show me via the dance floor really so how was I to know. Had I seen some or heard then I may have enjoyed the night a bit more but it was one of those nights where I really earnt my money. I'd go as far as saying that it was one of the hardest nights I have ever done and (touch wood), it surely can't get any harder than that? Everything else from now on will be a doddle (I hope).

Again, another classic case of...it doesn't matter if we don't enjoy it or it is hard work or the dance floor isn't busy all night.....it's what they, the customers think and by all accounts they had a great time. Me, I was just glad it was all done and today I can chill out.

[Nakatomi]

Blimey! Sounds like a nightmare!

Well it was a bit frazzling on the old nerves.

... Proud Mary (without the intro) followed

Now there's an idea! Why hadn't I thought of that before?

Again, another classic case of...it doesn't matter if we don't enjoy it or it is hard work or the dance floor isn't busy all night.....it's what they, the customers think and by all accounts they had a great time. Me, I was just glad it was all done and today I can chill out.

Oh, and I forgot about the head barman asking me to remind customers to keep their drinks off the dancefloor. With the floor covering all but the tabled area except one 8 foot square section next to the bar that was always going to be tricky.

The next wedding there will involve 10 of their big round tables set out - last night's had eight & it was quite a squeeze getting between tables as it was.

Moving on, my speaker stands & cables should come next week.. then I just need some more lights & I'm all set... oh and I'll be buying a sub & a hazer too Aaaand a DMX controller.

[Shakermaker Promotions]

I made the mistake of playing the full length version of Proud Mary a few years ago and it took ages to get going.
I decided to edit it in audacity and re-tag it as Proud Mary FAST VERSION. I always seem to follow it with Everybody by the Blues Brothers.

[Nakatomi]

I made the mistake of playing the full length version of Proud Mary a few years ago and it took ages to get going.
I decided to edit it in audacity and re-tag it as Proud Mary FAST VERSION. I always seem to follow it with Everybody by the Blues Brothers.

Hahaha! I tend to go that way too, but try not to repeat segues to keep the staff guessing

I've never not played the full version & it always draws a very mixed reaction from people who don't know it & of those who are familiar with it sometimes it takes them a couple of minutes to twig. I generally play it after a pretty fast rock & roll set so the slow build gives dancers who stay a bit of a rest. When the buildup does get a good reaction it usually results in a big circle forming with people linking arms & it's a pleasure to see that kind of thing being triggered

[Nakatomi]

One thing though.. do you not have hot cues? I can set up to four for every track & skip whole sections out on the fly, or just start from different places & I find it the best thing since going digital.

[Shakermaker Promotions]

Yeah, I have hot cues on both the Denon HD2500 and Denon HD4500 but I hardly ever use them.
One day I may spend a day going over stuff and sorting bits like that out.

[Andy P]

I made the mistake of playing the full length version of Proud Mary a few years ago and it took ages to get going.
I decided to edit it in audacity and re-tag it as Proud Mary FAST VERSION. I always seem to follow it with Everybody by the Blues Brothers.

There are quite a few versions out there that dont have the build up

[Andy P]

Saturday night was a 40th birthday surprise party at New Hartley. The locals give each other 6 in this town which is rife for inbreeding and tonight was not going to be a let down.

Set up on a smallish stage with a drum kit behind me. During the PA test it was like having a drummer on stage as the drums vibrated from the bass. It was another upstairs gig and this time no fire escape to use - just up the main stairs. I really envy you southern lot working on the ground floor, my back is weakening at an alarming rate.

So 8pm comes and the birthday boys taxi pulls up, but one woman cant wait and rushes to the toilet spoiling the entry - the dude just walks in past the guests to the bar. For some reason I can find his playlist then realise for some bizarre reason that his partner had sent it to my personal email by mistake as i'd not changed the server on my phone when I contacted her for it. Panic over it was to my delight almost all 80's stuff so after a blast of charts and the buffet we had a good old 80's disco.

4 people danced, it wasn't a packed room and many of the guests had very young kids. Come 10pm the hall half emptied. of the 3 rows of tables one was completely empty. Once I'd done the playlist started some of my own stuff and got a few more up. 11 came and I was ready for the off but what. Got asked for an encore and loads of people came over to shake my hand and compliment the music. Gave out about 4 cards and a bloke asked me how much to play for another hour.

I gave him the price but advised i'd need the bar staff to agree to the extension so he trekked off and I selected up some more hits. After about 15 mins the bar lad came over to say it was ok however he didn't get back to the bar before the place went up with a huge scrap. I was going to cue up 'benny hills theme' but they were getting to close to my kit so I was off the stage and in front of it.

The protagonists were separated, one was the guy who was supposed to be paying but he was ejected so I turned off and started to pack. It was then I realised I must have got a bit too close to the action and had what felt like a broken finger. Luckily its not but its bloody sore. I never got stuck in just kept them away from the stage and all the gear was untouched.

Sunday has been spent nursing a bad back and poorly finger lol

[Benny Smyth]

Performed at a wedding on Saturday night, and there was one aspect that was certainly different.

During the consultation, it became abundantly clear that the B&G were really into Dimitri Vegas and Like Mike and enjoyed that style of house music. The groom mentioned that it would be hilarious to have champagne sprayed over everyone dancing. I just laughed with him and said "Yeah, that'll be cool", then thought nothing more of it.

I rock up on Saturday night and get set up. Nice and easy load in onto a stage and off I go. During the background music, the groom walks over with a box. He plonks it down next to me and gives me the thumbs up before walking off. I look down at the box and see that it's actually a case of Moët & Chandon. My initial thought was "What a waste" quickly followed by "I wonder if I can swap this out for prosseco without anyone noticing?"

First dance out of the way and people start rocking the place almost immediately, with me thinking to myself that we've peaked far too early! Best man comes over for a chat during the buffet and asks how are we going to do the spray thing then. Now bearing in mind that I'd been racking my brain for ages trying to work it out, it was only at that moment that it occured to me to type 'Champagne' in the search facility on Traktor.

One of the results that came up was Champagne Showers by LMFAO (obvious one, in hindsight). Just told the best man to keep an ear out for it, but don't tell the B&G when it'll happen. Got to about 11:30 and I start to play it, and I immediately look at the B&G. Their eyes light up and they clocked onto it straight away. Up comes the best man and three other guys. So, with those four along with me and my roadie, we line up on the front of the stage, wait for the appropriate part of the track (click here if you're interested, the build up to which starts at 5:14) and started shaking the bottles. I'm pretty sure that I got just as much on me as everyone else did, but hey ho - it was something different and truly hilarious. I'm sure I spotted a couple of phones recording it, so if I can track down the video, I will.

B&G were delighted with the night overall and I got £100 forced into my pocket by the groom. Result for me!

Like I always say to clients - weddings are certainly not the same as they were 10-15 years ago.

[Excalibur]

Coffee and biccies at the ready? Then I'll begin. This one's been trials and tribulations from the start. They couldn't quite grasp the concept of Echosign ( I thinki they wanted to print it, sign it, and scan it. ) and steadfastly communicated by text, rather than email. Small thing I know, but another stone in the shoe.

18th Birthday, mid June, so we're having a Christmas party. Can I get dressed up? OK, elf costume, no probs. I've worn worse. Then later, can I project a DVD for them. I'll see what I can do. Ebay comes up trumps, and I have a projector. Then can I get some inflatable guitars and saxes? Ebay again, all sorted. There's a band on as well, can I light them? Of course, I've got a Powerbar.

I know access to the place isn't good, but I'm not prepared for what I find. In forty years, I've never had one as bad, and I've stood on tables to get kit onto balconies and climbed ladders. Good job I'm ludicrously early.

Car park holds four, count 'em four vehicles. It's virtually in another postcode. Trek across the beergarden, into an unfeasibly narrow corridor with many twists and turns, leading to stairs. The room's tiny, and the band have all one end. Discos often cut back when space is limited, and high volume isn't needed. This band didn't. With the size of the backline, they only needed a couple of small tops for vocals. Not fifteen inch Wharfedale subs and tops. Hey ho.

So the DJ gets the far corner. Far away from the sockets, so extension and gaffa time. Fortunately, birthday girl's family lend a hand to get kit in, and I start to rig it all. Powerbar behind me in the corner, pointing in the band's direction, and speakers as high as possible close to me. I had a laptop solely for the projector, and the projector was sat on an Ultimax laptop shelf, which was ideal. Anyway, I get it all working, and the DVD arrives. It's a burn one. And it's blank. Can I project a christmas type piccy myself? No, I wasn't asked for that.

Family decide that we'll use the master copy of the DVD, which has apparently embarrassing soundtrack. Doesn't matter, cos the lappy isn't connected to the PA. Oh, that's alright then. Second one arrives, and works well enough.

Right, let the fun begin. First of all, we'll have a choir singing carols. Eventually it's my turn, and away I go. I've got a big playlist to work from, and a couple of events to slot in, as per running order. So, the running order changes. No probs, until I get to the amended earlier time of the first event, and nobody's ready, so I suggest we revert to the original schedule. Good idea, we'll do that.

Time for the band, they're late, and they're ing loud!! Very very good, but loud. Imagine three guitars, and a very hard hitting drummer in your front room, and you've got it in one. 70's rock, Thin Lizzy Free, Deep Purple and the like. My sort of music, but very loud. Band finish, and time for first event. Balloons in memory of a beloved uncle. Could I say a few words, then play the special song? No problem. Throughout the evening, I'm only being given half the information. Balloons are readied, and I start. Ah. Readying the balloons is a long process, involving tying cards to helium balloons. Keep playing music, till they're ready. I do the absent friends speech, and play the special song. Everybody heads outside, to release the balloons. You might have told me, eh?

All eventually come back, and it's soon time for the band. Who are nowhere to be seen. And a right pain at handovers. Even worse at the end of their sets, I have to guess if they've finished, cos they sure as hell don't tell anyone. They kick off over fifteen minutes late, and off we go again. Like I said, they're really very good musically, they just suck in most other respects.

I'm now on till finish, and the second event is when the birthday gir's Dad will enter dressed as Santa. I get a big nod for this, and play the special song, which all comes as a big surprise to the birthday girl. Touching moment, and very nice. Back to the music, and it's three distinct areas. Xmas classics, Cheese/kids songs ( Macarena, Music Man, Hokey Cokey ) , and Rock of any flavour.

Earlier on, I'd called in reinforcements, and Justin turned up with half an hour to go. Good job, more of that later. We blow up guitars and saxes ready for the last song, I wish it could be Christmas every day. While we're handing them out, I'm told that you'll never walk alone was a favourite of the deceased uncle, so I drop the volume, and play out with that, works well.

So, to packing up. Justin hits the light switches, and we're blinded with unaccustomed light. Well no, actually nothing happens. The fuse for the lights has blown, and luckily we know where the relevant box is, it's in the manager's office. The locked Manager's office. The locked office of the Manager who isn't here. Ah well, Powerbar's going to be last out then. We derig, carry out everything except the powerbar, and return for it, armed with a torch. The band are at the far end, and not amused when we unplug. ( Secretly, I was, just a tiny bit. )

The van is now all loaded, so I can get home. Except I can't, because I left the internal lights on, and the battery's flat. Justin's Civic and a tow rope cure that though, the lad's a star. I'm heading home for a couple of richly deserved cans.

Like I said, I don't get paid enough for this crap.