Good Gig, Bad Gig.

[Nakatomi]

If you're a bell end when sober you're going to be a bigger one when drunk.

Most of us grow out of the getting smashed and being a prat at public events in our 20s but a fair few miss the memo and you're right, it does make you question shy we do the job at times.

What I & the venue staff see quite a lot is the kind of person who thinks they own you because they're spending money. Dance little monkey, dance! It demeans us all not just when they don't say please & thankyou but when they make demands. No, you've got to drop everything & do what *I* want NOW! I shrug most of it off but it can wear a soul down after a while.

The gropey man on Sunday was trying to convince me to do his bidding conpletely the wrong way. I explained that in my fairly long DJ career, so far every single 'it'll get everybody up' has been a blatant LIE.

Requests are always more than welcome. Demands can go take a jump off a cliff.

A strange aspect of Sunday's playlist was a Ne-Yo track. A bridesmaid came up & explained there was a song she didn't want to hear under any circumstances. I dug a little & she explained why & that the bride knew the full story. "There" I said. "It's gone. I don't want anyone to get upset". The track? The Ne-Yo one. It was the bridesmaid's brother's funeral song & would've been a trigger. How can people be so insensitive?

[ukpartydj]

It was the bridesmaid's brother's funeral song & would've been a trigger. How can people be so insensitive?

This sort of thing annoys me and I think I'm the minority here. But do people go out of their way to be upset by things? Try to find the bad in people or twist words to sound like they're being insulted somehow?

It's just attention seeking, unless the song was a track about killing yourself and really blatantly about that and that's what happened stop your whining, even then if it was an accident, grow up! It's a good song and it likely brings good memories to some who don't feel the need to find reason to be upset, maybe somebody wants to hear it because if that connection?

If somebody asked me not to play it then fair enough, mental note that said person is one of those types and I'd prefer an easy night

[Nakatomi]

Of all the requesters that night she was easily the most polite & reasonable. Go figure.

[Jim - Scotland's Party DJ]

This sort of thing annoys me and I think I'm the minority here. But do people go out of their way to be upset by things? Try to find the bad in people or twist words to sound like they're being insulted somehow?

It's just attention seeking, unless the song was a track about killing yourself and really blatantly about that and that's what happened stop your whining, even then if it was an accident, grow up! It's a good song and it likely brings good memories to some who don't feel the need to find reason to be upset, maybe somebody wants to hear it because if that connection?

If somebody asked me not to play it then fair enough, mental note that said person is one of those types and I'd prefer an easy night

Is it really going out of your way to be upset by the memory of your brothers funeral?

The last question I ask at any consultation is if there's any emotional tune maybe linked to funerals or previous weddings that I should avoid - it's usually stuff I wouldn't play anyway but I don't want the grooms grandad crying in the corner because Brown Eyed Girl was his and his dearly departeds "song" - it's a no brainer and although it's actually rarely used, it avoids any, let's be honest, completely avoidable, situations where your clients or any of their guests become upset.

Just my 2 bob

[Nakatomi]

Is it really going out of your way to be upset by the memory of your brothers funeral? The last question I ask at any consultation is if there's any emotional tune maybe linked to funerals or previous weddings that I should avoid - it's usually stuff I wouldn't play anyway but I don't want the grooms grandad crying in the corner because Brown Eyed Girl was his and his dearly departeds "song" - it's a no brainer and although it's actually rarely used, it avoids any, let's be honest, completely avoidable, situations where your clients or any of their guests become upset.Just my 2 bob

Precisely Jim.

The track wasn't all that important & based on what had already gone down well during the night wouldn't have had a great reception anyway.As for your last 2 gigs.. I'm not sure I could've kept my lid on with all that aggro - well done that man.

The last trigger track situation I had, I was asked to repeat a playing of a playlisted song not half an hour since it was last on. The bride came over & asked me to cut it because it'd been played at a family funeral recently. Hang on, so why was it on the blinking playlist in the first place?! Then of course I had to contend with the ire of the people who asked for the repeat play because I'd cut it short! I always ask - are there any tracks they'd like me to avoid for emotional reasons & when they come up I'm happy to oblige.

The last one I can remember was Queen's 'Don't Stop Me Now'. Another difficult one came at a wedding last year where somebody asked me to dedicate a song to the bride & her dad. Her dad, and I delicately checked this was the case, definitely was no longer with us anymore. What is wrong with some people? Sod the folks who go out of their way to get upset.. what about the ones who go out of their way to upset people?

[Excalibur]

Whoa there lads! I think of all the requests, don't play XYZ, it was at my ( insert loved one here)'s funeral is one I have no hesitation in complying with. It can upset people tremendously.

On the other side of the coin, often we're asked to play that sort of song to remind people of the good times related to that person.

Both equally valid viewpoints.

[mattydj50]

Whoa there lads! I think of all the requests, don't play XYZ, it was at my ( insert loved one here)'s funeral is one I have no hesitation in complying with. It can upset people tremendously.

On the other side of the coin, often we're asked to play that sort of song to remind people of the good times related to that person.

Both equally valid viewpoints.

Absolutely correct. Its when, after you've played a particular song, that someone gives you grief (or as once happened to me, a hand to the throat) as "why are you playing that song, it was granny's funeral tune" that gets me. Certainly sir, and would you like tomorrow's lottery numbers while you wait?

[ukpartydj]

Is it really going out of your way to be upset by the memory of your brothers funeral?

Hard to answer, for me, if I got upset I would be going out of my way. May I suggest that by explaining the situation they've already thinking about their brothers funeral?

What is wrong with some people? Sod the folks who go out of their way to get upset.. what about the ones who go out of their way to upset people?

Hard to know for sure but I would always wonder if they just like to hear the song which relates to their loved ones and another person thinks it's a blatant attempt to upset them?

Whoa there lads! I think of all the requests, don't play XYZ, it was at my ( insert loved one here)'s funeral is one I have no hesitation in complying with. It can upset people tremendously.

Likewise, if it's asked I don't play it ... it's not played no questions asked.

A couple of times I've had people come over to me either upset or on behalf of somebody who is upset because of this funeral song matter halfway through playing the track, I just personally think it'd be easier to let the song play and have a little emotional moment rather than get upset.

[Nakatomi]

Hard to answer, for me, if I got upset I would be going out of my way. May I suggest that by explaining the situation they've already thinking about their brothers funeral?



Hard to know for sure but I would always wonder if they just like to hear the song which relates to their loved ones and another person thinks it's a blatant attempt to upset them?



Likewise, if it's asked I don't play it ... it's not played no questions asked.

A couple of times I've had people come over to me either upset or on behalf of somebody who is upset because of this funeral song matter halfway through playing the track, I just personally think it'd be easier to let the song play and have a little emotional moment rather than get upset.

I see your point now. By 'become upset' you mean give people grief for something they probably had no idea could be misconstrued. Fair comment.

I was at a work christmas bash once & a colleague got the DJ to play a song dedicated to a departed coworker. A grand gesture born out of good intentions but boy did it ever miss the target. It brought all the pain of losing our friend in awful circumstances flooding right back. Were we being selfish by being upset with him? I don't think so. It took some of us a while to realise it wasn't a sick joke though. Did we crucify the DJ who had no idea the subject wasn't with us anymore? No I didn't but one of our number did. Did we need that doing to help remember our friend in the middle of previous parties being part of the mayhem? Christ no.

[Excalibur]

, I just personally think it'd be easier to let the song play and have a little emotional moment rather than get upset.

And there you have it.

Personally.

We're all different.