Good Gig, Bad Gig.

[Excalibur]

Don't panic, we didn't have anyone giving birth, but it was a Christmas party for 56 NHS Maternity staff, with as far as I could see, one member of the male persuasion! With some of the behaviour and outfits, I'd have been happier playing to the Cardiology department!

How it came about is still shrouded in mystery. For the second time this year, and for reasons I'm still no wiser about, we had a merry go round of DJs and venues, and at the beginning, I wasn't even on the ride, already having a booking. Somehow, when the music stopped the first time, there was one DJ short, and the lad covering tried to get cover himself. The resident ( who I knew ) popped up and said it was actually his gig, and I contacted him to say I was available. To say I was welcomed with open arms would be an understatement! He'd had to vet unknowns to get the first cover, and he was delighted to have a known quantity in place.

The gig: He was in the function room, and I got the restaurant area. Last time I did this, it was a squeeze. A tight squeeze.
However: in common with most of this chain, it's ( still ) having a facelift, and rather than a squeeze, they wanted a big rig covering space. Fortunately, there was enough kit in the van, and I got an acceptable rig together, to the approval of the resident.

Three course meal, and apparently " all inclusive ". Oh dear, the demon drink again. By the sweet course they were like greyhounds straining in the slips ( read your Shakespeare, you ignorant lot. Henry V, act III, scene 1 ) and half a dozen of them ignored the pudding, and attacked the dance floor. We were off and running.

Well it was at times a two edged sword, with requests aplenty, but lots of cut throats too. One young lady came up to berate my music policy, and as a sweetener, gave me a great big kiss on the cheek ). The age old story of " play this, we'll all love it, floor will be rammed " and it goes on to three folk coming up and saying we don't like this, get it off immediately. Indie didn't work at all ( Mr Brightside got actual complaints ) Christmas got requested ( Mariah is number one again, Wham three, and Slade four, with some in the charts which haven't seen the light of day for aeons ) R&B did a creditable bit, and towards the end, we hit the cheeseboard big time, even Oops filling the floor, with an almost perfectly synchronised performance.

At one point I had a lady with her hand in my pocket- Oo er Matron! Turns out she wasn't after my loose change, but had slipped me a tenner! Blimey! All in all, a fabulous, if slightly hectic night, and I must say that one of the big bonuses of this venue is the attitude of the staff. They are all absolutely lovely, and an absolute pleasure to work with. Holiday Inn Wakefield, take a well deserved bow.

Back to Forest Pines tonight, apparently I'm upstairs with Take That. The big quandary is whether to fight them with the full 1812, or just the tops.

[Excalibur]

Where the do I start?

Despite hacking bookings through the month, Mr Western's hotel wanted four on one night. Everything was upside down, and I got the live act. So what do you do, when faced with a live act, well you bring out the big guns. Yup, cue one power crazed idiot arriving stupidly early, bringing the 1812 upstairs in the lift, and setting up as small a rig as possible, due to the " interesting " positioning of the dancefloor! ( Another yard forward would have been ideal ). My tribute act then proceeded to turn up with two 12" Altos, and a 12" sub. I should have left the subs at home, which would have solved another problem in the van, space. More later.

Matthew was already rigged downstairs, from Friday, and Disco 3 was set up in the secret door room. ( With a live act covering 97% of the available back wall ). Disco 4, well disco 4 was 50 miles away, waiting for Green Flag!

As I said earlier, taking the subs meant I couldn't get the Polars in the van as well, so we had no spare cabs to get music in room 4. Matthew hurtled off to grab DJ 4 and his kit, while I put a Mastermix type thing on his rig, and loaded Automix on mine. Once Matthew and the luckless Andy returned, three of us ferried the kit upstairs to room 4, and left Andy to it. Fortunately, all rooms were having a three course dinner, and watching footy, so the late start was of little, if any consequence.

Four good nights followed, by all accounts, and we got to packing up. Matthew had planned to leave his rig, and take Andy home, but it turned out that he couldn't leave it in that room, so after a bit of thinking, and logistics, it seemed obvious that I needed to get two rigs in the van, and take Andy home, as I lived in vaguely the nearest direction to his home. Long story short, we played the Oriental art of Van Tetris, and set off for the M62. Normally, I would turn right when I hit this, and head for Goole, but this time I went left, towards Leeds. Once I'd dropped Andy and his kit off, I put my address in the sat nav, and realised instantly what was going to happen. I wasn't going back to the motorway, to cruise monotonously home, but going cross country, on a route which would see me passing motorway signs all the way, but ignoring them, in favour of villages, towns, and all manner of traffic calming measures, like junctions and traffic lights.

I saw bed gratefully at 4am, and little else till 11.30am!

[mattydj50]

Where the do I start?

Despite hacking bookings through the month, Mr Western's hotel wanted four on one night. Everything was upside down, and I got the live act. So what do you do, when faced with a live act, well you bring out the big guns. Yup, cue one power crazed idiot arriving stupidly early, bringing the 1812 upstairs in the lift, and setting up as small a rig as possible, due to the " interesting " positioning of the dancefloor! ( Another yard forward would have been ideal ). My tribute act then proceeded to turn up with two 12" Altos, and a 12" sub. I should have left the subs at home, which would have solved another problem in the van, space. More later.

Matthew was already rigged downstairs, from Friday, and Disco 3 was set up in the secret door room. ( With a live act covering 97% of the available back wall ). Disco 4, well disco 4 was 50 miles away, waiting for Green Flag!

As I said earlier, taking the subs meant I couldn't get the Polars in the van as well, so we had no spare cabs to get music in room 4. Matthew hurtled off to grab DJ 4 and his kit, while I put a Mastermix type thing on his rig, and loaded Automix on mine. Once Matthew and the luckless Andy returned, three of us ferried the kit upstairs to room 4, and left Andy to it. Fortunately, all rooms were having a three course dinner, and watching footy, so the late start was of little, if any consequence.

Four good nights followed, by all accounts, and we got to packing up. Matthew had planned to leave his rig, and take Andy home, but it turned out that he couldn't leave it in that room, so after a bit of thinking, and logistics, it seemed obvious that I needed to get two rigs in the van, and take Andy home, as I lived in vaguely the nearest direction to his home. Long story short, we played the Oriental art of Van Tetris, and set off for the M62. Normally, I would turn right when I hit this, and head for Goole, but this time I went left, towards Leeds. Once I'd dropped Andy and his kit off, I put my address in the sat nav, and realised instantly what was going to happen. I wasn't going back to the motorway, to cruise monotonously home, but going cross country, on a route which would see me passing motorway signs all the way, but ignoring them, in favour of villages, towns, and all manner of traffic calming measures, like junctions and traffic lights.

I saw bed gratefully at 4am, and little else till 11.30am!

Yes, that was pretty much how it was. We were lucky, with 4 of us being there and with all parties having sit down meals, plus some wierd game called football being watched, meant that all rooms were on background until well after 9.30. Except for room 4 where the big screens were in the room, adjacent to the dancefloor, so Andy, who's car had died got away with being AWOL unti 8.30pm as no background music was needed. All in all a great team effort with the genial Mr Fisher going above and beyond the call as is his won't.

The thing with "emergencies" is that they can't be foreseen and its the way they are handled that shows up. As far as I'm concerned we moved mountains to get the shows on the road, in good time and, in my view (and the other three's) to the customers's satisfaction. We await the scores from the judges.

Next Saturday, its me and Peter there and we can have some peace (but certainly no quiet)!

[Excalibur]

The thing with "emergencies" is that they can't be foreseen and its the way they are handled that shows up. As far as I'm concerned we moved mountains to get the shows on the road, in good time and, in my view (and the other three's) to the customers's satisfaction. We await the scores from the judges.

When you are called before the judging panel, just take your phone, with all the Fb pages entitled " Help, my DJ has just cancelled/let me down/vanished from the face of the earth".

Four discos in one night was a very creditable performance from you, in my opinion. Wouldn't have wanted my head on the block, I can tell you.

[Imagine]

That was a close shave!

After being absolutely flattened by industrial strength seasonal flu for most of the week (I've actually slept solidly for three days which is definitely NOT like me), I declared myself match-ready, stood down the stand in, and went to work like the brave little soldier I am last night.

Twas a works do in a little country pub which I'd been looking forward to. The idea being, I turned up at 9pm whilst the staff were turning the room round and the guests were decanted elsewhere (actually....outside in teepees!), and a 9:30 start. Well....that was the idea anyway.

Turned up 15 mins early on the off chance of a little more setup time only to find they're running an hour behind schedule. Oh well, it's -5 outside at this point, the pub's got a couple of roaring log fires going....I'm not about to start complaining

Eventually, and after a lot of persuasion because believe it or not, ladies in cocktail dresses and high heels didn't really fell the urge to decant to the teepees, it's time to unload the van (parked very conveniently right outside the front door), wheel the kit 20 feet into the pub and away we go. A quick blast with the hair dryer on the Prime4 and we're away into party mode.

Can you guess which way it went if I was to say that I was being asked for lots of stuff along the lines of Abba whilst I sat warming my cockles as they ate?

Oh yusssss!

It didn't matter what I played, the 90 minutes I had them for, they lapped it up. And do you know what? In my book that's what a Christmas party's all about....being able to let your hair down, forget the outside world and just enjoy the evening. It's also a plus if the guests do likewise

The hour and a half shot by in the blink of an eye and I'd already discussed the possibility of a fake ending with the landlady. In the event, I completely forgot, launched into my traditional Shakin' Stevens Xmas show ending, bade goodnight, and got a round of applause. They were as good as gold.

If only every party could work like that?

Tonight....slightly trickier in that I'm there for the meal as well and it's an upstairs function room with access via a lovely set of fire escape steps . Oh well, I don't supppose they can all be easy

[Excalibur]

Just Wow!

Oh, you want a fuller description? OK.

Makes young Wayne's crowd look positively miserable.

Right, late Thursday night, I got a message from a Multi op that one of his DJs was hospital bound, so he needed cover on Friday at least. I couldn't help Saturday, or it could have been a double header, and one less set up and pack down. So, Friday afternoon saw me fighting my way through Leeds rush hour traffic, to a big hotel. I had some inside information, and to be fair, I've had worse. Park on the pavement, next to the ramp, and trolley the kit in through the automatic doors. It was a long trek, and a good job I was early. The dance floor placement was less than optimal, and I had width to spare along a back wall, but a tight squeeze between floor and wall.
The room was in two parts, and I had been asked to spread the lights into both. No problem with Crossfires on the top of the poles, except one went crackers, and lit up all colours with no movement at all, no matter what I did. Just watch it work fine this morning!
Anyhow, I got all set up, everything worked just fine as I checked the lights, and got the van parked by the bins, in a pretty good place for getting away.
Guests arrived, in a very happy party mood. They started dancing and singing to Last Christmas, before the main course finished. Eek! Floodgates opened, and I could do no wrong. Midnight arrived in a blur of non stop rammed floors to absolutely everything. I had been told it was a 1am finish, but staff said midnight, and many of my guests must have planned to head off to late night venues, as there was a mass exodus before 11.30. Despite that, I had a full floor at midnight, to Fairytale, and Don't Look Back In Anger. If only all gigs were like this, eh?
Pack up, go home along less busy roads, and grab a well earned coffee, what could go wrong?

There's a McDonalds at a big shopping and leisure centre at Junction 32, and I ordered on the app, and pulled in, only to be informed they had no coffee! Whaaaat? Even worse, I got stuck behind a long order, and couldn't get out till he finished his order. Undeterred, I turned in to my local one, to find the drive thru coned off, but the app let me order for in store pickup. My van being the only vehicle in the car park was a bad sign. Although I had ordered ( and presumably paid for ) my coffee, the store was shut for cleaning. Giving the hapless assistant clearing up a rollocking did little to soothe my mood, and I admitted defeat, and drove home to enjoy my beer, purchased in the best filling station around. Reason for the praise? They let me in at all hours of the day/night to choose what I want, instead of poking things through sliding doors.

Back to reality tonight, with a crap load in at Forest Pines, in the room I've never yet worked at.

[Imagine]

Last night's effort was ALWAYS going to be a blinder. A large local GP practice out for a party after everything they've dealt with over the past couple of years.

There was absolutely NO holding back.

The venue, well....I don't tend to go there too often on account of an upstairs function room which is accessed via a fire escape. It's hard going, especially when it's blowing -3 around the edge of the building when you're trying to get out at the end of the night.

Simple enough job, turn up, set up (including some blue uplighting), play background for a couple of hours and then do what we all do best. A little unsure of whether they were ready to start of not I cheekily opened the mic and asked "are we ready to get the party started?". They erupted!

So....start on Mariah, into cheddar, then rock, then current dance, then Motown and then back to 90s anthems with a little bit of everything else scattered in between....nothing was going to stop these guys, not even the heat of the venue!

It's a 1230 slated finish time and by 1130 they'd started tiring. Numbers started decreasing leaving me with a hardcore of around a dozen for the last hour, the bulk of those being practice Partners so I had to be nice

The good part is that as per last night, the allotted end time came around, I said my goodnights and a "survivors photo" for them, and off they toddled good as gold. I've already been promised next year's shin-dig so my efforts must have worked.

Right - time for some sleep. The next one starts in a little under 10 hours time and involves entertaining a load of 9 year olds

[Excalibur]

After the heady heights of Friday, I returned to Earth, with an ego shattering thud. The only nice thing about Saturday was receiving a message from the chap who I covered for saying I'd had a great review. " That lad was good last night".

OK, Saturday's ego deflating account. Fifty folk who always book the small bar for their party. Expected to be party animals, and turned out to be disappointing. I was very early, as I'd never worked this room before, and best access is a wheelchair lift, which turns out to be quite good. There is discussion about where everything should go, as a dancefloor is brought up in small batches, as the whole thing exceeds the lift capacity.
Also, we have casino tables, who turn out to be the main focus of the night ( when the operators turn up at 9.30 to run them )!

They were a good enough crowd, but not dancers. 1am. was greeted with immense relief by me. Nothing booked now till NYE.

[mattydj50]

After the heady heights of Friday, I returned to Earth, with an ego shattering thud. The only nice thing about Saturday was receiving a message from the chap who I covered for saying I'd had a great review. " That lad was good last night".

OK, Saturday's ego deflating account. Fifty folk who always book the small bar for their party. Expected to be party animals, and turned out to be disappointing. I was very early, as I'd never worked this room before, and best access is a wheelchair lift, which turns out to be quite good. There is discussion about where everything should go, as a dancefloor is brought up in small batches, as the whole thing exceeds the lift capacity.
Also, we have casino tables, who turn out to be the main focus of the night ( when the operators turn up at 9.30 to run them )!

They were a good enough crowd, but not dancers. 1am. was greeted with immense relief by me. Nothing booked now till NYE.

Nevertheless, Mr Fisher is due some immense gratitude from myself for covering this function and, most importantly, his support again this year. Indeed, especially this year, which, in November and December has proved to be, operationally, one of the most difficult for me. Let's just say, dealing with a disfunctional venue has been a challenge, in more ways than one.

Peter, thank you.

[Excalibur]

Nevertheless, Mr Fisher is due some immense gratitude from myself for covering this function and, most importantly, his support again this year. Indeed, especially this year, which, in November and December has proved to be, operationally, one of the most difficult for me. Let's just say, dealing with a disfunctional venue has been a challenge, in more ways than one.

Peter, thank you.

Aw shucks. You ain't too bad to work for yourself.

It's a two way street, and this past few months has reminded me why I never want a residency again. Matthew also deserves praise for dealing with trials and tribulations in a calm and efficient way, despite a certain venue throwing a bag of spanners into the works on a regular basis. Now if we can only persuade them to let us play up and down the pitch, instead of across it, and have an early bath when appropriate................